Krazysweet Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 ok im confused just out of curiousity... why ist the "dating rules" are always push urself away to lure him/her in, dont be available, be nice but not too into them, dont be too much of a best friend...ok. Then again they say a soulmate is a "BEST FRIEND", "ALWAYS THERE", N "LOVES YOU N CANT BE AWAY" so im wondering wtf? lol seriously its either one or the other, i guess im just curious because i cant see me being that cold (like the 1st rules) because to me love is something more eternal, and it shouldnt matter if u choose to do something for some1 when they ask or cant be away. Maybe its just me but id rather have that Best friend cant be away relationship with a mature person who feels that way for me so why is the "RULES" that u gotta treat that person like they dont matter so that they feel the same way? I mean dont get me wrong i dont mean be clingy and cater to some1 100% but why is it not ok to be deeply in love anymore? anyone got any opinions im curious to what every1 thinks about it just be nice, i dont mean to start world war 3 here, im just wondering what you think lol:D
counterman Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 There are no absolute rules for dating. It is not meant to be that regimented. Some of the things you mentioned are counter intuitive and have been observed to help others who are dating. But, you are strictly noting them in a negative perspective. Push yourself away to lure him/her? How can someone miss you if you are always there for them? Don't be available? Of course you have to be available if you are ALWAYS there, you are sort of like a .. door mat and can easily be taken for granted. Be nice but not too nice? You would not do anything for the girl or guy you are dating that you would not do for anyone else (not strictly speaking). So, for example, I would not go head over heels to gets something for her and not expect anything in return, that's just silly. There has been a lot of talk about "nice" guys. Being too much of a best friend? It's because you can become friend-zoned. Maybe once you are in a relationship, you treat things differently. I don't know. But, there are no strict rules for dating, even though some may enforce strict guidelines.
Author Krazysweet Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 I guess that's my point that everything is so counter intuitive and unfortunately there are some people that do follow a lot of these guidelines strictly, which is kind of irritating because as i see it, it should kinda be a go with the flow sorta thing. Im not one of those people by the way, i was just curious because i was reading a cosmo the other day and basically those where their little "rules" n it just kind of got me thinking and wondering how people see dating. Me and a really close friend of mine not too long ago had a conversation about dating, and she seemd to really follow the whole "push urself away to lure him," "dont be too available" thing and that's why i wanted to see what other peopke thought as to it, its kind of interesting.
meerkat stew Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 There's a difference between pushing her away and going slow.
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