Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 But, this is indicative of a far more serious problem than just ill-advised choice of what she put into her on line profile. This bi weekly manicure issue probably goes to the heart of some pretty serious emotional and personal issues she has which not only have not been resolved; but which she doesn't even want to admit exist. A sense of unearned entitlement certainly is conveyed from her entire profile, as well as some of the comments she has made in her thread. Blaming her ex husband's supposedly being a "miser" is also a pretty big clue. Not: "We disagreed about money," but: "My ex was a MISER." I'd suspect that the REAL reason she got divorced with two children in her 30's and an unspectacular career was that she probably cheated on her ex, and got caught. (It's conceivable that her ex cheated on her, but I think she would have told us that already rather than focusing on his "miserly ways.") She was getting bored of her life, bored of her job (which is why she switched careers), bored of her "miserly" husband Ebeneezer Scrooge; tired of doing most of the work to raise the children. Cheaters often have the sense of entitlement that she's displayed in her online profile and in her thread. She was "entitled" to a little more excitement and probably had a shag with the guy in the next cubicle or something. One thing's for certain--NO ONE gets divorced simply because her husband is forgetful about her birthday. At least no one who is reasonably sane. They might get pissed. Really pissed. They might take it out on the spouse. They might go shopping for very expensive shoes at the mall. They might throw crockery. They might yell and scream. But a woman with kids getting divorced because her husband forgot to buy her a gift on her birthday? C'mon OP. Tell us the real reason you got divorced. WTF is wrong with you?
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 You are not in high demand, and you will not see the results you want online or offline until you put in alot of work, and start approaching guys and messaging them. if you dont learn to change your attitude about approaching men, you will either be lonely for a while, or settling. . Well then ..I guess I will be happy to sit at home with the latest issue of People and a vibrator;)
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 LOL nothing is "wrong" with me. The real question you should be asking is: "WTF is wrong" with yourself? Because after you attacked me for no reason, I checked your past posting history. Voila! Only two weeks ago or so, you were in what you claimed to be a reasonably happy relationship with an "MM" i.e. married man. What happened to that relationship? Is it over now? When did you break it off with your MM? If you haven't, why are you looking for dates online? Do you realize how emotionally messed-up you are? So what if I am seeing a married man? I am not married myself and so I have the freedom to date whomever I please.
paddington bear Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I've edited it for you: "I am a happy single mother who is looking to meet the right man for me. Perhaps I'm the right woman for someone out there. I would first like to share what I can offer to you: I am attractive, kind, intelligent and compassionate. I like reading, visiting museums, cooking, travel and attending concerts/sporting events. I'm the type of person who is always up for something new and exciting! I feel that I can offer someone affection, support, encouragement and depth (I would add in something about fun and humour here...this all sounds too heavy). I am in what I consider a good place and am a pretty happy person. I am currently changing my career path and am excited about the future. It would be lovely to meet someone who...(makes me laugh, can cook up a great sunday lunch...whatever - be a bit more specific, and about things that many men feel they can offer, the small, simple things that are often more appreciated than the big gestures). I'd like to meet a man who shares some of the values that are important to me. I'm hardworking and ambitious, so I'm looking for someone who also has goals and enjoys their work. I really like reading and would adore to have someone who shares that interest (nicer way of putting, please be educated enough to be literate). What I truly desire is someone who will treat me well. I am a girl through and through and appreciate men who open doors and hold out chairs for me. I love being a woman and don't apologize for it:) However, between the biweekly manicures, I can get down and dirty on a road trip, at a concert or while camping:)" All the other stuff about your attitude to your divorce, your kids blah blah can be discussed when and if you get past date 2 with someone. Emphasise that you are fun to be around, which I'm sure you are - coming with the baggage of a divorce and kids immediately sends out 'heavy responsibilities' to prospective men. Other than that practice simply smiling at men you find attractive in the supermarket, wherever and just get back into flirting - even if they're men you don't particularly want, you'll bring a smile to their faces and you'll feel more confident, and you never know it could be one of these random men that asks you out instead of a cyberman.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Where I live it costs $50.00. Works out to about $1000/year. Even if it only costs you $20.00 a pop, you're spending $520/year just to get your nails done. You're a divorced mother of two switching careers. Are you seriously telling me you can afford $500/year (or whatever it costs, for that matter) on something like this? Oh right. I checked out your posting history. Apparently you were getting some form of financial support from the married man you'd been having an affair with and/or perhaps still are having an affair with. I note you didn't put that relationship history in your online profile. What are you talking about? No one supports me or gives me money, my married friend or otherwise. I pay for my own manicures because I am a good mother, work hard and deserve to look nice. If a man has an issue with that, I hope he doesn't let the door hit his ass on the way out.
