question for guys: porn and relationships

[homersheineken]

If you're viewing porn on a regular basis than youre an addict to me. And someone I would not trust to be in a committed relationship at all. No telling what other inappropriate things you may venture off and look at when I am not around (child/underage pornography/weird fetishes). Its so easy to caught up in that mess since its one click away..

 

How can you trust someone who is prejudiced, generalizes and changes arguments when they are losing as you did?

 

If you can't be with anyone who has watched porn you're going to be 1) very lonely 2) with a liar. Based on the traits you've already exhibited in this thread, I'm not sure why they would want to deal with that...

[AAlike]

The porn threads have gotten me curious.

 

1. When you're in a serious, committed relationship do you continue to regularly view porn assuming that you're being satisfied sexually by your partner?

 

Ummm...I view it some of the time when I masturbate, like most people. I have never chosen masturbation/porn instead of sex in even one instance during a 2 1/2 year relationship. However, I have masturbated on some occassions when sex was not readily available for whatever reason. some of the times that I have done so, I watched porn.

 

2. Does the frequency with which you view or whether you view it at all correspond to how strongly you feel about your partner? In other words, do you still look at porn when you're completely head over heels for a woman and getting regular sex with her?

 

I would never view porn if I was getting "regular sex" even from someone that I wasn't in love with. no one is going to choose porn over good sex!

 

if your guy is viewing porn instead of having sex with you, the problem is not the porn, it's either the sex isn't good or your guy has issues. You can blame the porn all you want, but it's only a symptom of the illness.

 

but let's address the case that I think bothers most women - when for whatever reason, your guy is horny and wants to get off and sex is not an option. let's say hypothetically you go on a two-week vacation.

 

Would you expect:

1) your guy to not masturbate at all until the next time that he sees you

2) your guy to masturbate but only while thinking of you

3) your guy to masturbate to whatever is in his head but not to watch porn...

 

i'm very curious to this, and it segues nicely into this question:

 

3. Do you imagine having sex with your SO when looking at the porn?

 

well of course not...why would I look at porn if that was what I was imagining?!? However, I do often masturbate while thinking of my SO - during those times I don't use porn.

 

Using porn doesn't mean that I want to actually have sex with the people in the video. sex is light years apart from masturbation.

 

when I'm masturbating, I'm just trying to get off quick, so I conjure up a fresh visual image. If I have had some awesome sex lately, I'll usually just coast off of that (ha!) - if not, sure, I'll often use porn. but it's a MOVIE for god sakes!

 

My boyfriend told me that he hasn't been able to get off to porn since we started dating and has lost all interest in other women. I thought this was sweet and interesting, but it wouldn't have bothered me had he continued to view porn. I'm wondering how applicable this is to guys in general when they feel very strongly about a woman.

 

well it very well may be true - he probably thinks that porn is lame relative to regular sex with someone that he's really into - as he should (and as it is!). and "interest in other woman" is a very relative term. I am not "interested" in other woman in the slightest either - but that doesn't mean that I can think other women are attractive.

[MissJoness]

How can you trust someone who is prejudiced, generalizes and changes arguments when they are losing as you did?

 

If you can't be with anyone who has watched porn you're going to be 1) very lonely 2) with a liar. Based on the traits you've already exhibited in this thread, I'm not sure why they would want to deal with that...

 

No, I wont be lonely or with a liar. Because not every man views porn all the time.

[AAlike]

ummm - not enough attention is being paid to this:

 

One being my father. He was never into that stuff and as a kid I used to search my parents room from top to bottom and never found any dirty videos or magazines in their posession. The only thing I found was some condoms as a kid & that was it.

 

so you went on an anti-porn witch hunt as a kid in your PARENT'S room?? wow - who does that?

[FryFish]

No, I wont be lonely or with a liar. Because not every man views porn all the time.

So its gone from "views porn regularly" to "views porn all the time"... You know its easier and more honest to just admit you were mistaken than it is to simply pretend you werent saying what you were saying.

[MissJoness]

So its gone from "views porn regularly" to "views porn all the time"... You know its easier and more honest to just admit you were mistaken than it is to simply pretend you werent saying what you were saying.

Regularly is the same as all the time

[Itzo]

The porn threads have gotten me curious.

 

1. When you're in a serious, committed relationship do you continue to regularly view porn assuming that you're being satisfied sexually by your partner?

