creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 (edited) my girlfriend says im too clingy and if i continue she will break up with me so we've had a silent week but she recently told me that there is nothing wrong, jus that school is hectic... should i send this email to her? goodluck on your tournament ______!, keep me inside you so you'll have more strength, dont worry, you will do good because i have faith in you. I know ive been too needy and i apologize for being such a selfish jerk. Exams and finals are coming soon and trust me school is killin me too, and I didnt realize it because I was only thinking about myself, I bet if i was in your shoe i wouldnt like to be bothered also, that's why i have the right to say SORRY to you... Oh and I passed 2 of my exams today for both my subjects so im proud of myself. Then i went to go grab some frozen yogurt from dairy queen, i was actually at tierresanta today to kick it with some of my old friends from De Portola, Then went to go to the rec center by the school and tried skateboarding, but then i fell on my head and now i think i have brain damage, (here's the good part) I stood up and took it like a MAN! well im just letting you know that im alright, and for the most part, Im still here as your Loving boyfriend who is still ridiculously In-Love-With-You! because you are just so beautiful in every angle I look at you, whether its from the Inside or Out. that just reminded me of In-N-Out. Kick ass for me _______! you will always be Inside my head. -Love you, ______. Should i send this email or should i remain silent till she talks or call me? Edited January 30, 2010 by creyente7
counterman Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 If you continue to be clingy then she will break up with you? What? What have you been doing that is so clingy? That's what I want to know first. I don't think you should send her that email. If she thinks you are too clingy then she can come to you, because, seriously, anything you do can be viewed as clingy now. Maybe give her a short message or something but not an email. She will be able to draw some conclusion that will lead her to think you are still clingy.
boogieboy Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 When she wants space, you do exactly the opposite of what you think you should, or feel you should do. Right now you want to make her feel wanted and supported. Thats not what she needs. She needs to feel that she will lose YOU, even though she feels like you are too clingy. So instead of siting by your phone, waiting for her to call, You dont answer next time she calls...call her back an hour or so later. If she texts you, dont answer until she texts you again. You become too busy for her, and make her think you have already moved on. She already knows that you are into her, you dont need to keep telling her, thats not what she wants. You gave her too much of you, now you need to take it away. Problem is i dont know your situation, so I dont know if she found someone else, or if she is just tired of you. When someone says they need space, but then says everything is ok, it usually means they are shopping for someone else, and are keeping you around until they move on to the new person. Thats why you have to pull yourself away from her. Dont let her think she can keep you hanging on while she moves on to someone else. her fear is that she will be alone and feel the hurt just in case the new guy doesnt work out. Dont give her ANy reassurance, it makes it easy for her to take advantage of you. Plus if you show her youre there for her while she gets away from you, in her eyes, its a turnoff because youre letting her walk all over you...even though she isnt telling you that she is.
Author creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 If you continue to be clingy then she will break up with you? What? What have you been doing that is so clingy? That's what I want to know first. I don't think you should send her that email. If she thinks you are too clingy then she can come to you, because, seriously, anything you do can be viewed as clingy now. Maybe give her a short message or something but not an email. She will be able to draw some conclusion that will lead her to think you are still clingy. well, after not seeing her for two weeks i thought id surprise her and go to her school without her knowing and bought her lunch food, then asked her to see me again after school, then i asked her if i could see her again yesterday, and she said no because she'll be busy, then after that, it all started, she was acting like i didnt exist, she would read my emails but dont reply, no eye contact, not smiling at me... just seems really stressed. so dont do anything at all? i dont even need to convey to her that i still care for her or what should i do? i can only communicate to her with email because she cant talk on the phone... strict parents. sometimes she can, she actually called me just yesterday or two to tell me that nothing was wrong and that school is really hectic, she apologized for making me mad and she wasnt trying to make me mad.... do you find that as shopping for a new guy? because she recently told me too that she loves me and that im the guy she's happy to be with. maybe she felt i was insecure for coming to her school without her knowing. and all...
