You'reasian Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 If that's the case, why not just turn to another woman. If the girl is consistently not putting out, it's time to find a new girl, because that's no relationship. It depends on the individual. Some of us dudes would prefer to try to work things out with the woman we're with. If it can't be worked out, then that may be the final solution.
ella23 Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 It depends on the individual. Some of us dudes would prefer to try to work things out with the woman we're with. If it can't be worked out, then that may be the final solution. Do you watch porn even if you get a lot of sex?
sugar_and_spice Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 The truth is harsh but it is not attacking. I can say similar stuff about men, but I don't generalize.
ella23 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 I can say similar stuff about men, but I don't generalize. Don't bother. In his eyes, most women are misandrists for some reason.
CaliGuy Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 Porn is boring. Why watch something you could be DOING instead!? I've never understood that mentality.... Besides if you hold out for your S/O you have more in "reserve" haha
You'reasian Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 (edited) Porn is boring. Why watch something you could be DOING instead!? I've never understood that mentality.... Besides if you hold out for your S/O you have more in "reserve" haha I agree! Not married, but you gotta give your woman your all I do think some folks need to maintain their sexual energy independent from their partner and I'm sure there are women on here who agree... Edited February 7, 2010 by You'reasian
ella23 Posted February 7, 2010 Posted February 7, 2010 I agree! I do think some folks need to maintain their sexual energy independent from their partner and I'm sure there are women on here who agree... Elaborate. lol
sugar_and_spice Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Don't bother. In his eyes, most women are misandrists for some reason. ya i know, but that comparison with porn was silly.
sugar_and_spice Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Porn is boring. Why watch something you could be DOING instead!? I've never understood that mentality.... Besides if you hold out for your S/O you have more in "reserve" haha haha, true.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted February 8, 2010 Author Posted February 8, 2010 You'll never change the male libido; men produce 17 times the testosterone of even the horniest female. I don't want to change the male libido. I understand men have more testosterone. I like those things about men that make them more testoseroney. But I do think sometimes men justify too much on their hormones on their libido and expect free passes. The level of self control that men choose not to practice today is the real issue. Both men and women want self control from their partner. Men no more like it when women justify their emotions on hormones then women like it when men justify themselves based on their hormones either. And it happens too much today. And it causes frustration to both parties. Likestolaugh And as for self control, it's not like I don't have any... I don't whip it out in public or restrooms and start jerking off just because the mood strikes. You say men don't have self control, but they do. Come on, isn't that a pretty low standard to go by, that men at least don't whip it out anytime they feel in public? That's all we can expect? It does seem that whenever men feel a twinge, they just satisfy it any means they can short of sleeping with another woman if they are with a woman. If I ate junk food at the same rate men masturbated everytime they felt like it, I would be fat. Yes, I don't think men have much self control. If they do, they don't practice it very much. Do you think men would perfer that their partner exercise self control when it came to that ice cream or do you think men would be like "you go darling! You eat as much as you want as long as it makes you happy". Yeah right! LikestoLaugh Do you want to look nice when you go out? do you? Even when your not with your bf? Does that mean you're looking to pick up men... attract attention from other men? I don't flirt with other men when I have a boyfriend. I'm confused. I like to look nice. Lonestock Well JS, that quote is generalized and inaccurate. When I'm sexually fulfilled I have no desire to look at porn. I've been called insatiable before, but it's not like I'm a botomless pit, that's a ridiculous thought. Lonestock, you've read the comments from the other guys here. They still desire to look at porn even if they have a gf. Others proudly state that they are insatiable and that women should just suck it up and deal with it. It's nice to know there are guys like you out there but alot of men do infact seem like bottomless pits of sexual need. Sincereonlineguy Here's an 'adventure' for you: Strip down to nothing, and go in there and watch the porn with him! (you're not there to mock. You're there to listen (and then some) ) That will prove to be an adventure. (OR you could try the alternative... have a fit and then go sleep on the couch { for 8 days, 17 months, or 24 years }). As is always the case with things sexual: "It's your call" Why is it that this solution gets dished out whenever someone comes on here clearly bothered by porn?? Have you not been listening? What do I get out of making myself vunerable and sitting by him while he gets turned on by other women in porn? What do I get out of sitting there waiting for him to get excited then turn to me to finish the job after he got excited over other women? that's sexual adventure to you? Sexual adventure is watching a pre-scribed porn movie that he used to get excited and then take it out on me? Oh yeah, that sounds like so much fun. (Sacrasm). I guess it is for the guy because you can have yuor sex toys on screen and then a real life sex toy next to you. Sure, she doesn't have the 18 year old body that yuo were just oggling but at least she is warm and accepts you right? Because you couldn't actually get the girl on screen so you settle for what you can get. And if you can get the girl that loves you to spread her legs after you got hot from the women on screen, that's even better. For you. You'reasin Ladies, it doesn't help if you turn your man down. Sometimes its necessary if you're tired etc. but if it becomes a repeating issue, some guys can and will turn to the porn. But that's just it! It doesn't matter if you turn him down or if yuo try to fullfill him and have fun. Either way, as many of you stated, you are still looking at porn. Lol. So who cares if you turn him down alot! It doesn't matter. You made my point for me. No point in putting in the work to connect with him if it matters not.