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Oh right. I checked out your posting history. Apparently you were getting some form of financial support from the married man you'd been having an affair with and/or perhaps still are having an affair with. and I checked out yours It seems you have some bone to pick over here.. You do realize that this thread isn't about affairs or anything of that nature ? How about helping the poster instead of beating on her...
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 revised: I am a happy single mother who is looking to meet the right man for me. I would first like to share what I can offer to you: I am attractive, kind, intelligent and compassionate. I like reading, visiting museums, cooking, travel and attending concerts/sporting events. I'm the type of person who is always up for something new and exciting! My friends tell me that I am attractive, kind, intelligent and compassionate.I like reading, visiting museums, cooking, travel and attending concerts/sporting events.I feel that I can offer someone affection, support, encouragement and depth. I can also make a mean fried chicken:) I am in what I consider a good place.I am changing my career path-going from the world of cubicles to the world of nursing.I just became a Licensed Nursing Assistant and will be starting nursing school in the fall. I am a caring person and so this career is a perfect fit. When asked about my ideal match....I am looking for someone who is as ambitious, kind and hardworking as I am . Oh, and a guy who knows the difference between "their" and "there" would make me happy. Looks are important, sure, but what I truly desire is someone who will treat me well. I am a girl through and through and appreciate men who open doors and hold out chairs for me. I love being a woman and don't apologize for it:) However, between the biweekly manicures, I can get down and dirty on a road trip, at a concert or while camping:)
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 To most guys, a female who is constantly primping and pampering herself by getting manicures and so forth is likely to be a high-maintenance beotch with unrealistic expectations about what most guys will put up with. So it doesn't communicate her "feminine" side. It communicates the opposite. It communicates a rather bitchy sense of entitlement and expectation. It communicates a castrating, long-fingernailed, money hungry dragon lady. And her previous posting history confirms this. She comes off as a rather heartless person who got herself involved with a married man (with no concern for the mm's betrayed spouse) pretty much because he was attractive and had some money to spend on her. She ruled out "normal Joes" who like to drink beer and watch NASCAR. They're just not up to her very high standards unfortunately. When asked by others why she was involved with a married man, her answers basically communicated a rather selfish sense of entitlement. IMO. Sounds like someone is threatened by strong women. And fwiw, my married friend very much came after me. I know he will not leave his wife-ftr, I don't want him to do so-and so I am thinking about the future.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Are you kidding me? When you go out on the town with your married man, who pays for the restaurant? Who pays for the hotel bill if you meet with him in a hotel? You? Or him? Or maybe you go "dutch treat." By the way....are you still "seeing" the married man or have you broken it off with him? If you're still seeing him, i.e. you're still in a relationship, why are you even concerned about posting an online profile? Does your married man know what you are doing? Oh he pays. In my world, the man pays when we are on a date. I am not in a committed relationship; he is.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 But, if she wanted to communicate her "feminine" (or more effectively her "nurturing") side, she wouldn't talk about her nails. She would talk about how she loves to "take care of her man," make him home cooked meals, etc. etc. (I don't know, maybe she did talk about that, I don't remember seeing it in her profile.) LOL. I am not looking for another kid!
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I have no bone to pick. Since the thread is about helping polksaladannie's social life, then yes it is "about affairs" since she is either currently IN AN AFFAIR with a married man or only recently exited it. How exactly do you look to date someone else seriously without that being an "issue"? If she meets a new guy that she likes, and it's starting to get "serious," at what point does she divulge "Oh by the way I've also been screwing a married guy for quite a while, I just thought you should know." Why would a potential serious partner need to know anyway?
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Well, first, I'm not threatened by strong women; on the contrary, I'm married to one. Second, what about yourself leads you to the conclusion that you are a "strong" woman? What does "strong" woman mean to you? Is that a euphemism for "beotch"? If you are married then why the hell are you trolling a dating forum?