SadandConfusedWA Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 It's sad but you have already lost her. You were not being too needy, you were just being yourself and she seems not to like *who you are*. Most likely there is another guy in the picture but he is not a sure thing yet. The only thing to do now is absolutely NOTHING. Best case scenario: she will come back when the other guy doesn't pan out.
Author creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 MayBe she has found, maybe she hasnt, maybe im scared to kmow the truth, but time will solve the problem. She night have thought that i was insecure because i went to her school without her knowing and surprised her with the lunch food, she loved what i did and she was thankful for what i did, when i asked her if i could see her tommorow she already gave me the hint that she will be busy tommorow and probably the whole week because she is a busy girl with 5AP classes, plus finals and exams are coming up so i have been selfish of her time. She apologized to me when i got mad at her for acting like i dont exist because she didnt mean to im not making you guys tell me what i want to hear which will make me feel alot better, im just being completely honest now because i want to know my way. If she meant i was beung clingy do i stop "ALL" contact wit her untill she talks to me? Do i need to convey to her that i still care for her or does she already know this and no need to tell her?!? Time will answer but i need to know my ways and be prepared tnx guys!
BG1985 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Your girlfriend's stress isn't making her treat you like she is currently treating you. It's her lack of interest in a relationship with you. For future reference, let your next girlfriend initiate contact with you on a more regular basis. If she's interested, she'll do so. She knows you care about her. You have to let her come to you now. Delete her phone number and email address if you have to.
Author creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 Im afraid to loose her, that is why i am asking these questions, i should understand her stresses and i dont want to be one of theM thats why i will stop all contact with her, just thinking about our memories already makes me go crazy, i guess time will really reveal the answer. I cant be selfish and counteract on her reactions for being stressed, instead i will leave her alone and if she really loves me then she will come back.
BG1985 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 If a girl has to tell a guy he's being clingy, then it's already too late.
Author creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 Oh ok, yea thank god she didnt say this, it was her friend but as u said gf's friend are ****ed up. So im just gonna wing and think that she's has other priorities beside me and leAve her alone till she comes back to me, she just really wont tell me anything. Im her first boyfriend, first guy shes ever been with for a long time and first guy shes ever loved so strongly she said this just last week... On monday...
BG1985 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I'm here to temper your expectations. I used to hear all these same things, but they were really just empty words. The thing about friends I was referring to was the fact that they will get you in trouble with your girlfriend. Avoid her friends. Chances are if her friends told you she said that, she probably said it. Trust me, if this girl was interested, she'd still make time to talk to you in spite of her hectic schedule. You're certainly going out of your way to see her/do things for her with your schedule. If you were undergoing a stressful exam schedule, would you ignore your girlfriend and pretend she doesn't exist? Would you avoid her phone calls and emails?
Author creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 Ok i believe you now, let me tell you one more thing that happened, actually two. So after her friend told me that she said i was being clingy, she called me i guess inbetween their periods and i heard my girlfriends voice, herfriend was giving te phone to my gf but my gf refused, so i told her "you know what, dont force her, its just getting annoying" then afterschool she told me that nothing was wring then when she got home she called me again to apologize for making me mad... Now im mad/afraid/confused.... Ive spent all day today with friends to kill sometime, ill see how it goes on monday... Now, if its too late, is there an official breakup or can that be left out? And hear out my story and see if u can comment somethin on it
caplrwasel Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Hi.. You just be clear with her and change your view at a single point and be creative so both you feels really good and i don't think she 'll break up with you..
counterman Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I don't know the exact details but I am pretty sure you are not as clingy as your girlfriend might think. It is just her Stress from all the exams and from studying or whatever is absolutely no excuse for not even making an effort to take time to talk to you. Seriously, she makes it seem as though she has absolutely no time to spare, when I am pretty sure she does. It is not hard to spare some time. And, by apologising for making you mad? Yep, just empty words. You do not need to show her anything. In fact, if she loves you, she will show you that she still cares after being a little distant from her exams. Just let her be for now. She will make it up to you if she really loves you, but don't count on it. You don't deserve this.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I don't know if it's too late, but it will be if you don't stop. You're going to email her about "getting yogurt?" Seriously? Do not contact her, let her contact you and when she does reply minimally. Let her decide when next you see her. Just slow down. If she is stressed by school and you, she is going to cut out the only thing she can - you. You're behavior will lead her to believe you are not right for her. It may not be too late, but you are pushing her way too much.
