question for guys: porn and relationships

[Jersey Shortie]

Marlse and I disagree on the topic but we agree we could both find "articles" or "studies" that prove our personal case.

 

 

People rarely listen to those who put them down, whether its an in-your-face put down or by inference!

 

That works both ways. I will repeat: It's funny how you feel offended by my generalized view on men (even more interesting how you tie porn and men together), yet it's okay for there to be a generalized view of women floating around in porn.

 

I never understood why men get mad at me for talking about an industry that is built on generalizing, stereotyping, idealizing, and objectfying women al lthe while becrying how I am generalizing them. I guess it's okay to generalize women but it's not okay to do the same to men.

 

 

And there's an equal amount of women looking and dressing to impress, to seek or enjoy attention/satisfaction from those other than their SO. To some men, they'll find this behavior disrespectful and lacking in love. But to most people, men and women, they'll see "all" these behaviors as minor problems, if a problem at all.

 

And there is an equal amount of men that are in relationships that oggle other women on the street. You want to compare women dressing for attention then compare it to the men that stare at them and give them the attention they seek.

 

 

Its up to you, me, everyone to determine the role they wish to play in a relationship. No one needs to be a follower, a victim, unless they choose to be, in which case the main problem here isn't this issue, or any issue for that matter - the problem is with the person themself!

 

That has nothign to do with the qoute you qouted me by. I will repeat:You're just suppose to follow him blindly even though he is showing you that he can easily toggle betwen what roles he thinks what women should play.

[A O]

That works both ways. I will repeat: It's funny how you feel offended by my generalized view on men (even more interesting how you tie porn and men together), yet it's okay for there to be a generalized view of women floating around in porn.

Three points (1) I'm not offended - your negative outlook towards men however, is a big reason why most men don't consider your views. Now this is something I first pointed out to you five years ago. Obviously, bashing men is more important to you than gaining their understanding. (2) What would be interesting is the day that you can enter a porn thread without talking about men in a negative manner. (3) Your views on male behavior are hardly representative of the masses JS. You're not speaking in general terms; you're at the extreme end.

 

I never understood why men get mad at me for talking about an industry that is built on generalizing, stereotyping, idealizing, and objectfying women al lthe while becrying how I am generalizing them.

Whatever you accuse men of doing, you do yourself. Their behavior upsets you, stands to reason that your similar behavior will upset them.

 

And there is an equal amount of men that are in relationships that oggle other women on the street. You want to compare women dressing for attention then compare it to the men that stare at them and give them the attention they seek.

I'm using your logic to compare JS - your logic! Broken down into its simplest form it means - men who look at women other than their SO equals disrespect, dishonesty and more towards their girl. Therefore, using that very same logic in reverse, women who dress for attention are being equally disrespectful, dishonest and whatever else to their man.

 

That has nothign to do with the qoute you qouted me by. I will repeat:You're just suppose to follow him blindly even though he is showing you that he can easily toggle betwen what roles he thinks what women should play.

Once again, no one needs to blindly follow anyone - no one needs to be a victim here. If you or anyone has an issue with your partners behavior then understand that you can do something about it. Do what most people do without thinking in their relationships - be proactive!

 

 

.

[Jersey Shortie]

Three points (1) I'm not offended - your negative outlook towards men however, is a big reason why most men don't consider your views. Now this is something I first pointed out to you five years ago. Obviously, bashing men is more important to you than gaining their understanding. (2) What would be interesting is the day that you can enter a porn thread without talking about men in a negative manner. (3) Your views on male behavior are hardly representative of the masses JS. You're not speaking in general terms; you're at the extreme end.

 

 

I do have some negative views on men over certain topics. I think men have a *huge* weakness for pornography. And more of a dependency then they care to admit.

 

However, I don't think being honest about that means I am bashing men. I think there is an extra sensitivity on both sides, male and female. Just because we address points that are characteriscally more negative in one gender over another, doesn't mean we are bashing them.

 

I try to understand. I really do. But it always comes back to the one argument. And that argument is that most men defend porn. Period. Which I don't even understand.

 

Whatever you accuse men of doing, you do yourself. Their behavior upsets you, stands to reason that your similar behavior will upset them.

 

Umm, I already made this point. I do not understand why men get so offended by generalizations of their gender when porn is a huge generalization of the female gender. I do not understand why men get mad and tell me I am bashing them when the porn they are looking at objectfiies women, often refers to them in four letter names and showcases them as nothing but a toy to use and discard. I will never understand it. It's not fair that I get told I am bashing men for being honest about an industry that clearly men love but doesn't treat women very nicely.

 

I'm using your logic to compare JS - your logic! Broken down into its simplest form it means - men who look at women other than their SO equals disrespect, dishonesty and more towards their girl. Therefore, using that very same logic in reverse, women who dress for attention are being equally disrespectful, dishonest and whatever else to their man.

 

Sometimes this is true in both cases. Sometimes women dress for overt attention. Sometimes men look too much outside their relationship. However, coming across someone on the street is a different subject matter then pornography.

[A O]

However, I don't think being honest about that means I am bashing men.

Most people can be honest about their views without bashing others full stop. Five years on, and you're still bashing men - in the name of so-called honesty at that.

 

I try to understand. I really do. But it always comes back to the one argument. And that argument is that most men defend porn. Period. Which I don't even understand.

Your view is clouded, you'll never understand why you're this way.

 

I do not understand why men get so offended by generalizations of their gender when porn is a huge generalization of the female gender.

Again, this whole subject boils down to behavior, and your behavior is little different to the men you accuse.

 

Sometimes this is true in both cases. Sometimes women dress for overt attention. Sometimes men look too much outside their relationship. However, coming across someone on the street is a different subject matter then pornography.

Remember this is your logic we're using here. It is not situation dependent, its behavior dependent. So, when anyone wishes to look or be looked at, then your logic dictates that they're being disrespectful to their partner.

 

 

.

[Jersey Shortie]

It's okay to generalize, stereotype, objectify women. It's not okay when men get called out on their behavior that helps to generalize, stereotype and objectfy women. That's apparently "bashing".

[A O]

It's okay to generalize, stereotype, objectify women. It's not okay when men get called out on their behavior that helps to generalize, stereotype and objectfy women. That's apparently "bashing".

Don't get hung up on terms. You wanted to know why men aren't listening. I'm pointing out that the answer lies in your behavior. You examine male behavior, you don't like it, yet you exert the very same disrespectful behavior in return. And yet you wonder!

 

As for generalizations, I say again, your views are not generalizations, they are at the extreme end of the behavioral spectrum. If your views were ever to be taken seriously, that would mean big, big changes in behavior for "both" men and women. Now, a few women folk would be quite happy to see some changes in men but they sure the heck wouldn't cop any changes to their own behavior! Doing whatever it takes to not draw attention to themselves is as foreign to most women as men doing whatever it takes to not look at them. It wouldn't happen - that's why your views are everything but generalizations.

 

.