Sheepish

[Sarinon]

Hey guys ... um, I'm not really sure if I should be posting this but I guess it can't hurt? I'm in a LDR and my partner and I are having a lot of problems that are beyond our control. Right now we're both clinging to each other as the only good thing in our respective lives but we both feel the strain and I figured maybe people who have been through this before will have some advice?

 

He is in Malaysia, I'm in New Zealand and because of money issues, we don't get to see each other often at all. We use MSN to chat and, when my unstable connection allows us, we use Skype voice chat which we both prefer.

 

One of our major problems is that I am currently very ill. I'm in and out of hospital and every day is an effort, not to mention full of pain. I often stay up past when I should be asleep in order to talk to my man when he gets home from work but this can sometimes end in me having a fit and unable to say very much at all because I'm in pure agony. He refuses to end the call when this happens and so he sits there well into the early hours of the morning talking to me and trying to keep me calm.

 

This is very stressful for me, but it is utter hell for him. He laments his inability to be there for me or hold me during the pain attacks and we both feel a lot of guilt over the situation. Him for not being there, and me for being unable to spare him the torture of listening to me whimper.

 

Not only that, but his sister and his ex are both good friends of mine, but they are also fighting over something which seems very petty. My man and I often get caught in the middle of this.

 

And a quick note about our other problems:

- Money! We get to see each other once a year.

- His parents. They think he's a huge disappointment and he has very low self-esteem as a result

- My family. They're ... let's just say they're not supportive.

- My attack. I was recently the victim of attempted rape and our relationship nearly ended because I couldn't take the strain of not having him there. Nor could he, but we managed to hang on by a thread.

- My sight. I'm almost blind and I feel like I'm relying/going to rely too much on him.

 

Anyway, if you don't have any ideas on how to help, don't worry, just ignore this thread. If you do, though, I shall give you all the cookies you could ever want. ^_^

[Soul Bear]

Sorry you have not had any replies yet.

 

I read your post and I really feel for you...What an awful sittuation.

 

But there is hope....

For a start, who cares what families think?! Romeo and Juliette didn't let that effect them. You guys have held on to each other. You cherish each other. Don't let go. If you Love each other...never let go. True Love can hurt, but it is worth it in the end

 

He is aware of your sight and he still loves you and wants to be with you...so there is no problem there. Be greatful, not embarrassed or feel needy.

 

As for money and distance, you guys need to sort out what you want to do. Do you want to get married?

 

Having spent 5 years in Malaysia myself, I know what parents can be like out there. He needs to get out of there.

 

Sounds like you guys really do love each other a lot, and all you can do is keep fighting for whhat you believe in.

 

Im sorry i didn't offer you any 'help' as such, but I hope you can find some comfort in some of this...

[Els]

Oh, hon, I totally feel for you. The ironic thing is that my guy and I are in those exact same countries.. just reversed!

 

Is there anything you can do about your medical condition?

 

I honestly don't know what we can do for you except extend a supportive hand... Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and sometimes they all come in one huge bloody barrage. I think one comfort is that your love has proven that it could withstand all of that and still hold strong - not many people ever experience that sort of love all their life, especially not those who ridicule it and put it down.

 

By the way, NZ has this cool working holiday scheme thing with Malaysia - he can stay there for 6 months and work too, for any part-time temp vacancy available. Have you guys ever considered it?

[Sarinon]

Thank you very much, guys. I really do appreciate it. There isn't much to be done about my medical condition until I get a date for surgery, but hopefully that will come soon.

 

Oh, hon, I totally feel for you. The ironic thing is that my guy and I are in those exact same countries.. just reversed!

 

Is there anything you can do about your medical condition?

 

I honestly don't know what we can do for you except extend a supportive hand... Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and sometimes they all come in one huge bloody barrage. I think one comfort is that your love has proven that it could withstand all of that and still hold strong - not many people ever experience that sort of love all their life, especially not those who ridicule it and put it down.

 

By the way, NZ has this cool working holiday scheme thing with Malaysia - he can stay there for 6 months and work too, for any part-time temp vacancy available. Have you guys ever considered it?

 

Oh wow, I didn't know that! I'll certainly look into it ^_^

[Els]

Good luck! You can find the information on the NZ immigration website.

 

P.S. If you do succeed, I do hope you'll come back and let us know... because I'm planning to apply for one in a few months' time and any help would be veeerryyy useful!