DustySaltus Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 My current gf and I have been dating exclusively for a little over a month now. Before this, I was dating numerous women including a very attractive cuban girl who was just a little too quiet for my taste. Anyway, I remember speaking with her about taking a dance class as she said she was a very good salsa and merengue dancer. Got a random text from her the other day after about 3 weeks of NC on her end (I have spoke with her in 6 weeks) asking me if I wanted to join her for a dance class this week. It's on Wednesday nights and my gf cannot make it. Again, this girl is very attractive but I'm just going with her as a friend. Of course deep down I think that men and women cannot be friends, but that's a different story all together. Should I let my gf know? Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all.......thoughts?
counterman Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Definitely let your girlfriend know and see if she is okay with it. If you are genuinely interested in having salsa lessons then go for it. Also let the other girl know that you are in a relationship.
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 1. Going to these dance classes with this other girl would be an egregious error on your part. 2. If you insist on deluding yourself, yes, you should tell your gf. Why WOULDN'T you tell her? That's just shady.
counterman Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Oh! I forgot that you have dated her. Sorry about that. I don't think it is a good idea. OnlyJake, I've learnt a new word! Guess which one? LOL
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Oh! I forgot that you have dated her. Sorry about that. I don't think it is a good idea. OnlyJake, I've learnt a new word! Guess which one? LOL Ah, expanding young minds everywhere.... Even if they hadn't dated, I kind of think this situation is asking for trouble in the new relationship....OP I'm a little disappointed that you would even ask if you should tell your gf!!!
Author DustySaltus Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 1. Going to these dance classes with this other girl would be an egregious error on your part. 2. If you insist on deluding yourself, yes, you should tell your gf. Why WOULDN'T you tell her? That's just shady. I would let the girl know that I have a GF. I'm all about letting everything be known. The only reason why I wouldn't tell her is because she seems like she can be a very jealous person. Again, I'll be honest. I just don't want to deal with drama.
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I would let the girl know that I have a GF. I'm all about letting everything be known. The only reason why I wouldn't tell her is because she seems like she can be a very jealous person. Again, I'll be honest. I just don't want to deal with drama. ...... ....so you would lie to your girlfriend in order to save yourself some trouble? Do you really think that sounds like a good way to start a relationship? Since you're in a relationship with someone else, going to these dance classes isn't even something you should be doing.
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I would let the girl know that I have a GF. I'm all about letting everything be known. The only reason why I wouldn't tell her is because she seems like she can be a very jealous person. Again, I'll be honest. I just don't want to deal with drama. This isn't something you should be doing. You know that. The only way to save yourself needless "drama" is to not go. Then you don't need to tell your gf anything, and everyone's happy. And YOU get to be happy that you acted like a man and showed your gf some respect.
Author DustySaltus Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 ...... ....so you would lie to your girlfriend in order to save yourself some trouble? Do you really think that sounds like a good way to start a relationship? Since you're in a relationship with someone else, going to these dance classes isn't even something you should be doing. I'm not lying, i'm just thinking not saying anything. I've been completely honest with people and that backfired as well. My dance partner would know that this is just strictly a platonic thing.
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I'm not lying, i'm just thinking not saying anything. I've been completely honest with people and that backfired as well. My dance partner would know that this is just strictly a platonic thing. OK, so you're thinking about lying! Who gives a **** about your dance partner?!?! I care about your girlfriend and your relationship, as should you.
counterman Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Keeping this from your girlfriend is dishonest and only to save yourself some drama. I agree, your relationship is more important.
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 If you really want to go salsa dancing, find another class on a night when your gf can go with you. Don't you live someplace urban? There's definitely more than one class available in your area.
Author DustySaltus Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I think I am a little bit jaded because of my past. I've told the truth about things and it gets thrown back in my face. I say nothing and i'm a liar. Either way I can't win.
