moman Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 A few weeks ago a girl asked me to attend a wine and cheese party with her. My previous experience of these kind of parties is a bunch of middle-class people sitting around trying to one-up each other and brag about stuff that doesn't matter much. I listened to my neighbor brag about making $600 in one day trading penny stocks. That kind of bragging means nothing to me, as I do very well but no one would guess because of the way I live and act. I live nicely and have nice things but can't stand wasting my money or being in debt. I told the girl I wouldn't attend because I couldn't identify with that kind of lifestyle and disliked being around the bragging. She told me she isn't like that and it's only her friends, and then mentioned that she didn't understand why I seemed so blue collar by driving an older pickup truck and prefer having a beer in a bar. My question is, does anyone else have an inability to relate to these kind of cliche topics?
Ronni_W Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I find certain topics boring, yes, but I can still relate, learn something, find different things to talk about. And even though the subject of "penny stocks" doesn't matter to me, I get that it matters to other people. Maybe it's more about not having confidence or social skills enough to believe one can get through a wine-and-cheese with ease and grace, and it's inferiority masquerading as contempt? In any case, it seems rather limiting to confine one's self to JUST "beer and wings" or JUST "wine and cheese" or JUST "champagne and caviar" -- I'd rather shoot for being comfortable whether I'm mingling with beggars, royalty or persons in-between
Trimmer Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 So, do you actually know the people who might have been at the party, or were you basing your assumption that it was people who live "that kind of lifestyle" strictly on the fact that it was a wine and cheese party, and then stamping it with the distaste of your past experience, which I assume wasn't this same group of people at all?
Taramere Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I went to a cheese and wine thing at the Saatchi gallery once, and it wasn't boring at all. The various works of art in the room were good talking points and brought various groups of strangers together. One of my friends entertained a group of well bred ladies by pretended to shag Damien Hirst's "sheep in formaldehyde" from behind. I joined a discussion going as to whether or not a tampon lying in amongst the mess surrounding Tracy Emin's bed was a used one. Although it started off being a bit dry and pretentious, by the end of the evening everyone was very friendly and spirited. On the other hand, a wine buff friend dragged me to a cheese and wine thing at my local university...and it was terrible. Churchy types and wilting academics sitting on hard wooden seats, taking prim little sips of wine, passing educated comment and being very dignified about the whole thing. I don't know that anyone mentioned penny stocks, but I'm sure "what's on at the theatre" (the kind with a stage) and properties for sale in Provence got a few mentions. It's wine. You're supposed to slosh it back then regale the room with anecdotes from your childhood before collapsing in a sobbing, puking heap, otherwise what's the point?
Author moman Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 I find certain topics boring, yes, but I can still relate, learn something, find different things to talk about. And even though the subject of "penny stocks" doesn't matter to me, I get that it matters to other people. Maybe it's more about not having confidence or social skills enough to believe one can get through a wine-and-cheese with ease and grace, and it's inferiority masquerading as contempt? In any case, it seems rather limiting to confine one's self to JUST "beer and wings" or JUST "wine and cheese" or JUST "champagne and caviar" -- I'd rather shoot for being comfortable whether I'm mingling with beggars, royalty or persons in-between Interesting comment. I can fit into most social scenes, as with my job I routinely rub shoulders with those who are doing very well. As such, I find that in general those doing well don't feel the need to brag about it or try to show off. The most humble person I've met was on the fortune "top 100 most wealthy" and you would have never guessed it. Which is the opposite I've seen at a few wine-and-cheese parties that I've attended. I do think you have a point - I live such a non-traditional lifestyle that I do find it hard to relate to people sometimes. BTW - the penny stock conversation was enjoyable, the one where I listened to a person drone on and on for an hour about how they're going to buy and flip condos for megamillions and how renters are losers was not so much. Based on your comments, I'll go to the party and just relax and try to enjoy myself. At worst case, I'll just tip back another glass
Trimmer Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 Based on your comments, I'll go to the party and just relax and try to enjoy myself. At worst case, I'll just tip back another glass Good for you. Socializing in a new group is very much like dating: yes, first you have to decide if you even want to go, based on first impressions (and this sounds kinda like a blind date for you, I suppose ), and then there's no guarantee what it's going to be like once you're committed. It could be a boring evening that you just want to get to the end of, it could be a real gem, or it could just be a pleasant-enough evening somewhere in the middle... Have fun...
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