St. Nick Posted February 8, 2010 Posted February 8, 2010 Porn is boring. Why watch something you could be DOING instead!? I've never understood that mentality.... Besides if you hold out for your S/O you have more in "reserve" haha Porn is also free. There are so many places where you can get tons of porno movies for free. That's probably why dudes can get into it. Also, I watch a lot of lesbian porn. So it's not something I can be doing.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Why is it that this solution gets dished out whenever someone comes on here clearly bothered by porn?? Because the someone is usually too clueless to figure out the obvious and arrive at that conclusion without coming on here. the 18 year old body that yuo were just oggling In most cases you're damn lucky that the body was "18" and not younger!!
sugar_and_spice Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Porn is also free. There are so many places where you can get tons of porno movies for free. That's probably why dudes can get into it. Also, I watch a lot of lesbian porn. So it's not something I can be doing. how is porn being free relevant, especially to the OP?
Author Jersey Shortie Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 Because the someone is usually too clueless to figure out the obvious and arrive at that conclusion without coming on here. You make no sense. In most cases you're damn lucky that the body was "18" and not younger!! Lucky that they aren't oggling someone younger? Wow. I feel bad for your girlfriend.
St. Nick Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 how is porn being free relevant, especially to the OP? I was responding to his statement in the quote. Is that a crime here? In any case, porn is free and quick to get. I know dozens of sites where I can get hours and hours of porn just by clicking a few links. We live in an era of convenience. It's good to have a backup in case your main squeeze wants doesn't want to uncross her legs.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 These comments are just proving my comments about male self control. I am starting to think that male self control is like a mythical Unicorn. Only something talked about but never seen.
CaliGuy Posted February 9, 2010 Posted February 9, 2010 Porn is also free. There are so many places where you can get tons of porno movies for free. That's probably why dudes can get into it. Jumping off a bridge is free too Also, I watch a lot of lesbian porn. So it's not something I can be doing. Find a bi-sexual girlfriend. Problem solved.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted February 9, 2010 Author Posted February 9, 2010 I guarantee that you have sex toys... are they evil too? Do you use a sex toy on yourself? Why don't men opt to use sex toys instead if that's what they find it comparable to for women? sex toys are comparable to sex toys. Period. Women have nothing equal that treats men in the same fasion that men have that treats women. Like they are worthless. If you want to use a fake vagina on yourself go ahead. That's the only think comparable to a female sex toy.
mem11363 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 So Sham, If you are in the mood, and you initiate with your wife/gf and she says: "I am also horny but I don't want to have sex with you, I just want to use my vibrator." Would you really be ok with that? And ok if it became a pattern? I would find that behavior totally unacceptable and would say so. Because that is what you are calling femi nazi -bs below. If she wants to use a rabbit in addition to connecting with me - fine by me. It is not up to me to comment on what she does with a toy when she and I aren't playing. Supplements are fine, substitutions are not. What the f$#& is this femi-nazi bull&^%? That is pathetic.
mem11363 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 JS, I am giving you a hypothetical man to assess as a long term partner. This is intended to be a realistic profile - a guy you can definitely find - not a 1 in a 100 or 1 in a 1000 kind of deal. 1. He is completely monogamous. While in the relationship with you he does not seek out, or respond to any type of relationship overtures from other women. No phone sex, no internet chat sex, nothing interactive with a live person at the other end and nothing in the real world. 2. He finds you highly desirable - physically and personality wise. And you can tell this simply by how he acts towards you - always touching, smiling, commenting. As for discussions regarding aging - well he laughs about his male pattern baldness and asks that you not hold it against him and he will extend the same courtesy. 3. When he is with you he does not stare/gawk at other women, even if they are scantily dressed and even if they are very hot. He looks at you and makes a point NOT to make you feel less attractive to him because some hotties are in the room. 4. He is very compatible with you sexually and tells you so. He says sex with you is akin to being defibrillated - THAT GOOD - and he laughs that you may truly stop his heart one day and really he is fine with that. 5. His drive is so high - so incredibly high - sometimes he can barely hear himself think over the roaring of testosterone in his veins. And you both joke about whether he could get a scrip from his doctor that would greatly reduce his sex drive so you two could be on the same page in terms of frequency. And it is now year 3 - and yes you are still into him - but your idea of a healthy frequency 3/week and his 15/week are so far out of kilter that something has to give. Either you feel used or he feels tense. This is a very real and not rare situation. Or it is year 4 and with a brand new baby you are really not up for more then twice a week mercy sex. And so the porn thing becomes his overflow. It is what he does to cover the spread between your acceptable frequency and his desired frequency. And he means it when he says he prefers you to porn. But he is kind of frustrated - maybe even a little angry and definitely hurt you don't want as much sex as him. So any comments about his porn use are met with a snarky response about you being not so into constant sex like you were in the beginning and why should he be punished because you are no longer that into him. So that is your profile. Assume everything else about him is good. Binary question - is he acceptable or not. If not, if the porn thing is a show stopper you can find a decent percent of guys who do not watch porn at all for religious reasons. But those guys have certain expectations regarding who makes the decisions in the house as well. If you were ok with a guy being the head of household, you would have a shot. But if not, you are looking for a guy who is more like the unicorn you mentioned. Meaning if you exclude highly religious christian/islamic/jewish guys because you want to be an equal in the R, and after excluding them try to find a guy doesn't look at porn because he just thinks it is immoral, well that guy is very rare. He may exist, but is very rare. These comments are just proving my comments about male self control. I am starting to think that male self control is like a mythical Unicorn. Only something talked about but never seen.
