Clear Things For Me

[SoVicious]

My ex and I broke up about a month ago, and after the break up I did all the wrong stuff. We were together for a year and a half. The breakup was my fault, I was controlling and very jealous.Well after i made a fool of myself I decided to give her sometime but couldn't last more than 2-3 days, I was used to seeing/talking to her everyday.

 

Every time I suggest that we hang out she agreed, and we had a great time. The first time we hung out after the break up, I told her about how I messed up the relationship and how I could fix it. She started to cry and just asked for me to take her home, and I did just that.

 

About two weeks ago, I called her to see what she was up to. She seemed like she was in a hurry, so I was just going to let her go, but she suggested that we go on campus and buy our books for the next semester. I couldn't turn her down. We got our books and got close afterward and had sex. She told me before we got intimate that she had had sex with someone else during our break, but that it didn't mean anything. She insisted that we hung out after we were intimate, so we hung out the rest of the day, but there was no touching or kissing.

 

I didn't initiate contact for a until she sat next to me in class, because she signed up for the same class as me, after we had broken up. I didn't talk to her in class, but it was raining so I gave her a ride home. She asked if something was wrong, and I just shrugged(she should know whats wrong). So I dropped her off, and didnt talk to her again until the next time we had class together, which was last thursday.

 

She sat next to me again even thought she had a friend sign up for the class with her, and she is leaving him sitting alone to sit next to me. We made some jokes back and forth about the movie we were watching in class, and she asked if we could grab something to eat after class. I agreed, but it continued to just be joking and laughing and I took her home.

 

This is when things get interesting. We have hung out everyday for at least five days, for considerate lengths of time. We went to the mall, went out to eat together numerous times, went to a comedy club, and ended last night with dessert. I am avoiding talking about "us", because I don't want to rush into it. I am just trying to show her the guy she feel in love with. The last two nights she has let me put my arm around her and on a few occasions our faces have been so close, and the look in her eyes were just like old times. During dessert we fed each other. But at the end of the night, we just share a hug, and most of the time she takes a deep breathe and tells me that i smell good.

 

Am I crazy, or is this girl in limbo about what she wants? I understand that I messed up, and looking back I would have ended it way before she did if someone were treating me that way. So I can understand that she doesn't want to just take me back that fast, she wants to make sure I have changed my ways. What are you opinions on this?

[DustySaltus]

She's right. A second chance cannot work unless both people realize the issues that broke them up in the first place and work to fix them. It's not always easy and definetly not fun. That's why a lot of people would rather move on.

 

I think that she may have rebounded pretty fast but everyone has their own way of getting past things. It does seem like things can be worked out though, if you are willing to put in the effort.

 

Question: Was the guy she signed up to the class with the one she slept with?

[SoVicious]

dont have to worry about this. i wont give her a second chance. i found out today she is hooking with my best friend, and probably like 4 other guys.

[DustySaltus]

Geez........how did you find out? What the hell happened?

[SoVicious]

Well i was suspicious of him. I mean after we broke up they started talking more and more. He doesnt even live around here, and he is like 4-5 years older. She told me they were talking every night on the phone. This guy doesn't get much action so i know he wasn't playing her, and that he has feelings for her. she told me that they were just friends.

 

Then i "intercepted" some messages from him where he is telling her that he doesnt know what to do because he is in the middle ground of liking her and just being friends and how he likes her more and more everyday, calling her cute and everything. Unfortunately I couldn't intercept her replies.

 

I called her after i got those messages, because i was extremely pissed. I confronted her and told her that I knew about what was going on, and she just said "alright" and didn't care much. She also made the comment that she could tell me a lot of stuff right now but she wasn't going to do that.

 

I just deleted her from my phone and facebook. No Contact starts now. She better hope she doesn't try to sit next to me in class again.

[DustySaltus]

NC is the way to go. I'm sorry about the situation. I would just have another friend sit next to you in class. I don't know why she would say that "There's a lot of stuff she could tell you...." But just let it roll off your back and focus on yourself. Use this experience to make yourself a better bf going forward.

 

If she tries to resurface with old feeling you will have a decision to make down the line. But remember a second chance should start with her saying, "I made a huge mistake". I apologize and I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this work".

 

Good luck.

[SoVicious]

She texted me to never talk to her or call her ever again. So I replied...

 

Never talking again sounds great to me. After our talk this morning i already did the liberty of blocking you on facebook,skype, and i deleted your number. Im done with your ****. I know that I may have messed up what we had, but I was doing my best to improve our relationship, while you were just lying to me, like when we were together. you said you didnt know anything when i asked you about smoking, and you said ______ and you were just friends, which i trusted you on. The point is you do not care anymore, and for the longest time after we broke up i did care. I made that mistake once and I will never again. You aren't the girl i fell in love with, and you arent the girl i loved anymore. I saw little bits of her over the last five days, and you cant lie and say the past five days were just to hang out with me. Whatever I mwasting my time. Have a great life.

[SoVicious]

Okay so new development.

 

Today was my 5th day of NC! But guess who called? Of course... my ex.

 

I didn't answer and I let it go to voice mail(I didnt expect her to leave a voice message, she never does). Well she left one today and I had a listen to it, she is asking for some of her "intimate clothing" back. The message went something like this:

 

Hey, I just remember I have some stuff at your house still, and I want it back. So I will give you a call later I guess.

 

I have all this stuff stashed away now, and I do not want to deal with looking at everything in that box. I also to be honest... do not want to see her, but i can't just give this stuff to a friend to give to her.

 

How should I go about doing this, and why does she care if she gets this stuff back? When we were still talking after we broke up she was always talking about how much new lingerie she had. Could this be an excuse for her to check up on me because I have carried out my promise to never talk to her again?

[SoVicious]

Just completed one week of NC! :D:D

 

Sorry, I will be posting my achievements on NC to keep me going! Thought I couldnt do it! Week 2 here I come!

[DustySaltus]

Good job with the NC, stay strong. As far as her stuff, put it in a sealed box and have someone you trust give it to her....that's that.