Butterfly01 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) Someone sent me this to help with my healing and I just wanted to share it with everyone. Even though it sounds like it is for women, it works both ways (ironically, this was written by a man) If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and your always readily available to him- he takes it for granted. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them. Edited January 29, 2010 by Butterfly01
curiousnycgirl Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Oh My G-d so much of this applies to me, so freaking sad! I'm an idiot.
twinklecat Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Wow, this is fantastic Butterfly01, thank you for sharing!
curiousnycgirl Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Wow, this is fantastic Butterfly01, thank you for sharing! Sorry forgot to say that too. Meant to.
twinklecat Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Oh My G-d so much of this applies to me, so freaking sad! I'm an idiot. You're certainly not an idiot. alot of this applies to me also. The way I see it, it's great I have recognized it (and so have you!) so you know NEVER to get into anything like that again, one big learning experience!
soconfusedreally Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Why is it so hard to see when you are in the middle of it....but after the fact when someone spells it out for you...it all makes so much sense. Things we know with our head often get pushed aside by our hearts. We all know we deserve (ed) better. Now we just know we have to keep moving on and not settle for less. Although it was a tough one, it was a lesson we all learned.
curiousnycgirl Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Why is it so hard to see when you are in the middle of it....but after the fact when someone spells it out for you...it all makes so much sense. Things we know with our head often get pushed aside by our hearts. We all know we deserve (ed) better. Now we just know we have to keep moving on and not settle for less. Although it was a tough one, it was a lesson we all learned. Because we are in love. I loved him and trusted him until that moment that he started screaming and yelling at me that everything I thought I was doing for us was emasculating him. It was at that moment that I realized that the man that I loved with my whole being hated me. I cannot begin to express how painful that realization was and continues to be.
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