Itzo Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Ok, I did not see many threads on Sex. So I want to hit really HARD on this one. Everyone NEEDS sex, I've read some posts on women who say "Sex is just a pleasure thing, but I do not need it." Really? In a relationship, SEX is 98% important to SUSTAIN healthy relationship. If a woman is not sexually satisfied by her partner, NO MATTER how much she "loves" him or respects him ... she will NO LONGER be attracted to that man ... because of the lack of sexual experience. So this is a really an important issue. So women ... do not give me this "I do not need sex, it is just for pleasure." Sex is as important as you require food, drink water & breathing air. So what happens to the other 2%? This is the romance, also material things like money & all external or tangible things. Sex is the real kicker that will unlock those feelings of intimacy & love. As far as I am concerned ... Most men are terrible in satisfying women, sexually. Why? Because of PORN!!! of course ... porn is not the real thing, it is set up in a way to make profit, it is a business. Yea .. the interactions are real, but the message these interactions send are wrong. If a man watches porn, it doesn't make him a GREAT lover. It is actually makes him worse lover, because of all wrong messages the porn industry makes, because THEY know sex is one of the basic needs & people in the business know how to push those emotional buttons in their buyers to make profit from sexual interactions that has nothing to do with the REAL ones.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Sex means different things. In my 20's it was a way to have an orgasm. Now, it's a meaningful thing I do with someone I love. Changed my view after being stung one too many times.
Author Itzo Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Sex means different things. In my 20's it was a way to have an orgasm. Now, it's a meaningful thing I do with someone I love. Changed my view after being stung one too many times. Yes, I can dig with this .... with age people produce less hormones, so they do not want sex, based on orgasms as much as before So they associate sex as something meaningful, like having kids. The highest kick of producing hormones are in the 20's, I believe ... so this is the time to be like a ROCK STAR hehe just kiddin'
greatgirlfriend Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Yes, I can dig with this .... with age people produce less hormones, so they do not want sex, based on orgasms as much as before So they associate sex as something meaningful, like having kids. The highest kick of producing hormones are in the 20's, I believe ... so this is the time to be like a ROCK STAR hehe just kiddin' I was wild with sex in my 20's. I had a lot of sex (both with guys I thought I was in relationships with and FWBs). Now I just want one man.
You'reasian Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Sex means different things. In my 20's it was a way to have an orgasm. Now, it's a meaningful thing I do with someone I love. Changed my view after being stung one too many times. I couldn't agree more, greatgirlfriend
Malenfant Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 maybe you dont see many threads on sex because you're not looking in the sex section of this forum? sex is great, but it can totally f*ck with your head
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Sex doesn't "do" anything to me...other than wonderful things... Men who are bad lovers are bad lovers either because they're selfish, or inexperienced. Or both. Sure porn is not the best "learning aid" as to how to please a woman but most people who are sexually experienced and giving, unselfish lovers realize that real life intimacy is not supposed to imitate porn. BF and I both watch porn in our downtime and we have amazing sex.
Author Itzo Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 maybe you dont see many threads on sex because you're not looking in the sex section of this forum? sex is great, but it can totally f*ck with your head Yeah, I missed that ... send me the links to your threads ... I would love to check them out maybe hit some feedback, you know
Author Itzo Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Sex doesn't "do" anything to me...other than wonderful things... Men who are bad lovers are bad lovers either because they're selfish, or inexperienced. Or both. Sure porn is not the best "learning aid" as to how to please a woman but most people who are sexually experienced and giving, unselfish lovers realize that real life intimacy is not supposed to imitate porn. BF and I both watch porn in our downtime and we have amazing sex. I couldn't agree more with your post. Thanks for sharing
Ms. Joolie Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I'm having a problem with sex just being sex these days. I WANT it to be about sexual excitement and passion and intimacy..... but the reality is that unless control/restraint is practiced, it's a baby-making duty. Sigh. In other words, I wish sex were just about the pleasure, excitement, intimacy and passion... but the biological purpose is about producing offspring. Something I don't want to do on an intellectual level. so difficult. Sex with the man I love is incredibly fulfilling, but frustrating at the same time because I want more, because I know there's more. It's as if my body wants to reproduce and can't be satisfied with just the deed alone. ....either that or I really do just want him to ejaculate inside of me. Total turn on. But I refuse birth control and refuse getting my tubes tied. We use condoms only. As a consequence of my old-fashioned mindedness, I see myself closer and closer to getting knocked up. Something I would otherwise choose not to do. ugh! Sex! What DOES it do to people!!! lol ~rant over. And have no idea if my rant is on topic.
