Div Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Ok, I'll try to keep this brief but I'm really confused right now and need opinions. I have been dating this girl for 2 years now, things have been GREAT and I can honestly say I fell in love with her, and she loved me back. About 2 weeks ago she broke it off basically saying she dosen't know if this is what she wants anymore, and wants some time apart to see how she feels. This absolutely broke my heart, but I went NC for about a week. I heard from all her friends that she was missing me and that we should talk. So earlier this week we had a long chat down at the park about where we were at. She said she wanted to work things out, but to take it slow and stay single for now. She said that we can see each other, but we are allowed to go out and dance/hook up with other people. I never really liked the idea, but saw some benefits. Still, it breaks my heart to think that she wants to see me but still be allowed to meet other guys. We hung out for 2 days this week and had a great time, but I've noticed shes been going out a lot, dressing up a lot & constantly texting on her phone. These are bad signs for me that she isn't ready to settle down again. I've confronted her about it and she claims that there is no one else she is interested in, and that she just dosen't want to rush back into it. My head and my heart are really confused right now, and I don't know whether I'm digging myself a big hole or whether this could actually turn out better for both of us. What do you guys think?
LoveOrb Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I'm no expert on this, but I've learned alot from the past few days. Stand up for yourself on this one. Let her know you don't want to do this BS fooling around. Either she's in it for the both of you or she can go do her thing without you. Honestly man, I'm not exactly in the right shape to be saying that to you, but that is what I can imagine those who are will say. She wants the best of both worlds, you want her to be yours, let her know that and set it down firmly. In my opinion you should go into it expecting the worst and be PREPARED for the worst. If you get her to actually agree to it and settle down, then you can only go up from there. I also say wait for a few others to reply before taking my advice, just in case I'm missing something or completely wrong. Regardless, good luck!
CaliGuy Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Sooo what she is saying is she wants you to stick around in "second place" in her life while she sow her wild oats. Kinda hang around, be her buddy while she possibly "hooks up" with other guys. Question: "Did you leave your nads in her purse?!" Seriously. Tell her "Thanks but no thanks, I am not interested..." and walk away like a confident, self-assured man would.
2sunny Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 My head and my heart are really confused right now, and I don't know whether I'm digging myself a big hole or whether this could actually turn out better for both of us. What do you guys think? your head and heart aren't confused. your head tells you she's doing some $hitty stuff to you - it's correct. your heart says you want the gal you knew and loved back... she's gone... she left and decided she wanted to check out another man - the one that's been texting her, the one she's been getting dressed up for. yes, you are digging a bigger hole by hanging around at all - you are showing her that you aren't worthy of standing up for yourself. tell her to get away - go have fun and allow you to find a decent, honorable gal that knows what commitment looks like. you can be grateful you didn't marry her first. this is the woman she is - her actions are telling you she is a woman that will cheat. she just wants to know if you're willing to put up with the cheating forever. tell her - no more.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Your heart is telling you that this is a good deal because a little of something is better than a lot of nothing. Your head should be telling you that this is the emotional equivalent of being kicked in the nuts repeatedly, with a kiss every now and again to make it feel better. Eventually you'll get tired of being kicked in the nuts and the kisses won't convince you anymore.
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 A two year "great" relationship, a man who loves her, and she loves him? No woman walks away from that. Either there were problems that you didn't share or she changed - found something she wants more and I doubt it's single life. I think there is another man. I would dump her and never look back. I'm sorry you have been treated so poorly. There are many women who would appreciate a good man.
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