 

2. Does the frequency with which you view or whether you view it at all correspond to how strongly you feel about your partner? In other words, do you still look at porn when you're completely head over heels for a woman and getting regular sex with her?

 

3. Do you imagine having sex with your SO when looking at the porn?

 

My boyfriend told me that he hasn't been able to get off to porn since we started dating and has lost all interest in other women. I thought this was sweet and interesting, but it wouldn't have bothered me had he continued to view porn. I'm wondering how applicable this is to guys in general when they feel very strongly about a woman.

 

Porn is very addictive ... if a man decides to quit from it, the transition will be difficult, but NOT impossible.

 

It is like trying to quit smoking.

 

If a man is in a healthy relationship, he still might watching porn, if not sexually satisfied.

 

Men produce sperm everyday in large amounts (depending on the age) ... if the tank is not dumped ... simply explodes (I am a little exaggerating here, but you get the point).

 

So WET DREAMS will release this sexual energy anyway, if men do not watch porn (jerk off) or do not have sex with their partners. The sperm has to flow, think it as water running in a dam, eventually the water level will overflow, if not dumped on time. or the wall of the dam will not be strong enough to keep all the water in it.

 

Men's reproductive system does not stop ... EVER. This energy has to be released by some form of sex.

 

So I am not going to say that most men watch porn while in relationship or not, it is simply an addiction if they do. I can't speak of everyone here.

 

But I agree that porn messes up with the men's understandings upon sex, and mostly I agree with MissJones that men who watch porn find it difficult to get involved in a relationship, because of bad programming decoded from the porn industry.

[Green]

To the ongoing MissJones, Homer, Fishfry porn Debate I say this. Not all men look at porn. Don't throw out fake statistics, Maybe 99.999% look at porn regularly.... maybe only 50% do, the point is who studies this and how accurate could a study on this even be?

I personaly have looked at alot of porn in my life. I have chosen to not look at porn anymore. Its not like I'm a saint, I still want bj's and doggy and what ever other perverted things in my life. I just don't want to be staring at 2-d women, or even be going to strip clubs. I think you've lost control of yourself when you waste your time or money on fake sex. Its not that I plan on making a baby every time I have sex, but atleast its real. I'm even against masterbation for the most part unless you have no alternative and in that case I would recomend keeping it to a minimum of once a week.

Looking at porn on the internet will pervert you. There is no way I would have ever thought of cumming on a girls face, or double penetration, or tranny women on my own. But if you look at porn or buy porn there is no way around it. You will catch a glimpse of tranny porn being advertised, you will see a cum shot or squirters or ect... you will see stuff your mind would have never come up with, and wife swapping and ect. begin to seem normal. It will change the satisfaction level you get from real life whether you admit it or not.

People do get addicted to porn. If you just made a silly bet with yourself to stop looking for a month I bet most of you couldn't do it.

[MissJoness]

Porn is very addictive ... if a man decides to quit from it, the transition will be difficult, but NOT impossible.

 

It is like trying to quit smoking.

 

If a man is in a healthy relationship, he still might watching porn, if not sexually satisfied.

 

Men produce sperm everyday in large amounts (depending on the age) ... if the tank is not dumped ... simply explodes (I am a littleexaggerating here, but you get the point).

 

So WET DREAMS will release this sexual energy anyway, if men do not watch porn (jerk off) or do not have sex with their partners. The sperm has to flow, think it as water running in a dam, eventually the water level will overflow, if not dumped on time. or the wall of the dam will not be strong enough to keep all the water in it.

 

Men's reproductive system does not stop ... EVER. This energy has to be released by some form of sex.

 

So I am not going to say that most men watch porn while in relationship or not, it is simply an addiction if they do. I can't speak of everyone here.

 

But I agree that porn messes up with the men's understandings upon sex, and mostly I agree with MissJones that men who watch porn find it difficult to get involved in a relationship, because of bad programming decoded from the porn industry.

 

THANK YOU.

 

I met a guy and the first day I went over his house, he pops in some porn video that had an orgy of anal sex. Asking me if I wanted to try that and other things. He was one of those guys who watches porn ALL THE TIME, total creep. I've had experiences with guys like this and they are just not relationship material.

