JoJola Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 This is kind of based on a prior post I made a bit ago..Now if someone does not want contact with you (Referring to my recent breakup), I mean really does not want contact with you then why do they not block you completely from all contact? Such as Instant Message; text block; call block... I am jst curious..if I dont want contact with an ex I completely block them from contacting me.. Also, such as in my case..they have your belongings and wont give them back..even when you will send someone to get them so they dont have to see you? One thing for me is .. if I have something of theirs they will try to contact me to get it back so I always make sure to give their stuff back so they have no reason to contact me Any ideas on this?
LostInLimbo Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Sounds to me like they want to let go, but want something to fall back on as well, for what ever reason, be it, had there fun and now want to come back (becareful of that) or someone who just likes that security blanket, knowing they still have some attachment to the other person. LiL
McGrupp Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 yeah its weird. like i told my ex not to contact me anymore after i freaked out on her. then she emailed me 3 days later saying she was sorry. then i drunk dialed her and she picked up. and then she said she was going to block my number. but then she texted me on NYE. so its like...does she feel sorry for me? does she still want to see i want her? its strange. like i could email her now and she would probably respond, albeit just a nice polite response. ugh im tired of analyzing
jwork313 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 i believe the best way after the breakup is to cease all contact. Block the phone number and do what you can to block all e-mails. you can even block the person on facebook so you can't even access their profile if you wanted. I wish i had the courage when i was first dumped to not call and text my ex. it made things harder on me in the long run. She also used it against me to make me look like a fool to mutual friends.
Author JoJola Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 Well, he has not contacted me but the reason he broke up with me is because i IM some stuff and his daughter read it (how was i suppose to know it wasnt him). I have not contacted him either; it just seems to me he would block me from contacting him if he didnt want me too cause that is what i would do. Now the question is: do I contact him on my belongings or jst let it be. He has a bracelet that my mother gave me so it is important..i guess. Its been two weeks since he started ignoring me.
HockeyMom Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 This is kind of based on a prior post I made a bit ago..Now if someone does not want contact with you (Referring to my recent breakup), I mean really does not want contact with you then why do they not block you completely from all contact? Such as Instant Message; text block; call block... I am jst curious..if I dont want contact with an ex I completely block them from contacting me.. Any ideas on this? JoJola, I was just about to comment on your other thread..I'm going thru some of the same. 1st off I'm curious to how you know whether they blocked you from IM, or text. I'm wondering if I am still on his IM buddy list. And I know he can get a text from me because just today I broke NC and sent him a text and he did respond immediately...so he didn't block me there nor do I know he could? Well, it's been 4 1/2 months for me with pretty much NC. I'm 46, so is my xbf. We have quite the history. I've been in love with him for 13 years and 8 of those years he was with someone else. Left me a girl he worked with and married her. I never stopped hoping he'd come back to me some day. Well he left her and realized he made a mistake and 8 yrs later he came back to me. (2007) So now we were together another 2 1/2 yrs. Alot of ups and downs small break ups here and there. Well finally he left me again and once again a girl he met at work. What makes matters a whole lot worse is that I work there as well. He got me the job there. I love the job and won't quit. I barely go a second in a day, 7 days a week without wishing we were together. I fell like i'm living in torture. I know that just about, not saying all, the people on here and all my friends and family would absolutely tell me that i'm out of my mind, why would i want or ever be able to trust him again and that he is a complete Ahole... and doesn't deserve me. Can't help it... he was my best friend, love of my life, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I don't know how to get over him. I see a therapist (I feel as though he is the only one that has to still keep listening to me without judging me) I see a phych for meds... I get up every day, except today and try to be as functional as possible... I have a 15 yr old that needs me to be ok. I try to keep up with errands and housework and stay busy. Oh and when I lost my bf over 4 months ago, I also lost my job of over 27 yrs... not fun at all I tell ya....but anyway can you tell me how I would know if they block you from IM or from texts.. I often wonder if he took me off his AIM buddy list. Oh, and sorry this was so long. First time telling some of my story.
Author JoJola Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 I am able to feel your pain; it hurts constantly There is a website you can go to called Imvisible.com; there you can import your contact list and check to see if they are online; invisible; or have you blocked. Now, the key to know if your blocked is: *They are never online anymore, they always show up as sleeping *This website will tell you if they are online or logged in as invisible *The key to know if your blocked is ..they show up offline on your messenger list but show up as being on line on the website. Now, I use yahoo, but I believe you can check others too.. Hope this helps you
HockeyMom Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Thank you, If only I could figure out where to go from there it sounds great. I went to Imvisible.com and I feel like I'm at the wrong place. I don't know where to go from there??
HockeyMom Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 he does show up on my list as online, I'm just wondering if I show up on his and knows when I'm online or if he deleted me from his buddy list.
Author JoJola Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I dont think there is anyway to find out if you are still on his list; If he shows up on line to you he probably has not deleted you. But you can delete the person from your list but not remove them from your contacts so he wouldnt see you but you could still mesage him. but I dont know why you want to waste too much time on him. Sounds like this man only causes you pain and grief. I understand the deperation you feel but you are probably only hurting yourself by putting your energy into what he is doing rather than healing yourself. I would guess you are still on his list as it seems he doesnt want to let go permanently but come in and out of your life..you should delete him from your list. I know this is not easy. If you must you can also try the website...apnamessenger.com...
CaliGuy Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Blocking someone via every avenue may not be within someone's technical capability. I guarantee you though, if they don't want to see/talk to you and you use one of those technical abilities to contact them, they'll figure out how to block you pretty fast I wouldn't put too much stock into being blocked or not. I've been blocked and I've been NOT blocked. Depends on the person who uses the techology and how internet savvy they are.
Silver_star Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Let me be very clear with you. He doesnt want to talk to you. Do not make excuses for this behavior, and try and find someway to justify contacting him (ie; he didnt block you completely) if he made it clear to you verbally he doesnt wanna talk to you that should be a big enough gesture. Respect that. Go NC...and if he has by chance left those bridges unburned ( not blocking you) then he can talk to you in the future and be friends..you decide if u want that, and u can block him if u dont want that to happen.
Author JoJola Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Ouch!! Thanks, I dont plan on contacting him or bothering him in any way; each day that passes I feel better and better about letting him go. I just ask the questions that make my curiosity rise? Although I really cared about him I also believe he may be bipolar (I have made prior posts on here) becuase his behavoir changes so suddenly over simple things. I guess it will be hard for me when he does get over this, he may or may not, but I am guessing from past experiences that we have had he will and may contact me...then that will be the hard part.
Author JoJola Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 Silver Star, He has not made it clear verbally that he does not want to talk to me; he will not answer that question...he leaves it open! I have told him several times that if he does not want to speak to me then tell me; im good with that. He will not do that at this point, i have asked twice with no repsonse to that question..and he has done this one other time. If am not asking again, I come on here when I get the urge to call him so It keeps me busy so I dont call
Silver_star Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Jo jola, "I dont know", and no answer means NO...well what it really means is im gonna drag this on for as long as i can, so i can control her emotions..that way i can always go back. In reality if he loves u enough he wouldnt be making you go through this he just wouldnt. And the fact that he cant respect your feelings enough to be straight up with you as a friend, and a person is UNACCEPTABLE. I dont care what kind of tragedy your going through in life..you dont treat loved ones like that!! PERIOD
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