Dark_of_the_Moon Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 *hugs* Dusty, do tell your gf that you have the invite. Nothing wrong with that. Do tell the Salsa girl that you have a GF now. Yes you can get burned telling the truth, but it is still the right thing to do at all times. You cant control how others chose to react. Its for yourself you do these things!!! Too bad your GF cant do the Salsa class, its a great way to date! Good luck my friend.
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I think I am a little bit jaded because of my past. I've told the truth about things and it gets thrown back in my face. I say nothing and i'm a liar. Either way I can't win. What kinds of things have you told the truth about, that got thrown back in your face? Just because you tell the truth doesn't mean you can do anything you want.... I had a boyfriend who thought way, come to think of it.
ella23 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I think I am a little bit jaded because of my past. I've told the truth about things and it gets thrown back in my face. I say nothing and i'm a liar. Either way I can't win. In this case you should definitely tell your girlfriend.
hoping2heal Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 My current gf and I have been dating exclusively for a little over a month now. Before this, I was dating numerous women including a very attractive cuban girl who was just a little too quiet for my taste. Anyway, I remember speaking with her about taking a dance class as she said she was a very good salsa and merengue dancer. Got a random text from her the other day after about 3 weeks of NC on her end (I have spoke with her in 6 weeks) asking me if I wanted to join her for a dance class this week. It's on Wednesday nights and my gf cannot make it. Again, this girl is very attractive but I'm just going with her as a friend. Of course deep down I think that men and women cannot be friends, but that's a different story all together. Should I let my gf know? Maybe this isn't such a good idea after all.......thoughts? Now it of course depends...but doing anything alone with an attractive woman is a no no dusty . That would piss anyone off . Dancing can be sexual or romantic..but it's about two bodies coming together and well..I don't think it's a good idea BUT maybe yours would be okay with it..so just ask her first and if she's cool about it..then go ahead.
Author DustySaltus Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 What kinds of things have you told the truth about, that got thrown back in your face? Just because you tell the truth doesn't mean you can do anything you want.... I had a boyfriend who thought way, come to think of it. Just about mistakes I've made in the past and flaws I needed to work on. I don't think I can do anything I want. I'm just weighing the options at this moment.
hoping2heal Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I would let the girl know that I have a GF. I'm all about letting everything be known. The only reason why I wouldn't tell her is because she seems like she can be a very jealous person. Again, I'll be honest. I just don't want to deal with drama. really? REALLY? You DON'T want to deal with drama..so you decide you will take out an attractive woman you have dated before..and go to a sexually charged, physical activity with her. While you already have a girlfriend but yet..you don't like drama?
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Just about mistakes I've made in the past and flaws I needed to work on. I don't think I can do anything I want. I'm just weighing the options at this moment. The fact that you're even considering this scenario leads me to believe that you didn't learn much from your past mistakes, whatever those may have been. To be blunt, you're being very selfish, OP. really? REALLY? You DON'T want to deal with drama..so you decide you will take out an attractive woman you have dated before..and go to a sexually charged, physical activity with her. While you already have a girlfriend but yet..you don't like drama? Nicely put!
Author DustySaltus Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 really? REALLY? You DON'T want to deal with drama..so you decide you will take out an attractive woman you have dated before..and go to a sexually charged, physical activity with her. While you already have a girlfriend but yet..you don't like drama? H2H, I haven't made any decision yet. That's why I'm asking for advice. I'm just weighing everything and I think you're right...I'm going to take a pass.
Author DustySaltus Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 The fact that you're even considering this scenario leads me to believe that you didn't learn much from your past mistakes, whatever those may have been. To be blunt, you're being very selfish, OP. If only you knew how far I've come.
meerkat stew Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Dating exclusively, anything you do alone with the opposite sex needs to be disclosed. Do a shoe on the other foot, would you be comfortable with your GF having a dance night date with some hot Cuban dude she had recently dated without mentioning it? Even if you are, there's about a 0% chance your GF will be accepting of this, and she will be right. You know the answer already here, why are you even asking?
OnlyJake Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 If only you knew how far I've come. Haven't we all! I know I had to make a ton of mistakes and go through a lot of self-reflection to get where I am today...and I still have things to work on
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