You'reasian Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 JS, I am giving you a hypothetical man to assess as a long term partner. This is intended to be a realistic profile - a guy you can definitely find - not a 1 in a 100 or 1 in a 1000 kind of deal. 1. He is completely monogamous. While in the relationship with you he does not seek out, or respond to any type of relationship overtures from other women. No phone sex, no internet chat sex, nothing interactive with a live person at the other end and nothing in the real world. 2. He finds you highly desirable - physically and personality wise. And you can tell this simply by how he acts towards you - always touching, smiling, commenting. As for discussions regarding aging - well he laughs about his male pattern baldness and asks that you not hold it against him and he will extend the same courtesy. 3. When he is with you he does not stare/gawk at other women, even if they are scantily dressed and even if they are very hot. He looks at you and makes a point NOT to make you feel less attractive to him because some hotties are in the room. 4. He is very compatible with you sexually and tells you so. He says sex with you is akin to being defibrillated - THAT GOOD - and he laughs that you may truly stop his heart one day and really he is fine with that. 5. His drive is so high - so incredibly high - sometimes he can barely hear himself think over the roaring of testosterone in his veins. And you both joke about whether he could get a scrip from his doctor that would greatly reduce his sex drive so you two could be on the same page in terms of frequency. And it is now year 3 - and yes you are still into him - but your idea of a healthy frequency 3/week and his 15/week are so far out of kilter that something has to give. Either you feel used or he feels tense. This is a very real and not rare situation. Or it is year 4 and with a brand new baby you are really not up for more then twice a week mercy sex. And so the porn thing becomes his overflow. It is what he does to cover the spread between your acceptable frequency and his desired frequency. And he means it when he says he prefers you to porn. But he is kind of frustrated - maybe even a little angry and definitely hurt you don't want as much sex as him. So any comments about his porn use are met with a snarky response about you being not so into constant sex like you were in the beginning and why should he be punished because you are no longer that into him. So that is your profile. Assume everything else about him is good. Binary question - is he acceptable or not. If not, if the porn thing is a show stopper you can find a decent percent of guys who do not watch porn at all for religious reasons. But those guys have certain expectations regarding who makes the decisions in the house as well. If you were ok with a guy being the head of household, you would have a shot. But if not, you are looking for a guy who is more like the unicorn you mentioned. Meaning if you exclude highly religious christian/islamic/jewish guys because you want to be an equal in the R, and after excluding them try to find a guy doesn't look at porn because he just thinks it is immoral, well that guy is very rare. He may exist, but is very rare. Interesting and insightful post. Would women like JS prefer a guy whose got a 15x a week sex drive and have to keep up with, until they get tired and don't want to do it anymore and allow porn to be used as the remainder... or a guy whose drive is much, much lower, doesn't view porn for religious reasons and is also king of the household.
mem11363 Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I am NOT suggesting the religious guy has a lower drive. I am saying that he does not watch porn. Lets leave the religious guy as the same physically as the non religious guys. He has a very high drive. He is a decent fellow so he doesn't demand sex multiple times a day, though he does believe his wife has a biblical obligation - not being funny here - to connect with him daily if he asks. But if he needs more than that he masturbates without the use of porn because he sees porn as immoral. So JS is not having to give up sexual frequency for the religious guy, he just has been taught that wives are to be submissive to their husbands. I am not making these comments to be inflammatory, I am describing the world as it exists today. Interesting and insightful post. Would women like JS prefer a guy whose got a 15x a week sex drive and have to keep up with, until they get tired and don't want to do it anymore and allow porn to be used as the remainder... or a guy whose drive is much, much lower, doesn't view porn for religious reasons and is also king of the household.
