Author yasmina1706 Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 Humm.. how do you know what others are imagining.. really... how old are you? you sound awfully young... you need to grow thicker skin or you'll be extremely miserable.. You have NOOOOO control over what others imagine or fantasize or think... If I were you.. I wouldn't NOT bother him with that.. he might be very upset that you snooped.. and methink it will be a huge turn-off that you are sooo inscure and controlling.. You need to change .. not him.. Yes I am quite young... quite a bit younger than La Lohan actually! But I know I have no control over it, don't want to either, why would you want a relationship where you tell people what to see? - it just bothers me in the abstract, that I see it a certain way and he (and others it seems) don't.
Lizzie60 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Yes I am quite young... quite a bit younger than La Lohan actually! But I know I have no control over it, don't want to either, why would you want a relationship where you tell people what to see? - it just bothers me in the abstract, that I see it a certain way and he (and others it seems) don't. Trust me Yasmina... you need to have a serious talk with 'yourself'... I know how you feel.. I was young once too.. and extremely jealous.. I was very miserable.. I didn't want my bf to think of anyone BUT me.. it is not easy to do.. but you can do it... remember he's with you for a reason.. he likes you more than the other girls.. Stop thinking about what he's thinking... stop snooping if it hurts you.. honestly.. you're not doing yourself a favour here.. you need to learn how to deal with YOUR emotions.. You also need to work on your self-esteem and your confidence.. Confidence is the most sexy quality a woman (or man) can have..
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Tell him how you feel, but don't bring up the 'browser history' thing. All he will do is turn it into an argument about how you violated his privacy and will ignore the real problem. Just tell him that you are hurt that he looks at/thinks of other women. It doesn't matter how you know, just tell him that you do know and leave it at that, and request to talk about that and not how 'you know'. He will probably be exasperated (because he likely does not share your values when it comes to that) but perhaps he will compromise and try to do something to make the situation better. Like be more discreet.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Am I being unfair about this? Am I wrong to think like this? Yes, of course. (him looking at particular naked celebrities is no different than you swooning over People Magazine's 100 Sexiest Men issue)
Citizen Erased Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I am just disappointed a guy would choose Lyndsey Lohan when there are som many better alternatives. Exactly my thinking.
RobM Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Did I miss something, how do you know he's masturbating to the pics, I see naked pics all the time, sometimes of celebs, it can be as harmless as just being curious to what they look like, 99.9% of the time I don't masturbate to naked pics I see.
Trimmer Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Actually I don't mind if he watches porn, actually I do too and we sometimes discuss it together - the difference is that with porn, you're not imagining yourself having sex that person What? If I could make the Scooby Doo sound in writing, I'd say "Hunnnnhhh?"
jenifer1972 Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 I know how you feel. I was really ticked when I found out my husband did a search on that stupid female sportscaster who was caught naked in the hotel peep hole, (can't remember her name). It seems more DELIBERATE than generic porn. But it seems that is what men do. They see a pretty woman, and then imagine her NAKED. Ughh! Like you, I don't fantasize about others, I am only interested in my husband. DON'T bring up that you looked at his browser history. Won't get you anywhere. Just be glad it was as another poster said, something as benign as what you saw.
BobSacamento Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 whoa whoa whoa whoa....what celebrities?
pantherj Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Looking at fake or real nude pictures of Lohan doesn't mean he is masterbating to them. For whatever reason, some women seem to think that if a man looks at a naked women, then it's only to masterbate. Men sometimes will look at nude women without masterbating. If you're surprized by what I just said, then you're probably a woman with limited experience with men. All men know this to be true. You will not change your bfs habit of looking at other nude women. If you say "I'm breaking up with you if you don't stop", then he will either break up with you, or hide it from you. And for heaven sake, don't try to include yourself by looking at Lohan with him. Part of what he finds exciting about Lohan is that she isn't you, and has nothing to do with you. Why? Because men need variety, even if it's just the illusion of variety. Your bf, in time, will most likely grow bored with Lohan, and find a different girl to look at. And I'm sure you'll find the new girl in the history folder.