[skydiveaddict]

But I agree that porn messes up with the men's understandings upon sex, and mostly I agree with MissJones that men who watch porn find it difficult to get involved in a relationship, because of bad programming decoded from the porn industry.

 

 

 

I agree. Pornography is a distortion of what love and true intimacy really is. I know a guy who lost his job because of his addiction to it. He simply could not stop himself. He viewed it constantly. It also wrecked his marriage

Edited February 2, 2010 by skydiveaddict

[AAlike]

THANK YOU.

 

I met a guy and the first day I went over his house, he pops in some porn video that had an orgy of anal sex. Asking me if I wanted to try that and other things. He was one of those guys who watches porn ALL THE TIME, total creep. I've had experiences with guys like this and they are just not relationship material.

 

I understand - I went out on a date once with a girl once that drank so much that she threw up multiple times, tried to shower and ended up slipping and falling and spraining her ankle, and then when I tried to leave after she sobered up a little, threatened to call the police if I didn't spend the night with her.

 

So now I will not go out with anyone that has ever had one drink in their life because they will all obviously eventually end up like her!!

 

sound logic, right?

[FryFish]

I know a guy who lost his job because of his addiction to it. He simply could stop himself. He viewed it constantly. It also wrecked his marriage

Sounds more like a World of Warcraft addiction to me.

 

the point is who studies this and how accurate could a study on this even be?

The percent found would always be less than the actual percent because people would be more likely to lie and say they dont watch it than lie to say that they do.

 

He was one of those guys who watches porn ALL THE TIME, total creep

How long did you date him to determine that he watched all the time?

[AAlike]

Porn is very addictive ... if a man decides to quit from it, the transition will be difficult, but NOT impossible.

 

It is like trying to quit smoking.

 

it's not like that at all, actually.

 

 

Men produce sperm everyday in large amounts (depending on the age) ... if the tank is not dumped ... simply explodes (I am a little exaggerating here, but you get the point).

 

So WET DREAMS will release this sexual energy anyway, if men do not watch porn (jerk off) or do not have sex with their partners. The sperm has to flow, think it as water running in a dam, eventually the water level will overflow, if not dumped on time. or the wall of the dam will not be strong enough to keep all the water in it.

 

Men's reproductive system does not stop ... EVER. This energy has to be released by some form of sex..

 

this I will agree with, but what does that have to do with a porn addiction?

 

But I agree that porn messes up with the men's understandings upon sex, and mostly I agree with MissJones that men who watch porn find it difficult to get involved in a relationship, because of bad programming decoded from the porn industry.

 

It's a shame that there are people that don't understand the distinction between fantasy and reality, but surely you realize that those people are an exception to the rule...

[sid3]

I never got into porn, seen it a few times, will probably see it a few more. I'd bet the guys are right, he probably has seen porn at least once, he just hid it better than the condoms.

[Itzo]

it's not like that at all, actually.

 

 

 

this I will agree with, but what does that have to do with a porn addiction?

 

 

It's a shame that there are people that don't understand the distinction between fantasy and reality, but surely you realize that those people are an exception to the rule...

 

 

If you think that porn is not addictive ... and if you think that is actually NECESSARY thing to do, then you have a problem.

 

In fact, there is not much distinction between fantasy & reality ... since we experience the world via mapping. And what that means is that our brains create the reality we experience ... let me be a little more spooky with you ... there is no COLOR, SMELL or TASTE in the REAL world. It is all invention of the human brain, we call it perception. So, you tell me what's the definition of fantasy? It is a concept ... or just an idea that is backed up by nothing.

 

Fantasy is just a theory ... but I feel like I am going off topic here

 

So make up your mind and try to reduce the porn for your own good.

Porn is messing up with you ... do not try to stop it ... but try to reduce it. And for god sake, find yourself a real girlfriend

[FryFish]

In fact, there is not much distinction between fantasy & reality ..

 

you have a problem.

 

In order to be a functional human being you must operate on the assumption that the world your brain creates for you is based upon input from an objective external reality. Now back to topic.

 

Porn is messing up with you ...

Actual studies have proven that mass access to porn is reducing incidents of sexual violence. There is a link in this thread.

 

do not try to stop it ... but try to reduce it.

For society, less porn equals more rape. Do you really advocate rape?

 

And for god sake, find yourself a real girlfriend

I interview girls for the position rather often(read that I go on dates).

