OceanTropic Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I think women handle it better. Women cry and sob and talk to their friends and family, whereas men tend to keep it all inside, and never share their emotions. I think this makes it harder for them. What do you guys think? On that note, I noticed that many of my guy friends, after a breakup, go around having so much sex, and continuously dating girls they aren't even really interested in. Why do they do this? Is this a tactic to forget? Or to boost their confidence?
OpenGL Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Despite common wisdom, women do not "break up". They just move from relationship to relationship uninterrupted when a looking guy comes along. Marriage or not. Don't believe me? Why is our divorce rate 60%? All of which are initiated by women.
alphamale Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 What do you guys think? i think you're right On that note, I noticed that many of my guy friends, after a breakup, go around having so much sex, and continuously dating girls they aren't even really interested in. Why do they do this? Is this a tactic to forget? Or to boost their confidence? its just something to do until they find another girl they like...remember, idle genitals are the devils workshop
betamanlet Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I think women handle it better. Women cry and sob and talk to their friends and family, whereas men tend to keep it all inside, and never share their emotions. I think this makes it harder for them. What do you guys think? On that note, I noticed that many of my guy friends, after a breakup, go around having so much sex, and continuously dating girls they aren't even really interested in. Why do they do this? Is this a tactic to forget? Or to boost their confidence? Whomever has the most options available. An alpha male can handle breakups fine, because he knows he's going to get other women in the future The vast majority of women have lots of options, so they realize there will be someone in the future A beta male ALWAYS thinks this is his last chance, so he is absolutely devestated during a breakup.
Pizzaman81 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I think women handle it better. Women cry and sob and talk to their friends and family, whereas men tend to keep it all inside, and never share their emotions. I think this makes it harder for them. What do you guys think? On that note, I noticed that many of my guy friends, after a breakup, go around having so much sex, and continuously dating girls they aren't even really interested in. Why do they do this? Is this a tactic to forget? Or to boost their confidence? Hmm it's hard to say. There's a whole spectrum of personalities in both men and women. There are some women who goes crazy, and there's women who are calm. There are some men who are calm, and some men who go cra.... well actually, we rarely go crazy, we just cry while getting drunk.
Pizzaman81 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Whomever has the most options available. An alpha male can handle breakups fine, because he knows he's going to get other women in the future The vast majority of women have lots of options, so they realize there will be someone in the future A beta male ALWAYS thinks this is his last chance, so he is absolutely devestated during a breakup. Not true. It's about the emotional attachment. Just cuz a guy have lots of options doesn't mean he is not devastated by a breakup from someone he loved. Man your views are so narrow dude. d00d.
Author OceanTropic Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 Despite common wisdom, women do not "break up". They just move from relationship to relationship uninterrupted when a looking guy comes along. Marriage or not. Don't believe me? Why is our divorce rate 60%? All of which are initiated by women. Not true. How many women can't move on because they are still getting over their exes? And even though this may be true for SOME women, men do the same!! They can just go from relationship to relationship, how do you think they got the reputation of being the ones who always cheat? (women do this too, but men are seen more likely to cheat than a woman)
alphamale Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 An alpha male can handle breakups fine, because he knows he's going to get other women in the future i would say that is fairly true....women are like buses, if you stand at the bus stop long enough another bus will come along
betamanlet Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Not true. It's about the emotional attachment. Just cuz a guy have lots of options doesn't mean he is not devastated by a breakup from someone he loved. Man your views are so narrow dude. d00d. Well, I'm just saying it's not as bad as for a beta male. I know alphas who have been upset even when THEY dumped their girlfriends. Thing is, they just think "oh well, better bang some new chick this week" whereas I realize "wow, I'd be really lu cky to get a new girl within 3 years of a dumping or breakup". I've been on TWO dates since my ex dumped me in 2007. TWO dates. That's why I don't handle breakups that well, because I've never had the options that alphas have..
meerkat stew Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 It depends on the power dynamic in the relationship. Whoever the dumper is, male or female, is going to have a much easier time than the dumpee. Now it's true that women do more dumping than men, don't know exactly how much, just more. Another factor is respective experience level. Whomever has more experience in more different relationships will probably take it better and heal easier. After going through the process enough, you start to realize there's another one right around the corner, and looking forward to that goes a long way towards getting over a flawed relationship.
alphamale Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I've been on TWO dates since my ex dumped me in 2007. TWO dates... i went on two dates last weekend
Pizzaman81 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 i would say that is fairly true....women are like buses, if you stand at the bus stop long enough another bus will come along Really though? is part of the "being devastated" because one would think "I will NEVER find another person again!!' "because only reason why i am in a relationship is not because I like the person, it's because I have no other choice! and now it's GONE!!" I doubt it. I get really down after a breakup from ones I initiate because I miss the good parts of my ex's and I know that some of those values are hard to come by. But I can pretty easily get another person if I work on the relationship.
Pizzaman81 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 i went on two dates last weekend I went on 3 dates in the past 3 days. HA! Wait.. that's still 1 date/day... hmm ok we're even
betamanlet Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I went on 3 dates in the past 3 days. HA! Wait.. that's still 1 date/day... hmm ok we're even Well, I have a drawer full of socks. I call it my herum.
D-Jam Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 The person who handles it better is the person that wanted it to end and/or the person who has a ready replacement for the now ex. So man and woman break up, and next week the woman is with a new guy dating, laughing; while the guy is at home feeling terrible. You get the point. And yes...it goes in reverse too...meaning there are men who have a new GF instantly while the ex is at home crying over ice cream.