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 LOL. So much for the "strong woman" annie. Part of being a strong woman is having the confidence to demand respect. Yes, I can pay my own way, but the proper thing is for the man to pay. The men who pay on dates are the men who will treat the wife with respect and love.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Well I can think of a reason or two-- 1. To establish a basis of trust and honesty between the two of you. 2. To be aware of the potential for possibly catching an STD if he has sex with you. 3. To have a better insight into your moral or ethical values, or the lack thereof. 4. On an emotional level, to determine whether or not you are capable of successfully being involved in an exclusive, mature, loving relationship on a long term or perhaps lifetime basis. LOL just forget it. I might as well be talking Sanskrit to you annie. What happens prior to the relationship is my business...as long as everyone is STD free, life is good.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 O.K. now annie, let's break this down, because the above statement actually provides a pretty good example of some flawed reasoning on your part. Let me show it to you-- You claim that the reason you want the man to always pay is not out of simple greed or avarice (which would not be qualities of a "strong woman", rather, they are qualities of a selfish woman); rather, by paying for dates, that man shows you he "will treat the wife with respect and love." So tell me annie--is your married man treating his wife with respect? I'll bet he pays for his wife too when he takes her out to the restaurant. "Players" have no problem with spreading some "ka ching" around because it attracts exactly what they want--shallow women who are willing to spread their legs in exchange for a meal. That doesn't describe you I hope. How he treats his wife is his business, not mine
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 OK so what you're saying is you don't believe that being honest about your past is important in establishing trust in any future serious relationship. Yes go with that annie. I don't feel that a person has to reveal everything about herself. A little mystey never hurt anyone
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Ummm....it is your business if you are looking to be the man's wife. But I am not....
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Buttnutter100 You have totally derailed this thread and as poster on this thread I would like to post more on it but I feel like you are basically taking your anger out on the OP to the point that this thread has been rendered useless... WTF dude ?
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 No I haven't derailed anything artcritic. You are personally attacking me for no reason but apparently you want to be perceived by annie as some kind of "knight in shining armor." She is more than capable of answering for and defending herself if that needs to be done (which it doesn't--we are just having a discussion!) She is a self-described strong woman and I suggest if you are unhappy with the discussion of this thread it is you who should go elsewhere and stop trying to cause trouble. If you have a constructive comment, then make it. Otherwise you should stop attacking me. You have done it several times already in this thread. You tried to make yourself the issue by talking about woodworking or something. You directly attacked me by claiming I was off my rocker, etc. Totally uncalled for. If what is going on here is that you fancy annie or have some kind of an interest in possibly hooking up with her, then please have the courage to be upfront about that rather than so indirect. I don't mind at all, I'm happily married and am not interested in anyone but my spouse. So the filed is clear for you my man. Good luck with that. Happily married men do not go on dating sites.
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 OK maybe I misunderstood. I thought the purpose of your posting an online dating profile was because your objective was to find a new guy for a serious relationship, as your current relationship with the married man is not going to go anywhere as he has told you he has no intention of leaving his wife. So is what you are saying that even if you find a new guy you really like and get into a serious relationship with him, you would have no intention of ever getting re-married? I can understand that, many people don't want to ever get re-married. I just assumed remarriage was something that you were seeking as the possible outcome of getting into a new, serious relationship with a "marriagable" man. I mean if you are not looking to ever get married then why bother? It sounds like you are having fun with your affair partner, why not just stick with that? Do you have anything of value to add??
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Honey, you really think this is a "dating site"? I thought that it's an internet relationship discussion/advice forum. Well this forum is called "dating"
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Well good luck trying to get a date here then! But that's your interest, not mine. Attention all available men at Loveshack: Go for it. Oh I wasnt saying it was a dating site like match! I meant the title of the forum is called dating. And again...why are you, a happily married man, here???
Author polksaladannie Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I will take your question seriously even if you think you are trying to be sarcastic. Yes, my answer is, I do have something of value to add. You definitely need to see a therapist or counselor to sort out your relationship and personal issues to put you into a place in your life so that you are able to have a happy, committed, loving relationship with an available, loving man. That is my "value added." You need therapy, badly. And I can't achieve this because I get manicures, right? You say you are married man but you have betrayed spouse written all over you
Art_Critic Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 (edited) No I haven't derailed anything artcritic. You are personally attacking me for no reason but apparently you want to be perceived by annie as some kind of "knight in shining armor." She is more than capable of answering for and defending herself if that needs to be done (which it doesn't--we are just having a discussion!) Dude.. I was trying to post on this thread with advice before you came barreling in here and started with your angry outbursts that have nothing to do with this thread.. I was trying to use my time posting today to do some good and I happen to be posting on this thread at the time you started wasting the time all of the posters who have put in on this thread. Take your shiot elsewhere if you can't release that HUGE chip on your shoulder.. Don't give me he knight in shining armor crap.. If the poster was male I'd be doing the same thing.. I didn't come on this thread to defend someone, I was already posting when you came on this thread to attack someone. By the way.. I'm happily married and your insinuations that I have something for a poster that I've never posted with before is just childish. Just the fact that you would think I would try and cheat on my wife becuase I have posted against you in this thread is a testament to your own maturity. good day.. and welcome to my ignore list.. Edited February 1, 2010 by Art_Critic
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