Heikenpaiva Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 so there is this guy that led me to believe he really wanted a relationship with me last semester. we hung out a lot, made out quite a few times, he even told me that i have a "pull" over him. he initiated everything that happened and would kid around as if we were dating. well, i finally got brave and told him that i really like him. this was at a party and we were both pretty drunk. he told me that he's attracted to me, but he doesn't do relationships. i was pretty upset, but i told him that i at least still want to be friends and i don't want things to be weird between us or anything, and he told me not to worry. well, i didn't see him for awhile after that, and when i did see him again, there was a bit of tension, but more or less ok. well, over the past few weeks or so he's been really acting as if he actively dislikes me. he barely talks to me, seems to avoid me, etc. i sometimes think that i see him looking at me out of the corner of his eye, but i could be imagining it. i haven't said a mean word about him to anyone and i'm not mean to him either. i'm quiet and kind of shy, so sometimes i kind of clam up around him because i feel like he hates me. i'm not sure what to do. any ideas as to why he's acting this way? i really do value his friendship and enjoy hanging out with him and would like to do so. i understand if he's not interested in a relationship...it kind of sucks because i like him, but i do understand. but i still want to be friends. what should i do? i'm really upset about this.
DiscoChick Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 He wants to be friends. Friends with benefits.
Angel1111 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 He sounds extremely immature, and probably enjoys playing these games with women. If you haven't done anything to make him dislike you, then it sounds to me like he's just reacting to what you said about liking him. He may think that you're mad at him for making out with you and then announcing that he doesn't 'do relationships'. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about him. There are a lot of people in this world who seem nice on the outside, have great personalities, but there's a lot of nastiness going on the inside. If he's deliberately playing games with you, then it's very effective because it has you second-guessing yourself and wondering what's wrong with YOU, when he's the one who's behavior requires some explanation. Just go about your life and forget about this guy. He's more messed up than you know and it's not worth it for you to get yourself worked up about weirdo behavior. Just shrug and walk away.
boogieboy Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 He doesnt want to be friends with you because for him, friends only is a waste of time, and really, it is. You dont want to be his FWB, and you shouldnt. But for now, hes not interested in anything with you unless its just sex.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I agree with Angel that the guy sounds immature. IMO, it almost sounds like he's trying to get you to STOP liking him "like that" by being a jerk. Sounds very high school. Just ignore him.
counterman Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Yes, he sounds like a jerk. If you think you did something wrong, then don't. He's just being a dickhead. If he wants to be your friend, he'll come to you and even then I would seriously consider whether you still want to be his friend.
Author Heikenpaiva Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 thanks for your input, everyone. i would really like to just ignore him, but unfortunately, we work in the same department, are in the same discussion groups at school, on the same trivia team...so we have to interact with one another fairly closely. that's part of why i want this friendship to work. it really sucks to have this much discomfort whenever i'm in the same room with him. ugh.
Angel1111 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Then just be cooly polite and professional toward him. You do understand that he's the one who's being rude and inconsiderate, right? Why do women constantly do this stuff? When a person treats them badly, they're like a homeless puppy just going back for more. When someone treats you badly for no obvious reason, WALK. AWAY. Let him squirm for his own stupidity, instead of gloating at how predictable and pathetic women are.
sagetalk Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Why do women constantly do this stuff? When a person treats them badly, they're like a homeless puppy just going back for more. Man, when women are asking this question you know it's bad. If you ever figure it out let me know. Nice guys the world over would be indebted to you forever .
h_man Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 STOP seeing him as a potential boyfriend. Unfortunately it sounds like he is a player type guy. When he aint nice towards you then why bother? Best thing to do in that kind of situation is: ignore him. You deserve something better. There are plenty of good guys out there. Don't communicate with this idiot anymore.
aroll32 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I am in the exact same type of situation except a girl I like who I have been on a couple dates with and hung out a bunch just stopped talking to me. She won't even return a phone call anymore. Basically, what I can tell you is to try and avoid/ignore him for now. If he really wants to talk to you and be friends, he will. Give it time. It does sound like he is a dick so don't be surprised if he doesn't very soon.
sagetalk Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I am in the exact same type of situation except a girl I like who I have been on a couple dates with and hung out a bunch just stopped talking to me. Careful here. Something similar happened to me and she was hanging out with another guy.
aroll32 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Yeah, see my friend told me this a couple weeks ago. She likes me a lot. But one of her old guy friends told her he was interested. She told my friend that she really likes me, is more interested in me than the other guy but doesn't know what to do. It's really sad, because she led me on to believe she wanted something more. Then just suddenly stopped talking to me as much. And now, won't make contact with me at all even though I called her a week ago and she still hasn't called back. Not sure what to think about my situation though.
h_man Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Not sure what to think about my situation though. Do NOT contact her,if she want's you she will call. She may have mixed feelings or she like attention. Be careful. Dont invest too much heart into this. You have a chance to get hurt. Look for the girls who will respect your feelings!!!
aroll32 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Too late, because I was starting to invest into it, that's when she started acting weird. She already hurt me but I have gotten over it mostly. The one thing though that I cannot understand about what she did was that she told me she wanted to hang out said she felt like she hasn't seen me in forever. Made plans to go hang out with her at her place, then just didn't answer the phone. Damn, thinking about it again makes me pissed because I didn't think she was like that. Your right though, I need to find a girl that respects my feelings instead of the ones that are just in it for the attention.
Author Heikenpaiva Posted January 31, 2010 Author Posted January 31, 2010 i'm sorry to hear that, aroll. she sounds a lot like this guy. it sucks.
aroll32 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Yeah, it really does. I do feel a whole lot better though now. Just give yourself a week or two and you will start feeling back to normal. If your a nice girl, plenty of guys will want to be with you (if they are mature enough)
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