someone89 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I'm a girl, 20 years old, haven't been in a relationship, even once in my life. I don't think of myself as an unattractive girl, many people said that i'm pretty. Many guys like me, but never gets into action, they just see me from faraway and smile, as if they scared of me. I don't know what's wrong with me and what should i do. I feel lonely. I just need someone that's honest with their feeling to me and brave enough to confess it So what do you think i should do now?
counterman Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 There is nothing wrong with you. If someone does not have the courage to go up to you and just talk to you then it's their loss. I don't see how not even one of those guys who like you can ask you out. Maybe what you could do is try to talk to them. Sometimes you have to take initiative to get what you want. Is there anyone you're interested in currently?
Satisfaction Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 You could try doing an activity that gets you interacting with other people especially guys. Sports are a good option. sometimes people are slightly intimidated by you but when they see you in a setting that they can interact with you then it takes away that original awkwardness. Be aware of guys who are just out there so they can boast how many girls they have slept with. You will be able to spot them after a while. Also the benefit of interacting in a group is you can ask around about their reputation. Saves you hours of having to wait it out to see if words match actions. I have had to do this so much and trust me for ever frustrated moment you wait, you will thank your stars that you did. Hopefully though you will meet someone straight away and you will never experience the things of which I speak. Keep your chin up. Once you all nicely settled in you may be shocked to find you yearn for the days when you didn't have to give one person so much of your time.
Meaplus3 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I'm a girl, 20 years old, haven't been in a relationship, even once in my life. I don't think of myself as an unattractive girl, many people said that i'm pretty. Many guys like me, but never gets into action, they just see me from faraway and smile, as if they scared of me. I don't know what's wrong with me and what should i do. I feel lonely. I just need someone that's honest with their feeling to me and brave enough to confess it So what do you think i should do now? What should you do now? Have faith in yourself as a person.. and love yourself for your special qualities and become at peace with yourself. This it will make it much easier for you to enter a relationship. Good luck. Mea;)
Author someone89 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 thank you for all your advices, really appreciate it counterman: yes, actually i'm interested in someone, but rarely can meet him. we just chatting online, but he's kinda quiet, so i'm the one who always ask questions, i'm afraid he doesn't like it because i talk too much :] satisfaction: exactly, that's the way i should say it, most guys are intimidated by me, they're not even trying :[ meaplus3: thank you <3
counterman Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 That's such a shame that guys are intimidated by you and don't even try. I understand where they are coming from though. Going up to an attractive girl and talking to her is alone a daunting prospect for some without asking her out. Some really do fear rejection. You would want someone who is not afraid of approaching you. I agree with satisfaction. Any activity that gets you interacting with guys is good. Maybe some mixed tennis social competition? Whatever it is, go for it. I think the environment would be very fun and lets you talk to them whilst they are less intimidated (because they share an interest with you). As for the guy you are interested in, it is difficult to establish something from chatting online. Since meeting him is a rare, it would be hard to have something with him anyways. Conversations should be both ways, so if you are asking all the questions, that's a problem. I know of quiet guys who would ask about a girl to her if they were interested. Maybe this might be a little frustrating for you, I don't know. I think I understand where you are coming from when you want someone who can just be honest with you about how they feel and ask you out. Just trust yourself and be true to who you are. When guys smile at you and you're interested, smile back and wave. I'm sure someone you will be interested in will approach you.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 It sounds as if you are not approachable, actually. Is there something getting in the way of men approaching you and having conversation? Maybe you are giving off the vibe of unfriendliness or you are too busy and not exactly open and available for guys to approach you. But definitely you sound like a pretty girl who somehow got separated from the mix and mingle of a crowd. Don't know. Just strikes me this way. Once you get involved in a crowd, once you jump in the social scene and start having fun, start getting involved, start having real conversations, start showing up and sharing who you are.... THEN guys will be interested enough to want more, to want to ask you out, to want to see you and get to know you.
Ms. Joolie Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I'm a girl, 20 years old, haven't been in a relationship, even once in my life. And don't worry about being 20 and not having had a romantic relationship yet. You are at such a good age to begin considering these things and working on that area of your life. In fact, you may be ahead of the crowd if you do so. Many people wait until much later in life to begin having real relationships.....
boogieboy Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Start getting in the habit of going for what you want. You will have to get used to rejection, but it will be nothing once you dont take it personally or seriously. You see a guy looking at you, go say something to him. If you dont, you might be waiting for some guy to come to you for a looong time. So it depends on how long you want to be lonely. Plus, no guy who knows what hes doing will confess his feelings to you, guys know that the way to ruin a womans attraction. maybe not you, but other women. So they wont do it. The guy online isnt into you, thats why he isnt talking too much. Dont waste your time with him. Move on and be proactive with the next guy, hopefully he will talk more.
Author someone89 Posted February 2, 2010 Author Posted February 2, 2010 i love this site, people here are mature, and give great advices counterman: yes, maybe some guys fear rejection, i understand that. and don't worry about that guy, i know life must go on, and i don't want to waste my time with him Ms. Joolie: wow, i'm amazed, you analize my problem really well. But i'm not unfriendly kind of girl XD But definitely you sound like a pretty girl who somehow got separated from the mix and mingle of a crowd.That sounds more like me, maybe because i'm studying abroad currently, it's been almost 1 and a half year boogieman: yeah, i don't really care about that guy anyway
counterman Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 (edited) Yeah, I think Ms Joolie put it right. I was thinking along those lines. Those social events, such birthday parties (there should be a lot of 21st birthdays), are a must. Don't be afraid to approach guys yourself too. Not to hit on them or anything just to show a friendly side of you and break down any intimidation they might have. Being a pretty girl, you will make a guy so happy just by saying hello. Edited February 2, 2010 by counterman
Itzo Posted February 2, 2010 Posted February 2, 2010 I'm a girl, 20 years old, haven't been in a relationship, even once in my life. I don't think of myself as an unattractive girl, many people said that i'm pretty. Many guys like me, but never gets into action, they just see me from faraway and smile, as if they scared of me. I don't know what's wrong with me and what should i do. I feel lonely. I just need someone that's honest with their feeling to me and brave enough to confess it So what do you think i should do now? Will you share your childhood experience? Have you had any emotional abuses in the past? Actually everyone does, but this might be a result of unpleasant past experience. On another hand ... Well, if you are HOT and attractive, most men who are insecured about themselves they are keeping distance from attractive women, because of their own issues.
Author someone89 Posted February 3, 2010 Author Posted February 3, 2010 I never had any emotional abuses in the past I grew up in a loving family..
broncosfrk83 Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 There must be something that you are giving off that others are picking up on....Im 19 and have had similar problems. ive had people tell me that i can come off as rude because im shy, i dont talk much when approached cause im really nervous. Sound like a pretty girl but cant quite make that decision without seeing you..
mortensorchid Posted February 3, 2010 Posted February 3, 2010 Women in general think that there is something wrong with them if they don't get the attention or things they want from men. I guess we have a certain insecurity about ourselves, and we have nothing that will reinforce that there is, in fact, nothing wrong with us. Guys in general do not, because they have a buddy system. The guy could be obnoxious, rude and have enough hair on his body that he is nicknamed King Kong, but their guy friends will rally around him and say "She wants you, man!". Hence men have more self confidence than women do in this area. You must not think that there is something wrong with you, or that everyone else is wrong somehow. That's not the case. Self esteem is a difficult thing no matter who you are.
Author someone89 Posted February 10, 2010 Author Posted February 10, 2010 broncosfrk83: you want to see me? lol.. just kidding i'm a little bit shy though when meeting new people, but it depends too
Recommended Posts