What SEX does to people?

[meerkat stew]

Sorry, but I do not share your reality!

 

There's only one.

[Itzo]

I believe we create our own realities. We have our animal desires but we also have our human brains. Are we thinking ourselves into prisons. Sex is one of those things that needs to be done with moderation. For me the combonation of testostorone in my body and sex drive is the greatest drug. I really enjoy good sex more then anything but I run the risk of hurting myself in the long run. As of late I have decided to activly not think about sex and have stopped looking at all pornogrophy. I think quiting pornography is harder then quiting cigerettes. though I never smoked regularly so maybe I shouldn't speak.

 

Cool, I like your point of view ... pretty close to mine (maybe that's why )

 

Pornography is addictive, I do not know if is harder to quit from the pornography than the cigerettes, but there is some correlation there.

 

Because porn is like the fast food, it is like the alochol ect.. it is an ADDICTION. So that's bad You can't get enough of what you really do not need. As a result of this you want it MORE and MORE ... just can't stop yourself. This is fundamental, amigo , write it down ... somewhere put it in your journal

[Itzo]

There's only one.

 

 

There is only one reality?

 

Ok, this is off topic, but I am gonna tell you this ...

 

You do not live in MY reality, because you do not have the same life experience as mine. So every person on this planet has his/her own reality. So how many realities this makes? Over 6 billion?

[Ms. Joolie]

What's the difference between desire and a need?

 

to desire - to want, without neccesity

 

to need - to want, with neccesity

 

 

Love, sex, intimacy.... we desire these things and perhaps we even need them. Biologically, we need sex for the human race to thrive. Emotionally, perhaps the same.

[Itzo]

to desire - to want, without neccesity

 

to need - to want, with neccesity

 

 

Love, sex, intimacy.... we desire these things and perhaps we even need them. Biologically, we need sex for the human race to thrive. Emotionally, perhaps the same.

 

You are messing up things.

So by your definition of a need and desire ...

 

Sex is a need, not a want.

Because you said that sex is a desire.

And desire is based on a WANT, not a need all the time.

 

There is a difference between WANT & NEED. Read my posts above, and you'll understand why.

 

Desire is really a WANT.

You do not desire something you NEED, necessarily.

 

Example ... you may desire to buy a car, right?

But you may do not need it, because you may bought the car just to show off. so you do not really need it, because you cannot use it for yourself. It is a WANT, not a NEED ... based on the desire you had to buy the car in the first place.

[Ms. Joolie]

You might be a sex addict. I do not know ...

 

Not a sex addict.... hehe. Just drawing the line on what my need is with sex verus my want. Biologically, I am told that I want to reproduce children, being a young woman.

 

But I don't need to reproduce children for crying out loud.

 

What I do feel that I need is that kind of intimacy with my partner, the kind of closeness that creates something, that gives depth to our relationship. A sort of fulfillment.

 

I need fulfillment sexually, just trying to find out what that is, what that means. NOT a sex addict, just discovering where my fulfillment lies sexually, as a woman.

 

And coming to terms with birth control. lol

[Ms. Joolie]

Example ... you may desire to buy a car, right?

But you may do not need it, because you may bought the car just to show off. so you do not really need it, because you cannot use it for yourself. It is a WANT, not a NEED ... based on the desire you had to buy the car in the first place.

 

Just like a car is a vehicle to a destination, sex is a vehicle to a destination. You need to get to that destination, that is your fulfillment.

 

So it just is mixed. The need and the desire is mixed.

[Itzo]

Just like a car is a vehicle to a destination, sex is a vehicle to a destination. You need to get to that destination, that is your fulfillment.

 

So it just is mixed. The need and the desire is mixed.

 

Ok, I can take that

I can't think of an example now, where desire is mixed with a need ... but it is possible you just want to protect your point for saying that sex is a desire .. of course it is I was just messing with you ...

[meerkat stew]

So how many realities this makes? Over 6 billion?

 

Guess that means both the Saints and Colts will win the Super Bowl then. Cool, gonna make big money, hope my bookie is up on his alternate reality theory. Does the stock market close up 100 and down 100 on the same day too? That would be neat.

