kiran Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I don't want him back, but I do want him to hurt. I've written it and debated with myself about sending. I will get some satisfaction out of it. Opinions? "I am so over it. Especially when I think about your new girlfriend, who pursued you because you remind her of Daddy; it’s all a game to her. It turns her on to be able to manipulate and control a man who is insecure about getting older with flattery and neediness (so easy!). She wants older men because it’s what she knows and when she f*s you, she’s thinking about Daddy and Uncle and getting back at them. And you, being insecure and craving attention, just can’t believe how ‘someone like her’ could ever want you. A girl (not a woman) who is either bipolar or has a Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s pathetic and you are so f*ing WEAK. I thought you were a better man than this. You should have killed yourself and saved me and the girls the horror of watching you do this to yourself and all of us."
HeavenOrHell Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Don't send it, it sounds bitter and jealous, you don't want him to know how much he has got to you do you? I don't think it would achieve anything. If he's treated you badly you're better off without him. If you really want someone to know how hurt YOU feel then there are ways of saying things which make people think and maybe feel remorse, but this e-mail is not it. I don't want him back, but I do want him to hurt. I've written it and debated with myself about sending. I will get some satisfaction out of it. Opinions? "I am so over it. Especially when I think about your new girlfriend, who pursued you because you remind her of Daddy; it’s all a game to her. It turns her on to be able to manipulate and control a man who is insecure about getting older with flattery and neediness (so easy!). She wants older men because it’s what she knows and when she f*s you, she’s thinking about Daddy and Uncle and getting back at them. And you, being insecure and craving attention, just can’t believe how ‘someone like her’ could ever want you. A girl (not a woman) who is either bipolar or has a Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s pathetic and you are so f*ing WEAK. I thought you were a better man than this. You should have killed yourself and saved me and the girls the horror of watching you do this to yourself and all of us."
Catseye8 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I vote 'No', in a big way. Maybe you'll get some satisfaction out of it in the short term, for about five minutes after hitting 'Send', but you'll get a lot more satisfaction in the long term by sending him nothing. Don't let him know he can get this reaction out of you. Besides, if you're right about this new girl, do you honestly want to warn him? Let him find out the hard way!
sunrae Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I don't want him back, but I do want him to hurt. I've written it and debated with myself about sending. I will get some satisfaction out of it. Opinions? "I am so over it. Especially when I think about your new girlfriend, who pursued you because you remind her of Daddy; it’s all a game to her. It turns her on to be able to manipulate and control a man who is insecure about getting older with flattery and neediness (so easy!). She wants older men because it’s what she knows and when she f*s you, she’s thinking about Daddy and Uncle and getting back at them. And you, being insecure and craving attention, just can’t believe how ‘someone like her’ could ever want you. A girl (not a woman) who is either bipolar or has a Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s pathetic and you are so f*ing WEAK. I thought you were a better man than this. You should have killed yourself and saved me and the girls the horror of watching you do this to yourself and all of us." What are you trying to get out of sending this email? Sounds a little crazy to me, to be totally honest.... Nothing is going to come of it other than making yourself sound "weak" because you cant let him go...
jwork313 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Don't send it. It makes you look bitter and will just make him feel better about the decision he made. Be strong. The best thing to do is ignore him. Take it from me. I wish I woudl have cut all ties with my ex the second she dumped me.
DustySaltus Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 My ex tried to destroy me and there were so many things I thought about doing....and in the end I did nothing. They didn't want to be part of my life anymore, so they aren't worth my keystrokes. I do believe in Karma and I'm telling you that once you send that letter it will exist forever. You may not regret it now, but in time you might. Why even take that chance. Take the letter, burn it (in a safe place) and forget about it along with any thoughts of him.
Ilovecake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I would not send it. If I received an email like that from my ex it would not hurt me it would make me even gladder to not be with my ex anymore. Like other people here said, it makes you sound obsessed and crazy and jealous. Save yourself some dignity and don't send it.
Ronni_W Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 kiran, I'm sorry that you're hurting so much. I have no doubt that you're right -- you will feel some satisfaction if/when you send it. But I'm guessing it will only be "some" and it won't be long-lived. I don't know if the long-term cost of sending it will be worthwhile for you -- only you can decide that. You mention "the girls" and I'm assuming those are your daughters. I would not want to give him anything that he can show to them, which would make you seem spiteful/vengeful. It's enough that they have to start seeing their Dad in a more accurate, albeit unflattering light. I am sending you strength and courage...to stay on the high road and live your life with integrity, according to your own values and the qualities that you want to role-model for the girls. Big hugs.
CrestfallenNoMore Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I know that, right now, sending this makes perfect sense, will make you feel AWESOME (at least, temporarily, and only if he reacts how you hope/expect him to) and that you've probably already gone ahead and done it and no amount of sane, cogent arguments can dissuade you, but I will say this. This is the kind of e-mail that, 6 months from now, you'll shake your head and moan to yourself about. You'll be having a drink, a smoke, or even just a nice bath or a be reading a good book when all of a sudden you'll remember that you sent this e-mail, fixate on it, and think to yourself "Oh my God...I can't believe I DID that. I sounded SO pathetic and I can't believe I ever thought it was a good idea." Please don't assign this moment to future self because you'll have it more than once and it is something you'll never think back fondly on.
sean1970 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 We know it hurts... really.... but that is waaaaaaay over the top... You have other things that are more important to concern yourself with... you and your girls...
bbrooke Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I agree... do not send it... I've written 5 or 6 letters to my ex It's great therapy for me to get all of it out, I send them to my Best Friend and she reads them, it just makes me feel better that "somebody" is reading them. My theory is that everything i've put on paper, he already knows and is feeling bad about it.. at least that's what i'm sticking to. Don't give him any ammunition in the future and the best thing to do is hold your head up high and move on!
Author kiran Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I haven't sent it and I won't. All of your replies have "talked me down" and I appreciate the clear-headed responses; especially when I am not thinking clearly and feel like I'm going insane. I know it takes time, but geez. Thanks again!
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