[silverfish]

In order to be a functional human being you must operate on the assumption that the world your brain creates for you is based upon input from an objective external reality. Now back to topic.

 

Actual studies have proven that mass access to porn is reducing incidents of sexual violence. There is a link in this thread.

 

For society, less porn equals more rape. Do you really advocate rape?

 

I interview girls for the position rather often(read that I go on dates).

 

So, AHEM (excuse the phlegm)..... You are saying that the rise of internet porn means that I can stop worrying about my daughter getting raped? And the world is now a better place? If so, can we expect a tribute single sometime soon? Maybe you should call Bono...

[Barky]

1. When you're in a serious, committed relationship do you continue to regularly view porn assuming that you're being satisfied sexually by your partner?

 

Yes

 

2. Do you still look at porn when you're completely head over heels for a woman and getting regular sex with her?

Of course.

 

3. Do you imagine having sex with your SO when looking at the porn?

Hell no. Porn is about NEW girls.

[FryFish]

You are saying that the rise of internet porn means that I can stop worrying about my daughter getting raped?

Im only repeating what the studies have shown. Im not saying stop worrying altogether, although the chances of her being a rape victim are significantly LOWER today with our mass access to porn than they were BEFORE it was so readily available. If you want to argue with me then please debate the facts as they are and not what you are pretending I am saying. THat is, dont put words in my mouth.

 

And the world is now a better place?

Its better in that there is significantly less rape going on. Or do you disagree that less rape is a good thing?

[soserious1]

Yes

 

Of course.

 

Hell no. Porn is about NEW girls.

 

then why bother getting into a relationship at all, why not just pursue new women?

[silverfish]

Im only repeating what the studies have shown. Im not saying stop worrying altogether, although the chances of her being a rape victim are significantly LOWER today with our mass access to porn than they were BEFORE it was so readily available. If you want to argue with me then please debate the facts as they are and not what you are pretending I am saying. THat is, dont put words in my mouth.

 

Its better in that there is significantly less rape going on. Or do you disagree that less rape is a good thing?

 

Sorry, this is laughable, like I said, call Bono, or Sting or someone and get them on the case, show them 'the studies', and tell them 'the facts as they are'. You should be campaigning for porn to be compulsory if what you're saying is true....

BTW does your 'argument' swing both ways? Does this mean that less men get raped as well? Does this mean that if we watch more horror films then less people get stabbed? The possibilities are endless....

[FryFish]

Sorry, this is laughable

The science is about as laughable as the fact that you are using a computer to post on the internet... How often do you look at a fact and laugh?

 

You should be campaigning for porn to be compulsory if what you're saying is true....

Is that what I said or is that a straw man you are stuffing? Forcing someone to do something and LETTING someone do something are not going to achieve the same results.

BTW does your 'argument' swing both ways? Does this mean that less men get raped as well?

Probably. But I cant claim that I know much about females raping males... Im sure it happens but the idea seems silly to me. It probably helps prevent male/male rape though.

 

Does this mean that if we watch more horror films then less people get stabbed? The possibilities are endless....

Not the same at all. Edited February 3, 2010 by FryFish

[silverfish]

The science is about as laughable as the fact that you are using a computer to post on the internet... How often do you look at a fact and laugh?

 

Is that what I said or is that a straw man you are stuffing? Forcing someone to do something and LETTING someone do something are not going to achieve the same results.

Probably. But I cant claim that I know much about females raping males... Im sure it happens but the idea seems silly to me. It probably helps prevent male/male rape though.

 

Not the same at all.

 

You can say 'science', 'facts' and 'studies' as much as you like....doesnt mean anything at all, so yes, it is laughable. You sound like a skincare advert

[FryFish]

You can say 'science', 'facts' and 'studies' as much as you like....doesnt mean anything at all, so yes, it is laughable.

If you read the thread you would have seen the links to the studies. And if you ACTUALLY think that science is laughable then I suggest you move into a cave. btw, congratz on being the first person I choose to ignore.

[silverfish]

If you read the thread you would have seen the links to the studies. And if you ACTUALLY think that science is laughable then I suggest you move into a cave. btw, congratz on being the first person I choose to ignore.

 

There are 2 links in this thread - one about conservatives watching porn and one about people in Utah...great - enlightened!