meerkat stew Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean she shows you her true side after three months? I know when I was younger the 3 month mark was a serious milestone. Now, I'd say 6 months to a year. They tend to develop this rabid insecurity where they are constantly asking me what's wrong? Are you getting tired of me? You aren't as "into" us as I think you should be. Plus all the immature phone and text games where if I don't return a text in an hour, "are you mad at me?" "I feel like something's wrong" THESE ARE 35-45 Y.O. WOMEN, not high school girls. Now if I were being standoffish would understand, but this crap happens while we are seeing each other 2-3 times a week, I am taking them out on fun dates, doing them right in bed several times a week, giving them inexpensive little gifts, we are having fun together, and STILL the insecurity. After I tell them to stop it a couple of times, they usually stir up a fake fight to try to get a reaction and I break up with them. Don't know if this is a commentary on net dating women, the state of women in my range generally, or just bad luck, but I sure as hell am not getting married any time soon.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 They tend to develop this rabid insecurity where they are constantly asking me what's wrong? Are you getting tired of me? You aren't as "into" us as I think you should be. Plus all the immature phone and text games where if I don't return a text in an hour, "are you mad at me?" "I feel like something's wrong" THESE ARE 35-45 Y.O. WOMEN, not high school girls. Now if I were being standoffish would understand, but this crap happens while we are seeing each other 2-3 times a week, I am taking them out on fun dates, doing them right in bed several times a week, giving them inexpensive little gifts, we are having fun together, and STILL the insecurity. After I tell them to stop it a couple of times, they usually stir up a fake fight to try to get a reaction and I break up with them. Don't know if this is a commentary on net dating women, the state of women in my range generally, or just bad luck, but I sure as hell am not getting married any time soon. Women in general are insecure. As confident as I am, I'm a little nervous when I date a guy. Even the current guy, first he says we are boyfriend/girlfriend then he says we are good friends, and that makes me worry (though I know it means nothing).
meerkat stew Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Women in general are insecure. As confident as I am, I'm a little nervous when I date a guy. Even the current guy, first he says we are boyfriend/girlfriend then he says we are good friends, and that makes me worry (though I know it means nothing). What is he -showing- you though? With his actions? Is he treating you well? Interested in your daily life? Wanting to involve you in his? Do you laugh lots when together? In a man's mind, well mine anyway, those are the real important things, whether you can hang out together in harmony. We understand about the insecurity, but we also expect a little bit of "cool" factor to keep it under wraps. Guess I get insulted when I feel I'm being a good BF and still get all the insecurity. We could have just laughed our butts off at something or had a wall rocking sex session a few hours earlier, and here it comes again, "Are you OK?" "Am I boring you?" GAAAAHHHH! :laugh: EDIT: Oh, BTW, not talking about just one woman, it's been FIVE in a row like this.
greatgirlfriend Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 What is he -showing- you though? With his actions? Is he treating you well? Interested in your daily life? Wanting to involve you in his? Do you laugh lots when together? In a man's mind, well mine anyway, those are the real important things, whether you can hang out together in harmony. We understand about the insecurity, but we also expect a little bit of "cool" factor to keep it under wraps. Guess I get insulted when I feel I'm being a good BF and still get all the insecurity. We could have just laughed our butts off at something or had a wall rocking sex session a few hours earlier, and here it comes again, "Are you OK?" "Am I boring you?" GAAAAHHHH! :laugh: EDIT: Oh, BTW, not talking about just one woman, it's been FIVE in a row like this. So far, yes to the above but then he gets weird. When we talk on the phone is when he asks a lot of questions about views, etc. He's having problems openng up though and that's my major issue with him. I hope in time he will.
OndaChin Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Men, what are the deal breakers for casual dating? What is the latest date for the first kiss and the first sex? For example, if a casual girl does not do the first kiss on the 3d date, it is a deal breaker. For example, if a casual girl does not have intercourse with a man on the 6th date, it is a deal breaker. Number one deal breaker: "No Chin Action"
MyNameIsJonas Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 The only real "physical" dealbreaker is if we haven't had a substantial kiss by the second date, then I normally fade out of her life. I give the girl the benefit of the doubt on the first date because of nervousness or whatever, but if her ice shield is still up by date 2, then it's not worth my time. I don't really assign a cutoff point with sex; if anything I have a reverse cutoff with sex. If she wants sex by the first 1-3 dates, I consider it a cutoff point for serious dating and move her to FWB status. I figure if she is that willing to get that physical that early, then I'm not first guy where she's felt that way. My deal-breakers more surround statements and/or actions made by the woman on the first couple dates. I don't have a set list, but recent dealbreakers have included: - Telling me that she would move in with her mother if she asked before the first date (online dating) - Not really providing a solid answer when I ask about her 3-5 year plan. Call me picky, but I feel at this point in our lives (mid to late 20s) you should have some internal guidance. - Stating, with a straight face, that having a CPA license "isn't that impressive." - Flakiness. If I call a woman after the first date and she doesn't get back to me to some degree in roughly 24 hours, I cut and run regardless of her response/excuse later down the line. If she was actually interested, she wouldn't be "too busy" for a quick 10 second text to acknowledge my call.
EM47 Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 "Not really providing a solid answer when I ask about her 3-5 year plan. Call me picky, but I feel at this point in our lives (mid to late 20s) you should have some internal guidance" This being a deal breaker is garbage imo. I have no 3-5 year plan in my mid to late 20s and am one of the more successful guys in my group of peers. I would almost be more concerned with the woman who thinks she has it all figured out. Sometimes the most fun and interesting people are the ones who don't exactly know what they want to do "when they grow up" but are still successful and having fun in the meantime. I mean I don't know if I will be here working in 5 years or living on a beach in Hawaii...I find the unknown and unplanned exciting...
Satisfaction Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 Same here. I never sleep with a guy until we are officially a couple (which could take months). I am astounded by the guys here saying they sleep with girls on the third date or they dump her. I wonder if many of them are just lying and in reality have never had sex (and live in their parents basement). Yea me too! I wonder as well about the kind of sex they are having. Must be really poor quality.
skydiveaddict Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 (edited) Men, what are the deal breakers for casual dating? Ok I've already posted this before but here we go: deal breakers : is taller than me refuses to do what i say is not totally hot looking is ugly is one of those girls who holds the stop signs on road construction projects does construction work of any kind is a truck driver is not wild in the bedroom is too wild in the bedroom tries to tell me what to do tries to 'dress" me will not put out after the 2nd date will not use dental floss wears conservative, ugly underwear will not get breast implants if i tell her she needs them buys me an electric shaver for christmas buys me any kind appliance for christmas chews tabacco will not do oral trys to take me shopping tells me i watch too much football tells me she doesn't want me skydiving anymore if she belches if she complains when i belch tries to make me watch movies like "sleepless in seattle" tries to make me watch any kind of movie tries to send me to the store to rent a movie tries to send me to the store for anything tries to make me do anything, actually will not go to the store for me when i need some thing Edited February 5, 2010 by skydiveaddict
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