almostpassedit Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 (edited) Here is what I know: I have been NC 2 years now or 22 months. During this NC, I broke it ONCE about 17 months ago via TEXT message while I was drunk Ex was cheating on me for about 6 months before I found out. I believe she was using me for money. During this six month period I was away for 3 of those months, I remember having sex with her twice during this period. I remember her acting really strange and being distant. I believe she was buying time to build up her relationship while keeping me on the back-burner. I believe she fell in love and once that happen she became confuse with “I don’t know lines” Prior to this, she wanted a commitment. After I was informed via her BEST FRIEND, I attempted to break up with her but I couldn’t, she was forcing me to talk to her, I believe she wanted to keep the Job I had given her as she did nothing but was given money. Eventually I fired her and that’s when she told me to **** Off and basically said allot of hurt full things. At the same time I was no nice guy, I let her have it, I saw in her eyes she was hurt. She looked like she wanted to go in a corner and cry but she did not show it to me, I just knew as I knew her. I think she wanted to appear strong, when in reality she was broken like me. It ended in flames. ----- That was 2 years ago. Recently, the EX was been making subliminal facebook comments indicating she wanted to talk. I was the one who set up her account. She knows I was looking at her profile. I thought about it for a few days and I just blocked her via Privacy Settings. It was my way of saying “NO, I will never contact you” For a long time, I would check up on her profile, every few months, hoping to see a picture of her or find out she’s alive as I always worried about her. Once she did the face book contact thing, its like that all went away and I no longer felt responsible. ---- I don’t know the reason why I am making this post. I will never contact her. I changed my number and moved to a new city so I know she can never find me. I blocked her on facebook, her friends as well and deleted my myspace. I blocked her email and deleted all pictures. I threw away everything of hers, panties, shirts, socks, lip-gloss, everything. I kept finding items around my apartment for a few months after she left. I have nothing left of it, not even one picture. --- That’s my Story. Hopefully I won’t run into that particular female again in my future. Its strange though, I had nothing but love for her and now I find myself actively blocking/erasing all reminders that she existed. Its almost as if I am deleting her from my Brain and Memories. I think in time, I won't remember her at all. I feel as if I've come full circle. I feel as if I let her shatter my world and now I've rebuilt it. It is less than it was before but it is whole again. I feel like now I can go forward stronger, smarter and wiser. I think that relationship was a good learning experience, despite the trauma it caused. Edited February 1, 2010 by almostpassedit
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