You'reasian Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 ....either that or I really do just want him to ejaculate inside of me. Total turn on. But I refuse birth control and refuse getting my tubes tied. We use condoms only. As a consequence of my old-fashioned mindedness, I see myself closer and closer to getting knocked up. Something I would otherwise choose not to do. ugh! Sex! What DOES it do to people!!! lol ~rant over. And have no idea if my rant is on topic. Why do you refuse birth control?
Ms. Joolie Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I'm frustrated because sexually i want more and that makes me feel unsatisfied and then makes my partner feel unsatisfied!!! I'm not trying to get pregnant but damn the birth control! ~rant is really over. Was going to start a thread on this but had no idea what my question was. lol. Not other than..... what DOES sex do to people?!??
espec10001 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Correction: People don't NEED sex, they simply WANT it because it is pleasurable. Just like drugs, alcohol, and fast food. It feels good to do it, but you aren't going to keel over and die if you don't have it.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Why do you refuse birth control? I'm the type that won't take the pill because I don't trust putting that kind of chemical substance regularly in my body. I don't trust getting my tubes tied because it's just not natural. I have the belief that manipulating nature will come back around and kick my butt. I'm scared of f'ing with nature. shivers. Can't get my nature loving head around doing something so unnatural.
Crazy Magnet Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Interesting post. My BF and I discussed something similar this weekend. He said in his younger days (he's mid 30's) he tried the philosophy of "sex isn't that important." He said he wanted to be believe that if the girl was great in every other way, the fact that she didn't like sex wasn't a big deal and that the relationship was still worth having. At some point he changed his tune (thank god!!) and he realizes sex is just as important as the rest of it. I just found it weird that a man would ever think this way. He must have had some girls who straight up hated sex or were prudes or something. As a woman I definitely NEED sex. Although, I won't have ONS or random sex to get my needs met. I will wait for some type of relationship to come along. I'm very open sexually, but only in a relationship where I trust the other person and where there is mutual respect. Otherwise, it's getting freaky just for the sake of getting freaky, and I'm over those days.
meerkat stew Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Well the truth is that there are many women out there who flat out don't like sex. Everything is all fine and dandy until I get out the car antenna, or some of the livestock start kicking around when I try to get the lipstick on (this is so hard sometimes and do certain stuck up women appreciate it? hell no, I mean she puts on lipstick every blessed day and still won't help put the lipstick on the goat or even help hold it down). Women today just have too many inhibitions. "Oh no, if it runs on gasoline or so much power it blows fuses, I'm just not comfortable with that!" and other such privileged attitudes, as if they have never had anything inside them that runs at 6500 rpm They even get uptight about simple lingerie, and won't wear thongs I like, I mean -I'm- wearing the exact same thong, we have to match for me to get off, what makes you so special? Sure, pieces of it are still technically -alive- but that's such a copout.
