D-Lish Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 People with a healthy sense of self don't give so much credence to what other people think- they certainly don't let others impact them negatively.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Looks aside, losers are losers in other ways. For instance these guys would be losers in my book. These are some of the guys I've either met online, or met in my private offline: Guy with drinking problem and drug addict. Guy who is married but pretending to be single online (yep, met this one and he seemed great until he slipped). Guy who I later found out had a lengthy prison record. Another guy who had been arrested for hitting a woman. Guy who wanted to have sex on the first date and when I said no, he said he didn't want to date me. Guy with many children out of wedlock from different women. Ladies, if a guy has out of wedlock children by more than one woman, he'll do the same to you. Guy who's never held a job. I avoid these types.
SilkRose Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Looks aside, losers are losers in other ways. For instance these guys would be losers in my book. These are some of the guys I've either met online, or met in my private offline: Guy with drinking problem and drug addict. Guy who is married but pretending to be single online (yep, met this one and he seemed great until he slipped). Guy who I later found out had a lengthy prison record. Another guy who had been arrested for hitting a woman. Guy who wanted to have sex on the first date and when I said no, he said he didn't want to date me. Guy with many children out of wedlock from different women. Ladies, if a guy has out of wedlock children by more than one woman, he'll do the same to you. Guy who's never held a job. I avoid these types. Wonderfully stated. Your list shows that you consider men who show a lack of ethics, good character/morals and basic common sense are losers. I agree. Well put. Being a loser is about not maintaining basic hygiene standards and living by very basic principles for example being a liar. Its a shame because men who behave like this, make it harder for women to date and trust men who are genuine.
counterman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I agree with what D Lish said. Someone who has a healthy state of mind and self- esteem will not take what people say to heart and let it affect them so negatively, even if some do find him/her unattractive.
paddington bear Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Young man wants girlfriend and or sex with random women. Young man tries his hardest to ask women out, gets rebuffed. Picks himself up, tries again and again and again, gets rejected. Young man gets bitter and angry over his lack of success. Young man tries to figure out what the problem is. Young man adds anger to the bitterness. Young man comes to the conclusion that there is nothing at all wrong with him and thus this is all the fault of all women with their stinking attitudes and over-ambitious requirements of men. Young man hates women, but paradoxically hates that he still wants them. Young man reads women's threads on LS and comes to the conclusion that when they say 'loser' they mean a man is a loser because he's unattractive to them. Young man still hasn't figured out that even if he works out in the gym, does charitable work, that perhaps his approach or attitude might need some minor adjustments. Young man needs to somehow learn to deal with rejection. (Yes men get rejected more than women and that's unfair, but that's the way it is. Women get rejected too in all sorts of other ways, a guy telling her he loves her to get her into bed and then never calling again and so on.) Young man is doing everything right, EXCEPT realising that he needs an attitude adjustment, and until he sees dating and the rejection that comes with that as a game, or fun, and learns to dust himself off and get back on the merry-go-round he will remain bitter and dateless forever.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Wonderfully stated. Your list shows that you consider men who show a lack of ethics, good character/morals and basic common sense are losers. I agree. Well put. Being a loser is about not maintaining basic hygiene standards and living by very basic principles for example being a liar. Its a shame because men who behave like this, make it harder for women to date and trust men who are genuine. Thanks. Sadly, I had to date a few guys like these to really develop a set of what's right and wrong. There was a time in my early 20's where I wanted a boyfriend so bad that I overlooked my values just to have one. I once got brainwashed by a con artist/pimp. I didn't know he was like this because he seemed so sweet at the time. After I got to know him is when his true colors came out. Then when he tried to pimp me out I was out the door because I'm no hooker. However, I wasn't so smart when it came to money and put his name on my checking account (he wiped me out). It took me a long time to trust any guy. The next guy I dated (through a close friend) was a sweet guy but because of my experience with the pimp/con artist I couldn't trust him and he couldn't deal with that. I'm still friends with him and always wonder if we would have gotten married (he asked) if I hadn't had such a terrible experience with the first guy.
Trialbyfire Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 A loser is someone who takes a victim's role, whining and bemoaning their fate in life and in this case, since it's about physical unattractiveness, blame-shifting with generalized ass-umptions.
carhill Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 –noun 1. a person, team, nation, etc., that loses: The visiting team was the loser in the series. 2. Informal. a. a person who has been convicted of a misdemeanor or, esp., a felony: a two-time loser. b. a person who has failed at a particular activity: a loser at marriage. c. someone or something that is marked by consistently or thoroughly bad quality, performance, etc.: Don't bother to see that film, it's a real loser. 3. Slang. a misfit, esp. someone who has never or seldom been successful at a job, personal relationship, etc. From the OP in one of the referenced threads: It seems like a lot of people here say online dating is a complete & total minefield and it's mostly losers. Yet, in spite of that, the OP was interested in trying online dating and likely thinks of herself as an outlier to the 'mostly losers' category she's been hearing applied to online daters. I think that's healthy, if applicable. I'm online dating, due to geographical necessity, consider myself an outlier and am meeting and greeting women and assessing those interactions based on the boundaries I've established as a result of MC. Are the incompatible potentials 'losers'? Heck no, nor am I for them. TBH, whatever label they apply to me matters not. Billions of people in the world to choose from. Best wishes in your choices
torranceshipman Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Man, that's rich, you complaining about b*tching and moaning....it's all that you do! In fact you probably do it the most....
Angel1111 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 I don't think either of those posts said anything about unattractive guys being losers. I can meet a handsome guy and figure out within 10 seconds whether he's a loser or not. I can also meet what you might refer to as unattractive and figure out pretty quickly what he's made of, too. And my opinion of him will have nothing to do with his looks. The one woman in that post is apparently very pretty and if she wants a handsome guy, then that's her choice. Just like some guys only want to be with a beautiful woman. I think you're reading way too much into what you think women want and don't want. If you have problems with women, there may be something about your personality that is turning them off - and I'd bet money that it's not your looks. The thing is, men are much more inclined to make looks a high priority and, because that's the way men think, they automatically assume that women think the same way. Some do, but the majority do not. Work on your personality or on how you come across to women because we're very intuitive and that's probably where you're missing the mark.
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