[meerkat stew]

What I do feel that I need is that kind of intimacy with my partner, the kind of closeness that creates something, that gives depth to our relationship. A sort of fulfillment.

 

What say you to all the millions of religious practitioners in the world who practice chastity or celibacy? Are they just ignoring their need and leading incomplete lives? Or rather have they merely moved past a particular -desire- in life?

[Itzo]

Guess that means both the Saints and Colts will win the Super Bowl then. Cool, gonna make big money, hope my bookie is up on his alternate reality theory. Does the stock market close up 100 and down 100 on the same day too? That would be neat.

 

I am not some kind of desperate chick to use your "cocky & funny" theory

 

By trying to shallow mine "reality theory."

[Ms. Joolie]

What say you to all the millions of religious practitioners in the world who practice chastity or celibacy? Are they just ignoring their need and leading incomplete lives? Or rather have they merely moved past a particular -desire- in life?

 

I believe they are sacrificing a part of their human nature for a spiritual nature. It's a sacrifice of their nature for a a higher cause. They make sex a choice in this instance, but they are fully aware that they are sacrificing something.

[Itzo]

Not a sex addict.... hehe. Just drawing the line on what my need is with sex verus my want. Biologically, I am told that I want to reproduce children, being a young woman.

 

But I don't need to reproduce children for crying out loud.

 

What I do feel that I need is that kind of intimacy with my partner, the kind of closeness that creates something, that gives depth to our relationship. A sort of fulfillment.

 

I need fulfillment sexually, just trying to find out what that is, what that means. NOT a sex addict, just discovering where my fulfillment lies sexually, as a woman.

 

And coming to terms with birth control. lol

 

See the bolded sentances ...

I will oppose them for a sec., so bare with me.

 

I believe you just do not want to reproduce children for craying out loud .. but you need them, from a genetical point of view. Your biological drives flavor the idea that you MUST have kids ... but you want something else.

You want to have meaningless sex, to get your quick fix or instant gratification .. it is like the porn, the alcohol ... it is called, addiction.

 

You do not need to be fulfilled sexually, but you WANT it. See what I mean?

[espec10001]

I am not a virgin, but lets just say I haven't had sex in a LONG time, far longer than many people could handle. And the truth is I've found I really don't need it. Sure, I have the urges just like everyone else, but these urges are animal. I like having some sort of control over urges, because I see what sex leads to: drama, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.

 

In my beliefs, there are 3 types of desire: genital, heart, and mind. Genital desire is obviously sex and satisfying the reproductive organs. Desires of the heart are genuine love and a caring for others and a desire to help those in need. Desires of the mind, well those are the most difficult to obtain, enlightenment, finding truth, supreme intellect, things of that nature.

[meerkat stew]

I believe they are sacrificing a part of their human nature for a spiritual nature. It's a sacrifice of their nature for a a higher cause. They make sex a choice in this instance, but they are fully aware that they are sacrificing something.

 

Not what I asked. Are they starving a -need-, thus are they an incomplete human being in danger of perishing? or merely sublimating a desire? Big difference.

 

My understanding of a "need" is that it is something without which an organism will eventually perish, and a desire is something we may want fervently, or may bring us great happiness, but is not actually required for a complete, or even happy existence. Perhaps yours, and OPs understanding is different?

 

OP, yes I cut up lots here, but that's just the way I am and have always been, not some technique aped from a David DeAngelo book which I am aware of but have never read. I mean no ill will by it.

[Itzo]

I am not a virgin, but lets just say I haven't had sex in a LONG time, far longer than many people could handle. And the truth is I've found I really don't need it. Sure, I have the urges just like everyone else, but these urges are animal. I like having some sort of control over urges, because I see what sex leads to: drama, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.

 

In my beliefs, there are 3 types of desire: genital, heart, and mind. Genital desire is obviously sex and satisfying the reproductive organs. Desires of the heart are genuine love and a caring for others and a desire to help those in need. Desires of the mind, well those are the most difficult to obtain, enlightenment, finding truth, supreme intellect, things of that nature.

 

You are wrong with yourself.