Author Itzo Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Correction: People don't NEED sex, they simply WANT it because it is pleasurable. Just like drugs, alcohol, and fast food. It feels good to do it, but you aren't going to keel over and die if you don't have it. lol I am really enjoying this. Of course there is a difference between what you NEED and what you WANT. You may do not want something, but you need it. Example, PAIN ... you do not want it, but you need it to tell you the location of the pain in your body, so you can take care of it. You may NEED something, but you may do not WANT it. And this is SEX in your case. If you think that you can live without sex it means that you do not WANT it. But you NEED it!!! Have you heard before of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs? Look at the bottom of the pyramid (the psychological part) ... and YOU tell me, is SEX a NEED or a WANT? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs
meerkat stew Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Have you heard before of the Maslow's hierarchy of needs? Yes. Have heard of Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Cookie Monster too. There are exactly three human needs. Food, clothing, shelter. Everything else is a desire. Psychotherapy, the "talking method" at least, together with that entire branch of the social "sciences," is a huge scam, despite all the media, movie, tv attention it receives. You are better off geting therapy from a Magic 8 Ball.
Author Itzo Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I'm frustrated because sexually i want more and that makes me feel unsatisfied and then makes my partner feel unsatisfied!!! I'm not trying to get pregnant but damn the birth control! ~rant is really over. Was going to start a thread on this but had no idea what my question was. lol. Not other than..... what DOES sex do to people?!?? You might be a sex addict. I do not know ... But I can tell what sex does to people ... as I mentioned before SEX produces feeling of intimacy & love ... everything else beyond that is A WANT. It is a quite ambiguous combination when you WANT something AND you NEED it at the same time ... in fact, this is normal. When you get stimulated in the right way ... you just go WILD ... you can't just stop yourself. In your case, when you do not feel unsatisfied ... try to use different sexual variaties, like poses, different locations, have you tried that? Perhaps the problems come from your partner. He's not a good lover, and you feel that emotion inside you that he just can't associate with himself at that moment. Like grabining it and spinning it around until it explodes ... and then until the tension is released.
CLC2008 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I like it, it's good, but it can make you go cooky. Drive in my twenties was eh. I def see a difference from when I was in my twenties versus when I hit 30.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Sex is a desire. It's a desire for something that we need: to have love, to love and be loved. It's a closeness, an intimacy, a sort of sharing that we crave. Can we live without it? Yes. But the quality of life so deteriorates without love/sex/intimacy that whether or not it is a need is highly debatable.
Author Itzo Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Yes. Have heard of Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Cookie Monster too. There are exactly three human needs. Food, clothing, shelter. Everything else is a desire. Psychotherapy, the "talking method" at least, together with that entire branch of the social "sciences," is a huge scam, despite all the media, movie, tv attention it receives. You are better off geting therapy from a Magic 8 Ball. Sorry, but I do not share your reality! Thanks God!
Green Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I believe we create our own realities. We have our animal desires but we also have our human brains. Are we thinking ourselves into prisons. Sex is one of those things that needs to be done with moderation. For me the combonation of testostorone in my body and sex drive is the greatest drug. I really enjoy good sex more then anything but I run the risk of hurting myself in the long run. As of late I have decided to activly not think about sex and have stopped looking at all pornogrophy. I think quiting pornography is harder then quiting cigerettes. though I never smoked regularly so maybe I shouldn't speak.
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Well the truth is that there are many women out there who flat out don't like sex. Everything is all fine and dandy until I get out the car antenna, or some of the livestock start kicking around when I try to get the lipstick on (this is so hard sometimes and do certain stuck up women appreciate it? hell no, I mean she puts on lipstick every blessed day and still won't help put the lipstick on the goat or even help hold it down). Women today just have too many inhibitions. "Oh no, if it runs on gasoline or so much power it blows fuses, I'm just not comfortable with that!" and other such privileged attitudes, as if they have never had anything inside them that runs at 6500 rpm They even get uptight about simple lingerie, and won't wear thongs I like, I mean -I'm- wearing the exact same thong, we have to match for me to get off, what makes you so special? Sure, pieces of it are still technically -alive- but that's such a copout. LOL! :lmao:
Author Itzo Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Sex is a desire. It's a desire for something that we need: to have love, to love and be loved. It's a closeness, an intimacy, a sort of sharing that we crave. Can we live without it? Yes. But the quality of life so deteriorates without love/sex/intimacy that whether or not it is a need is highly debatable. What's the difference between desire and a need?
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