slamina Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Hey guys, its been a while, to the point where I had to think about what my username actually was when I was signing in. Always you guys to come back to so v grateful for that. I thought that I wasnt gonna be back, especially after the last month and a half of intense work and exams, stuff is coming back. I'm not completely sure what 'stuff' means, but put it this way...I woke up at 5 o'clock covered in cold sweat. The dream I had went something like this, a random friend of mine...he was like come on come one...you gotta come. Ok then he leads me to this building (maybe a hotel?), and finally into this room where my ex was. I sat down to talk to her, expecting an argument or something, but she kisses me, lots of times. And it felt SO REAL! She says something along the lines of' 'Ive missed you so much, everythings gonna be OK for us now...' and we ended up getting *intimate. ThenI woke up. After 4 months of NC, the waves of disappointment washed all over me. Either that, or it was my sweat Jokes aside, I had to have a moment to get over the disapointment. I just really dont know what to do. Its the second time this has happened this week. I have tried to carrying on a HECTIC lifestyle, but it just doesnt seem to be controllable, for 'stuff' not to come back. I feel so lonely all the time...and dare I say...sometimes I still miss her, after vowing never to get myself hung up on this again. I'm almost at my wits end....what can I do....
onewillburn Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I'm sorry to hear that you're having these dreams/flashbacks. The trouble is that even after months of no contact, you'll still get little reminders of your ex that can hurt just as bad as if you were still in contact with them. Some would say that the dreams imply that she is still in your thoughts subconsciously, but you can't help that. It takes a lot of effort and self-control to get through a difficult break up. The good thing is that you ARE moving on. You'll get these painful reminders, but they won't hurt for as long as they would have if you weren't implementing no contact. You'll get over these things more quickly. Have you thought about maybe trying to meet other girls? Going out on dates with new people? Do you think that's a step you're ready to take?
GrayClouds Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I have tried to carrying on a HECTIC lifestyle, but it just doesnt seem to be controllable, for 'stuff' not to come back. I feel so lonely all the time...and dare I say...sometimes I still miss her, after vowing never to get myself hung up on this again. I'm almost at my wits end....what can I do.... These dreams is just anther way of letting go and telling you your not 100% there yet. Why keeping busy is good way to help heal, you also have to allow yourself to pass through the grief process. If it is not done consciously then the sub-conscious takes over. There are ways to face it without being hung up on it. Try doing some journaling, write out your thoughts with pen and paper. Do not try to control them just let them out. Do it for a few weeks at night. If you haven't find someone to really talk about what she meant to you, what your feeling now.
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