Author creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 Ok well this is my last last email to her which was yesterday and im not gonna email her anymore, btw this is the only way we communicate i think it would be better if we talk on the phone, if i caused you any problem, im sorry, just stop acting like i dont exist, you can talk to me about it and i would understand so we could work things out. Should i leave it to this and not do anything anymore? Should i send her short emails at all? Or totally nothing??
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Ok well this is my last last email to her which was yesterday and im not gonna email her anymore, btw this is the only way we communicate i think it would be better if we talk on the phone, if i caused you any problem, im sorry, just stop acting like i dont exist, you can talk to me about it and i would understand so we could work things out. Should i leave it to this and not do anything anymore? Should i send her short emails at all? Or totally nothing?? I don't think "clingy" is the right word to describe your behavior with your girlfriend. I think you have been "annoying." Several people in this thread have told you to "wait for her to contact you." You say "I'm not going to email her anymore." Then immediately, you say "should I email her?" The people who have replied to your post have seen this situation many times. Based on that experience, it is certain that if you do not give her space, you will lose her. Your only hope is to back off and let her remember how things were before these problems. You seem determined to not listen. Stop kissing her ass and any other woman's ass in the future! If you screw-up, sincerely apologize one time only. While you should tell a woman you love her frequently, several times a day and more than once in a single email is too much. You're young and this is the time to decide what kind of man you are going to be in terms of relating to women. Don't walk on them and don't let them walk on you.
EM47 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 "keep me inside you so you'll have more strength" lol, i love it
EM47 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I don't think "clingy" is the right word to describe your behavior with your girlfriend. I think you have been "annoying." Several people in this thread have told you to "wait for her to contact you." You say "I'm not going to email her anymore." Then immediately, you say "should I email her?" The people who have replied to your post have seen this situation many times. Based on that experience, it is certain that if you do not give her space, you will lose her. Your only hope is to back off and let her remember how things were before these problems. You seem determined to not listen. Stop kissing her ass and any other woman's ass in the future! If you screw-up, sincerely apologize one time only. While you should tell a woman you love her frequently, several times a day and more than once in a single email is too much. You're young and this is the time to decide what kind of man you are going to be in terms of relating to women. Don't walk on them and don't let them walk on you. very good post. all these emails you sent or were going to send are horrible and will just drive her away. basically if she is not interested in you, it doesn't matter what you write, it won't change her mind. all it will make you do is look like a sap. and if she likes you, you could basically write anything or nothing and she would still like you. so its a lose lose by writing all this crap to her. just dont.
Author creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 Then when do i explain to her that i realize what ive done wrong? Since i shouldnt talk to her now, then when should i talk to her? How will she know i changed if i dont explain to her that i realize myself as being clingy... She doesnt know that i know that i understand the problem now...
EM47 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Then when do i explain to her that i realize what ive done wrong? Since i shouldnt talk to her now, then when should i talk to her? How will she know i changed if i dont explain to her that i realize myself as being clingy... She doesnt know that i know that i understand the problem now... well that's exactly it. you show her you stopped being clingy by not talking to her!!! That's the exact opposite of being clingy.
Author creyente7 Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 thAts a more like it answer =) do i talk to her about it or not anymore? Do i implement the action speaks louder than words on this one??
EM47 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 nope, you have nothing more to say...balls in her court now!
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 "keep me inside you so you'll have more strength" lol, i love it Me too, I didn't know it worked that way........
BG1985 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Don't apologize to her about anything. Technically you haven't done anything bad; you're just annoying her. If she contacts you, don't bring up this whole fiasco. Just act like you normally act with her (unless that means being clingy). If you give her space, she'll know that you've come to the realization that you're being too clingy.
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