canadaman111 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I have met a girl online. We have spent almost everynight chatting online this past week. We haven't talked on the phone yet or met. We discussed meeting last time we talked and both want to, we just have to have a time we can both get rid of our kids for a night. She only lives 15 minutes away. She is a great girl we both seem to be exactly what each other is looking for. Obviously we haven't met yet so who knows for sure. I am so happy when we are talking and feel happy for a longtime after we are done. I talked to her for a few minutes this morning but she was to busy to talk and had to go. She did say she felt bad and I told her it was ok. Truly though I am upset. I really miss her. Is it normal to feel that way so soon? I am just out of a long term relaionship a few months ago. We both are looking for a long term relationship and want to take things slow. It is just so hard cause i feel so attached to her already.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 It's nice to hear that a man can feel this type of quick attachment. I thought it might only occur with women or just me. What I am learning, however, is that it is best to keep these feelings in check. After all, you're feeling these things for someone you have never met. Once you meet them, they may be totally different in person; not express themselves verbally as they did in writing leaving you to ask "is this the same person?" Then there's looks. I assume you've seen a picture. It may not be accurate at all. Or, meeting her may re-enforce your attraction and feelings; but, she may decide she isn't interested. It's going to hurt more because of the depth of the attachment you feel. I think you should slow down but be careful how you do it. You don't want her to think you lost interest. I hope it works out great!
Author canadaman111 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 It's nice to hear that a man can feel this type of quick attachment. I thought it might only occur with women or just me. What I am learning, however, is that it is best to keep these feelings in check. After all, you're feeling these things for someone you have never met. Once you meet them, they may be totally different in person; not express themselves verbally as they did in writing leaving you to ask "is this the same person?" Then there's looks. I assume you've seen a picture. It may not be accurate at all. Or, meeting her may re-enforce your attraction and feelings; but, she may decide she isn't interested. It's going to hurt more because of the depth of the attachment you feel. I think you should slow down but be careful how you do it. You don't want her to think you lost interest. I hope it works out great! I truly want to go slow, but what if i go to slow? I am just new to this. i don't know why I am so scared to lose someone i haven't met. For some reason I just care for her so much. It is a good thing I believe I jus miss her so much though.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I truly want to go slow, but what if i go to slow? I am just new to this. i don't know why I am so scared to lose someone i haven't met. For some reason I just care for her so much. It is a good thing I believe I jus miss her so much though. I think you need to meet as soon as possible. It might be easier to arrange lunch during the week or happy hour, rather than an evening date. It would also be a good idea to ask her how often she wants to chat or can chat.
Author canadaman111 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 I think you need to meet as soon as possible. It might be easier to arrange lunch during the week or happy hour, rather than an evening date. It would also be a good idea to ask her how often she wants to chat or can chat. We have discussed meeting. Haven't found a time that works yet. I am very nervous to meet though. I am scared to screw it up. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and don`t want to screw up.
EM47 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I am very nervous to meet though. I am scared to screw it up. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and don`t want to screw up. omg, i dont see this going well. its probably not a good thing to want to spend the rest of your life with her without meeting. ever hear the term "red flag"? be sure not to tell her about any of these feelings, most girls will run and probably should run lol
sid3 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 nobody wants to spend the rest of their life with a person they have emailed for a week. Please, I was thinking how pathetic, but your last post confirmed your a troll
meerkat stew Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 (edited) Tend to agree with Sid, but in case not a troll, OP, please considering putting a brake on this until you meet in person. Those pleasure feelings you are having are due to being infatuated, nothing wrong with that at all, but the accompanying false intimacy is very dangerous. Trust me, have made similar mistakes many times, as recently as 6 months ago, allowing things to move way too fast. But even in the mistakes I've made, have never waited long to meet in person, so you may be in more danger. Sorry to sound like Debbie Downer. What happens is without realizing it, you are both applying lots of pressure, though it doesn't feel so. This pressure will crack the very weak foundation you are building, which is weak because trust and true familiarity have not had time to even begin forming. The first misunderstanding or feeling of coming down to reality can blow the relationship apart in an instant. You could certainly get lucky and avoid this, but it is very common, lots of threads here about such situations. Edited January 30, 2010 by meerkat stew
Author canadaman111 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 You are right. These feelings are not good. We need to meet in person and just go where things go naturally. As much as I want things to progress the chances are much better if we move slow. Thanks guys
Author canadaman111 Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 Lastnight we talked for 5 hours! She seem to want all the same things. We both agree it feels like we have known each other for ever. We talked about everything from how to integrate the 4 kids together, to whether either of us would want to marry again. It just feels so right. It is like a once and a lifetime chance has came along and we both want to catch it. It is so much easier cause we both feel the same way. I understand that this could be setting us up to be hurt far more then would be necessary if things don't work out, but i fully think they will. Life is great right now!!
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