Author OceanTropic Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 Speaking of all this date business, do people lower their standards the older they get when it comes to dating? It seems to me that the older you get, it gets harder to find a partner, so do people lower their standards? Is this why they get many dates? And do those who uphold their standards find it harder to find someone they like?
Pizzaman81 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Speaking of all this date business, do people lower their standards the older they get when it comes to dating? It seems to me that the older you get, it gets harder to find a partner, so do people lower their standards? Is this why they get many dates? And do those who uphold their standards find it harder to find someone they like? Hmm not unless you up your own standards of yourself. I realize the older I get... (i haven't gone through too many years of being old yet, i'm 28), I up my own looks, dress style, health, way of thinking, etc. And I expect to find women who are equally like that. So no as I get older, I will have higher expectations.
meerkat stew Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Speaking of all this date business, do people lower their standards the older they get when it comes to dating? It seems to me that the older you get, it gets harder to find a partner, so do people lower their standards? Is this why they get many dates? And to those who uphold their standards find it harder to find someone they like? At 45, mine keep going up. I've never dated as many hot and otherwise desirable (on paper at least) women during the rest of my life combined as I have in the last 5 years. This has to do with a certain "table turning" phenomena that men who stay unattached and in shape have to look forward to as much as any suavity or charisma on my part.
sumdude Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Not true. How many women can't move on because they are still getting over their exes? And even though this may be true for SOME women, men do the same!! They can just go from relationship to relationship, how do you think they got the reputation of being the ones who always cheat? (women do this too, but men are seen more likely to cheat than a woman) Thanks for saying women are 'seen' to be more faithful. Both are just as likely to cheat, I just think women are smarter at it. The myth of women being more faithful helps too. On that note, I noticed that many of my guy friends, after a breakup, go around having so much sex, and continuously dating girls they aren't even really interested in. Why do they do this? Is this a tactic to forget? Or to boost their confidence? Oh I've seen some recent divorcee women go on a sexual rampage so there's no difference. Though i think it's more likely when a woman is in her 30's and up. Hence the whole cougar thing now.
threebyfate Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 We just had another identical thread like this, not too long ago. It's not gender specific. It's reliant on coping tools of individuals. The ones that take many years to move on, are as follows: Low self-esteem individuals who self-flagellate, to the point where they're not incapable of moving on, savouring the bitterness and pain, rather than moving on and experiencing healthy emotions with someone who cares about them.The out-sized ego types who can't believe that someone would walk away from a gem like them.Traumatic break up due to cheating or other forms of abuse.
carhill Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Generally, the most emotionally aware person with the best support system handles the end of a relationship best. Usually, that's a woman, but not necessarily. Moving from partner to partner doesn't necessarily equate to 'handling it better'. Often, the deeper emotional issues are stuffed down and covered over with superficial sexual and convenient ego feeds. If it goes on too long, the deeper stuff resurfaces and the mourning and disconnection process takes place far down the road, often ending what would otherwise be healthy relationships. Speaking of all this date business, do people lower their standards the older they get when it comes to dating? I think standards change and are refined. I know, relating to the women I pursue now and date, my standards are far different than when I met my stbx over a decade ago. Far more specific, with a better understanding of what is truly important for compatibility. Everyone's experiences will necessarily be different. I see a fair amount of 'good-looking' women in my age group, but if little else is presented, I prefer to spend my time and energy on other pursuits.
You'reasian Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I think women handle it better. Women cry and sob and talk to their friends and family, whereas men tend to keep it all inside, and never share their emotions. I think this makes it harder for them. What do you guys think? On that note, I noticed that many of my guy friends, after a breakup, go around having so much sex, and continuously dating girls they aren't even really interested in. Why do they do this? Is this a tactic to forget? Or to boost their confidence? Has little to do with gender and everything to do with personality. One of my lady friends who went through a divorce, stayed away from dating until she was healthy again; another one went wild, crazy and got accquainted with the town lol One of my buddies who broke up with his gf just stayed low-key but met women as friends first; another one went to strip clubs. It just depends on personality
BG1985 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Thanks for saying women are 'seen' to be more faithful. Both are just as likely to cheat, I just think women are smarter at it. The myth of women being more faithful helps too. Oh I've seen some recent divorcee women go on a sexual rampage so there's no difference. Though i think it's more likely when a woman is in her 30's and up. Hence the whole cougar thing now. Women get away with cheating more because they are better liars than men and are better at detecting lies than men. I suppose it's a self-reinforcing idea since your ability to lie depends on lie-detecting abilities of the person you wish to deceive. This is due to the fact that women have a more natural ability to read body language than men.
betamanlet Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Women get away with cheating more because they are better liars than men and are better at detecting lies than men. I suppose it's a self-reinforcing idea since your ability to lie depends on lie-detecting abilities of the person you wish to deceive. This is due to the fact that women have a more natural ability to read body language than men. I don't think it's that way, it's more that they can better "justify" cheating to themselves. "I can do better" so she no longer owes loyalty because he is "beneath her"
DiscoChick Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I am not a man, and when I broke up with my ex, I did not share all my emotions and feelings with my friends. I kept them inside until I dealt with them. I don't need other people to deal with my own emotions. It's nice to have someone saying "you're better than this" or "you're a strong woman" when I'm going through a crisis, but I've heard it enough to know it by now. I can deal with things on my own. Call me practical, but no other person can read my emotions like I can. I own up to them; I accept them and move on.
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