Hazyhead Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 ... in two years time? Be honest. I thought about this today and I'd be lying if I said that I was 100% glad that the affair is over. I'd struggle in the tough moments to even find 50%, because I still love him. But, I thought - do I see myself exclusively with him in two years time? The answer i found is, no. I see myself with someone, but it's not him. It's someone who values me above all others and I do likewise to him. It's someone whom makes happy far more often than he makes me sad. That's what I want. If we all look inside, is the answer really there all the time? Do we choose not to see it because we are blinded with love and hope, or whatever it damn well is?
hopeless4u Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 ... in two years time? Be honest. I thought about this today and I'd be lying if I said that I was 100% glad that the affair is over. I'd struggle in the tough moments to even find 50%, because I still love him. But, I thought - do I see myself exclusively with him in two years time? The answer i found is, no. I see myself with someone, but it's not him. It's someone who values me above all others and I do likewise to him. It's someone whom makes happy far more often than he makes me sad. That's what I want. If we all look inside, is the answer really there all the time? Do we choose not to see it because we are blinded with love and hope, or whatever it damn well is? Hah...now there's a question.....I know where I'd like to be in 2 yrs time!! Not sure I will be but I'll certainly be trying!!
skywriter Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 In two yrs, I see myself having moved on and learned some valuable lessons, that I do not wish to ever repeat.
Author Hazyhead Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Hah...now there's a question.....I know where I'd like to be in 2 yrs time!! Not sure I will be but I'll certainly be trying!! Ah... vague
Author Hazyhead Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 In two yrs, I see myself having moved on and learned some valuable lessons, that I do not wish to ever repeat. I like this. At the very least we'll have learned the hard way what not to do or be
hopeless4u Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Ah... vague I'll give you an in depth version on Friday when I've taken him apart;)
Author Hazyhead Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I'll give you an in depth version on Friday when I've taken him apart;) THAT, I will look forward to
jennie-jennie Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Well, I see 3 alternatives: Still in the affair. MM has ended our relationship, so I will be alone or perhaps having a sexual relationship with my exSO. MM's marriage is over - surprise, surprise - so he and I are enjoying (and struggling with) our relationship openly. Nope, no fantasies about Prince Charming suddenly appearing on the scene.
hopeless4u Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 THAT, I will look forward to Ha Ha, yeah it could be very colourful!!
Fallen Angel Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Well, I see 3 alternatives: Still in the affair. MM has ended our relationship, so I will be alone or perhaps having a sexual relationship with my exSO. MM's marriage is over - surprise, surprise - so he and I are enjoying (and struggling with) our relationship openly. Nope, no fantasies about Prince Charming suddenly appearing on the scene. I am gonna have to go with jennie on this one, minus the part about having sex with my ex.... I would rather stab myself in the eyeball with a plastic fork than ever do that again!! It would be nice to say that i have a clear cut vision of my life in two years, but I don't. I guess I will have to let ya know in two years. *shrug*
White Flower Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 ... in two years time? Be honest. I thought about this today and I'd be lying if I said that I was 100% glad that the affair is over. I'd struggle in the tough moments to even find 50%, because I still love him. But, I thought - do I see myself exclusively with him in two years time? The answer i found is, no. I see myself with someone, but it's not him. It's someone who values me above all others and I do likewise to him. It's someone whom makes happy far more often than he makes me sad. That's what I want. If we all look inside, is the answer really there all the time? Do we choose not to see it because we are blinded with love and hope, or whatever it damn well is? Well this could go either way for me. He could finish his IC and decide he has what he needs to feel whole enough to benefit me, US, or he could decide that his comfort zone is better for him and say goodbye. THAT choice is his to make and I still have my choice over here. I'm sort of in limbo but I'm handling it well. I go out many times a week, spend time with my friends, and let guys buy me a drink or ask me for a dance. I can't sit around and wait forever nor can I give myself wholeheartedly to a new guy yet because the previous one still lives in my heart. If I had to close my eyes and wish real hard, in two years time I am living happily with the love of my life whoever that is.
Lizzie60 Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 In 2 years... hopefully still alive.. or still walking without the need of a walker.. Humm.. in 2 years.. that will go sooooooooooooooooo fast... time flies.. methink I will be exactly where I am right now... with all my MMs.. having fun and spending like crazy...
White Flower Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 In 2 years... hopefully still alive.. or still walking without the need of a walker.. Humm.. in 2 years.. that will go sooooooooooooooooo fast... time flies.. methink I will be exactly where I am right now... with all my MMs.. having fun and spending like crazy... Sounds like you are very happy right where you are Lizzie!