Author yasmina1706 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 I only read the opening post... so this could have been already said.. You are jealous of his fantasy... yooohooooo.... there is absolutely nothing you can do about his fantasies.. you just happened to find out about them... A lot of men do have those fantasies.. never talk about them.. and chances are... women never find out.. Imagine BEFORE the era of the Internet.. men had those fantasies.. but women just could NEVER find out.. there was just NO way to find out.. (unless of course he spent lots of money on magazine or films). I'm sorry but I'm afraid there is not much you can do about it... even if you confront him.. and let's say, he stops... he will still have those fantasies in his mind.. and there is nothing you can do about it... Just stop stressing over something you have no control over.. it's not like he's going to meet her tomorrow.. Thank you Lizie60, I do see what you mean and am trying to put it into practise. Thank you also to Kamille for a reasoned answer - you were right, I was in 'reaction mode' and feel much better now.
Author yasmina1706 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 I know how you feel. I was really ticked when I found out my husband did a search on that stupid female sportscaster who was caught naked in the hotel peep hole, (can't remember her name). It seems more DELIBERATE than generic porn. But it seems that is what men do. They see a pretty woman, and then imagine her NAKED. Ughh! Like you, I don't fantasize about others, I am only interested in my husband. DON'T bring up that you looked at his browser history. Won't get you anywhere. Just be glad it was as another poster said, something as benign as what you saw. Thank you, this is exactly the reason why it bothered me ... it was deliberate! You phrased it better than I could in half as many words. But, as you say, it was benign, and I do know that he loves me and so should be pretty happy with that
Author yasmina1706 Posted February 4, 2010 Author Posted February 4, 2010 Looking at fake or real nude pictures of Lohan doesn't mean he is masterbating to them. For whatever reason, some women seem to think that if a man looks at a naked women, then it's only to masterbate. Men sometimes will look at nude women without masterbating. If you're surprized by what I just said, then you're probably a woman with limited experience with men. All men know this to be true. You will not change your bfs habit of looking at other nude women. If you say "I'm breaking up with you if you don't stop", then he will either break up with you, or hide it from you. And for heaven sake, don't try to include yourself by looking at Lohan with him. Part of what he finds exciting about Lohan is that she isn't you, and has nothing to do with you. Why? Because men need variety, even if it's just the illusion of variety. Your bf, in time, will most likely grow bored with Lohan, and find a different girl to look at. And I'm sure you'll find the new girl in the history folder. Hey! I would never give him a break-up ultimatum like that, poor guy... I was kind of at fault too for looking at his history, and there's no way I'll be doing that again even if I have to sit on my hands when he leaves me alone with the computer
pantherj Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 Hey! I would never give him a break-up ultimatum like that, poor guy... I was kind of at fault too for looking at his history, and there's no way I'll be doing that again even if I have to sit on my hands when he leaves me alone with the computer Yeah don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. But I'm almost certain you will look in the history folder again. I'd bet money on it.
Malenfant Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 dont worry, you'll get over it. its part of being young and needing your partner to only find you attractive. Of course, i only want my H to really fancy me, but we all just have to accept the fact that there are lots of people in the world, and some of them are very nice to look at. Its not personal, and it doesnt detract from how much he finds you attractive. I know you said you never fantasise about other men, but there must be men who you consider to be handsome. you know its just a visual thing cos they are nice looking. Would you be ashamed if your BF found out that you think another man has a nice face or a good body? Probably not, because you know that level of attraction is completely harmless, and no reflection on your attraction or happiness with your BF's face or body. it is the same for your BF. One day you'll face problems in relationships that will make you wish you only had this to worry about.
Jersey Shortie Posted February 4, 2010 Posted February 4, 2010 No you are not wrong to think like you do. I pesronally don't get seperating celebrities from porn. Girls in porn are just as real as celebrities. It's perfectly understandable why a woman would feel distance and in turn, want to distance herself from a guy that clearly has his heads in the clouds for other women. This is the same problem that happens time and time again. You need to talk to him about it. Otherwise, you are just going to resent him for it. Which clearly has already started since you want to withdrawl the level of intimacy you have with him by making him deleate the nude pictures of you. Totally understandable and natural response. Men can't have it both ways even if they think they deserve it. You can't expect your girl to feel close to you and like she should be more giving of herself to you if your always on the hunt for everything she isn't. Not fair to the ladies "Gentlemen". I must say, I love when men say that compromise needs to be made but the only compromise they want is to keep looking at the porn and telling the gf to spread her legs more often on command when the boyfriend needs it and to basically keep her mouth shut because it doesn't matter what she wants. He wants the porn. That's all that matters.
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