paddington bear Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I have a male friend who kindly let me stay in his apartment once (he was abroad) and he said 'please don't go snooping'. I promised not to (I'm not a snooper) then he said jokingly 'I don't want you to stumble across my porn collection' then more seriously 'because it is there, if you think guys don't look at porn, you're kidding yourself'. Porn on some level has existed from the beginning of time, look at those Indian temples featuring copulating couples, sex images feature in Roman wall paintings in houses, in ancient Japanese prints. It's always been there and probably always will. I guess the only difference now is the sheer ease of access 24 hours per day and the variety and the price-free nature of it. Possibly the sheer abundance of porn now makes it more a problem for some women, rather than the fact that it exists. I personally have never had a problem with a man choosing porn over me, or feeling like I am less worthy because he happens to look at porn, but then I'm sure there must be those who are addicted, which goes into a whole other realm. My problems with porn would be these: 1:That it teaches young guys who are not sexually experienced that this is what good sex is. It's good sex for them to watch and to turn them on, but probably not good sex in reality that would really bring a woman to orgasm. 2:Who are these women in porn movies? Yes, some are ok with it, happy it is their career and have chosen it and make a fortune from it, but I would imagine that the majority are poverty-stricken, wanna-be models or actresses, drug addicts, women from poor countries etc who end up in a sleazy industry due to necessity rather than choice and that makes me a little uncomfortable at times. 3:That it gives a false impression of what women's bodies should look like, slim, massive fake boobs, blonde hair, bleached *******s etc.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted February 16, 2010 Author Posted February 16, 2010 Mem, that doesn't seem like a realistic profile of a man at all. Or it is year 4 and with a brand new baby you are really not up for more then twice a week mercy sex. And so the porn thing becomes his overflow. It is what he does to cover the spread between your acceptable frequency and his desired frequency. And he means it when he says he prefers you to porn. But he is kind of frustrated - maybe even a little angry and definitely hurt you don't want as much sex as him. So any comments about his porn use are met with a snarky response about you being not so into constant sex like you were in the beginning and why should he be punished because you are no longer that into him. So that is your profile. Assume everything else about him is good. Binary question - is he acceptable or not. All the wonderful traits you gave him, of coures he is acceptable. However, if there are snarky comments and bitterness between us, for his porn use, that's not an acceptable situation. It causes an issue. I just don't see how a man's sexual whims are reason enough to justify the debasement of the female gender. And in all seriousness, the situation you discribed, up until the porn, is so idealistic. That's not real life. Most men view porn because they want to. It's just that simple. They don't view it because they are so self sacrificing and are doing it out of their love and consideration for their partner. They do it because they want to orgasm. THey do it because they want to see hot young girls getting bleeped and they can escape into fantasy land. Not because they are being so self sacrificing and doing it out of love for the woman in their life. I really dislike the attempt to make it sound like the ONLY reason men look at porn is out of love and respect for their partners. Come on. 1:That it teaches young guys who are not sexually experienced that this is what good sex is. It's good sex for them to watch and to turn them on, but probably not good sex in reality that would really bring a woman to orgasm. Really, who cares about the woman's pleasure? that's secondary to watching some guy smack his dick on a girls face and make her suck him off while she looks like she just ate the best cheese cake ever. 2:Who are these women in porn movies? Yes, some are ok with it, happy it is their career and have chosen it and make a fortune from it, but I would imagine that the majority are poverty-stricken, wanna-be models or actresses, drug addicts, women from poor countries etc who end up in a sleazy industry due to necessity rather than choice and that makes me a little uncomfortable at times. Again, not something men care about when they can get off. 3:That it gives a false impression of what women's bodies should look like, slim, massive fake boobs, blonde hair, bleached *******s etc. Again, not something men care about because that's what men want. 18 year olds with fake boobs. It's so sad they get stuck with normal woman. Who can blame them from turning to porn, that's where they can find the kind of women they *really* want and think they *really * deserve.
Mr White Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 My beautiful gf is as good as - if not better than -any of the vixens on the net - I know, because i've looked . I can't even remember the last time i spent any discernible amount of time looking at porn, simple because I don't feel the need to. My drive is probably average, or even on the lower end. I probably would check out the latest porn if I don't see my gf for a few weeks, but the point is that there is a huge difference between letting the valves open in a controlled fashion and blowing up the whole engine. Any substance or behavior can get out of control. Just because 40,000 people die in alcohol related crashes is not a reason to outlaw alcohol; just because the alabama professor shot her colleagues is not a reason to outlaw guns, etc. The decision rule is pretty simple - if the costs of irresponsible use outweight the costs of responsible use, then you can ban (and so we ban heroin, but are about to legalize marihuana) People should make their own choices, and the thought police can lick my bollocks! I might delay going to bed just to watch a double penetration flick just for spite.
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