fooled once Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 ... in two years time? Be honest. I thought about this today and I'd be lying if I said that I was 100% glad that the affair is over. I'd struggle in the tough moments to even find 50%, because I still love him. But, I thought - do I see myself exclusively with him in two years time? The answer i found is, no. I see myself with someone, but it's not him. It's someone who values me above all others and I do likewise to him. It's someone whom makes happy far more often than he makes me sad. That's what I want. If we all look inside, is the answer really there all the time? Do we choose not to see it because we are blinded with love and hope, or whatever it damn well is? Hazy, I loved reading the bolded. YOU DESERVE it!! I can tell you, during the A I was in, especially in the last months of it, I realized how utterly miserable I was MOST of the time. The only time I was happy was after seeing/hearing from him. This is part of what spurred me on to make the break. I wanted more. I finally realized with him, I wasn't going to get anymore. Sure, he made promises and heartfelt confessions of love and all that...but those were words, not actions. Even right at the end, the swore he would make a change, but it really was too late. He contacted me several times after I ended it, saying he was coming back for me (he had moved) but I didn't believe it -- even after he sent me his itinerary. It didn't move me. TOO much hurt had happened. I have no idea if he did fly here, because I told him I didn't want to see him. It hurt, I won't lie. I laid curled in a ball every day after work. I cried more tears during that time than I had in all my life. But, I grew, stronger each day, I grew more confident and eventually, I started dating and after a couple yucky dates with guys, finally met me H. LIFE goes on and love comes to you. Wait for it, demand what you deserve and don't accept anything less!
fooled once Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I am gonna have to go with jennie on this one, minus the part about having sex with my ex.... I would rather stab myself in the eyeball with a plastic fork than ever do that again!! It would be nice to say that i have a clear cut vision of my life in two years, but I don't. I guess I will have to let ya know in two years. *shrug* I SECOND that!!! Never, ever again -- I would go without for the rest of my life before ever, ever going down that road again.
jennie-jennie Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I SECOND that!!! Never, ever again -- I would go without for the rest of my life before ever, ever going down that road again. Well, my ex has a hot body! I like sex so he would certainly do. :bunny:
clueless haha Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 In 2 years time i see myself.... .....with my soulmate and i am the best uncle that a couple of nieces or nephews could ever wish for (i hope they have girls) :)
crazycatlady Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 Well, my ex has a hot body! I like sex so he would certainly do. :bunny: JJ you crack me up. I like that. I'm guess he also knows what to do with a hot body. CCL
Confused4Now Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 For me turning 52 this year....I see myself finally with someone who will love me and respect me. I will have learned a valuable lesson from the mess of an affair. Hopefully my Ex and I are in a situation where we are good friends and totally focused on my current 14 year old daughter. And I have no desire or to see my MW ever again.
mybrowneyedgirl Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 wow....no clue where I'll be in 2 years. hopefully happy and living my life for my children and myself and not for some man. although i cant picture my life, i do picture mm's...still living the constant torture and drama from his W. she still wont be "over" the A but still just maintaining, miserable and passing the time. he'll be more unfulfilled than he's ever been.
BlueeyedJonesy Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 wow....no clue where I'll be in 2 years. hopefully happy and living my life for my children and myself and not for some man. although i cant picture my life, i do picture mm's...still living the constant torture and drama from his W. she still wont be "over" the A but still just maintaining, miserable and passing the time. he'll be more unfulfilled than he's ever been. MBEG, maybe thats a goal you should set for yourself..stop thinking about your MM and his W. It's unhealthy. You have no idea what goes on in their home.
hopeless4u Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 wow....no clue where I'll be in 2 years. hopefully happy and living my life for my children and myself and not for some man. although i cant picture my life, i do picture mm's...still living the constant torture and drama from his W. she still wont be "over" the A but still just maintaining, miserable and passing the time. he'll be more unfulfilled than he's ever been.[/QUOTE] Yep this is exactly where my xMM will be too and you know what....he deserves every miserable minute the lying, cake eating son of a bitch!!!
whichwayisup Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 MBEG, maybe thats a goal you should set for yourself..stop thinking about your MM and his W. It's unhealthy. You have no idea what goes on in their home. I agree with you 100% on this one. MBEG, strive forward and do your absolute best to stop thinking about exMM and his wife. Focus on you and maybe either divorce your H or decide to work things out with him. Yep this is exactly where my xMM will be too and you know what....he deserves every miserable minute the lying, cake eating son of a bitch!!! You need to stop putting this ALL ON HIM, and put some of this on you. It takes two to tango and everytime he does or says something, you react. Maybe not by contacting him, but you still react to your inner core. LET IT GO and focus on healing.
Fallen Angel Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 You need to stop putting this ALL ON HIM, and put some of this on you. It takes two to tango and everytime he does or says something, you react. Maybe not by contacting him, but you still react to your inner core. LET IT GO and focus on healing. Perhaps people should recognize that she is working through the stages of grief .. step one denial (read her posts from yesterday) step two, anger.. she seems like she is getting there.. I say BRAVO!! Let her rage on!!!
hopeless4u Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I agree with you 100% on this one. MBEG, strive forward and do your absolute best to stop thinking about exMM and his wife. Focus on you and maybe either divorce your H or decide to work things out with him. You need to stop putting this ALL ON HIM, and put some of this on you. It takes two to tango and everytime he does or says something, you react. Maybe not by contacting him, but you still react to your inner core. LET IT GO and focus on healing. I will be putting it on him until Friday and when thats done I will heal but until then I will stay angry enough to want to kick him in the nuts so hard he will be spitting them out!! Yes I react, I react because I'm human and I've finally got angry enough to end this once and for all but on my terms. He's had it sweet for far to long and its about time he got what he has dished out....3 fold!
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