Perhaps you cannot read well your internal drives ...

I will bold the sentances that do not sound right to me.

It is not that you do not NEED sex, it is because you do not WANT it. It seems like you are frustrated about sex for the following reasons: drama, unplanned pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.

 

You need sex, you may suppress your URGES, but you cannot eliminate them .. so why bother .. you are just creating anxiety, trying to resist upon those internal biological drives inside ya.

 

My advice: do not resist the urges ... it is like walking backwards ... moonwalk and M. Jackson it looks cool, but it is not the right way to walk anyway.

[Itzo]

OP, yes I cut up lots here, but that's just the way I am and have always been, not some technique aped from a David DeAngelo book which I am aware of but have never read. I mean no ill will by it.

 

It's cool ... showing your personality is cool ...

In fact, I admire David deAngelo, he's not some scam businessman who's after the money. His programs really help.

[Ms. Joolie]

So getting back to this.... I believe sex is a need. Why? Because every male and every female has sexual anatomy. We have a stomach because we need food. We have a brain, because we need to think. We have feet because we need to walk. We have sexual anatomy because we need to reproduce.

 

Sexual reproduction is a need. Sex is a need.

 

The sexual anatomy present in every human creature requires a certain usage, or a certain care, and most definitely has its effect on each one of us. Our sexuality is a force to be reckoned with. We need to address our sexuality.

 

Sexuality is just part of our nature, built into our bodies and part of life. Sex is a need.

 

However, just like the usage of our brains or feet or stomach, how we use our sexual self is a choice. What we desire sexually may be different from what we need sexually.

 

We desire sexual fulfillment but we don't absolutely need sexual fulfillment. The repression of our sexual self is not a part of our human nature, is not natural but is a personal choice, a personal decision to deny that part of self.

 

 

Sex is a need, and we desire sexual fulfillment.

[Ms. Joolie]

Are they starving a -need-, thus are they an incomplete human being in danger of perishing?

 

Sex is a need of humanity, that means that everyone of us has the need and responsibility of sex. Yes, they are starving a need. No they are not incomplete human beings in danger of perishing over starving this need, but there is most likely an effect from starving this need.

 

 

or merely sublimating a desire? Big difference.

 

They are sublimating their desire and their fulfillment, yes, but not denying the need to take some sort of action against their sexuality.

[Itzo]

So getting back to this.... I believe sex is a need. Why? Because every male and every female has sexual anatomy. We have a stomach because we need food. We have a brain, because we need to think. We have feet because we need to walk. We have sexual anatomy because we need to reproduce.

 

Sexual reproduction is a need. Sex is a need.

 

The sexual anatomy present in every human creature requires a certain usage, or a certain care, and most definitely has its effect on each one of us. Our sexuality is a force to be reckoned with. We need to address our sexuality.

 

Sexuality is just part of our nature, built into our bodies and part of life. Sex is a need.

 

However, just like the usage of our brains or feet or stomach, how we use our sexual self is a choice. What we desire sexually may be different from what we need sexually.

 

We desire sexual fulfillment but we don't absolutely need sexual fulfillment. The repression of our sexual self is not a part of our human nature, is not natural but is a personal choice, a personal decision to deny that part of self.

 

 

Sex is a need, and we desire sexual fulfillment.

 

Ok, I get it ... you do not have to repeat that "sex is a need" so many times hehe ... this is what I was saying earlier ... you are a good student . I'll not give you any grades now, but I'll just note you as a good participant in this session

 

Indeed, it is not natural to oppose human's natural inclinations, even though they might be sexual. Just like religion does it all the time.

 

If you are brainwashed religious person, you are programmed to have sex after you get married. So you do not have to lose your "flowers"

[gypsy_nicky]

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

 

its actually both

[Itzo]

its actually both

 

Clearly you do not know the difference between WANT and a NEED.

[gypsy_nicky]

Clearly you do not know the difference between WANT and a NEED.

 

clearly you think in terms of black and white

[Itzo]

clearly you think in terms of black and white

 

Why you think that is?

[gypsy_nicky]

Why you think that is?

 

because sex fulfills both those requirements for most of humanity.