giotto Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 BTW, my wife had the urge to passionately have sex a couple of days ago. Unexpected but certainly welcome. Odd...it had only been a month or so. well, James, I'm very happy for you... you deserve it! I hope you still remembered what to do... Sorry for you. Things change both ways. They get better and they get worse. I am guessing that you know Wellbutrin is an antidepressant that theoretically does not affect the libido. Perhaps you could encourage her to try it. The question is...does the antidepressant cause her low libido or is it inside of her? She's been taking the same ADs (paroxetine) for a long time, so I'm not surprised they stopped working... she won't listen to me regarding ADs... I have tried. If I suggest something that might not affect her libido, she will feel under pressure and things will go out of the window... I'm actually quite concerned about her and to be honest I don't really care about sex at this stage if she is not mentally well... On a side note... all this is getting a bit too much for me and I don't know how much more I can take... sorry to sound defeatist, but it's how I feel at the moment...
JamesM Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 well, James, I'm very happy for you... you deserve it! I hope you still remembered what to do... Thank you. I read my instruction manual first. I'm actually quite concerned about her and to be honest I don't really care about sex at this stage if she is not mentally well... I feel for you and understand the feeling. I have been there where to me her health is more important than sex. I guess that has not changed ever, but sometimes it takes precedent. It is understandable how an unwell woman won't want sex, so it is easier to put the desire aside. It is when she is healthy and doesn't want sex that it becomes frustrating. BTW, I tried to get my wife on Wellbutrin, but it didn't work either. Now that she has been off antidepressants for many months, I know that it wasn't ADs anyhow. On a side note... all this is getting a bit too much for me and I don't know how much more I can take... sorry to sound defeatist, but it's how I feel at the moment... Man...do I know how you feel. Hang in there. The days do get better again as you may already know, but sometimes it seems that things will never change. When all hope seems to disappear, that is when the days get darkest. The question why seems to be a scream in your mind. And yet you hang on because there seems to be a faint glimmer of hope somewhere back there. And when it isn't obvious, you weigh the pros and cons and decide that maybe just another day or two will be worth a try. I know...truly. Keep posting.
Toodamnpragmatic Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 well, James, I'm very happy for you... you deserve it! I hope you still remembered what to do... She's been taking the same ADs (paroxetine) for a long time, so I'm not surprised they stopped working... she won't listen to me regarding ADs... I have tried. If I suggest something that might not affect her libido, she will feel under pressure and things will go out of the window... I'm actually quite concerned about her and to be honest I don't really care about sex at this stage if she is not mentally well... On a side note... all this is getting a bit too much for me and I don't know how much more I can take... sorry to sound defeatist, but it's how I feel at the moment... Sometimes I forget how fragile things can be. My spouse is on a number of scripts, but absolutely none are AD's or would have those types of side affects. Life sometimes is just so complicated. Best of luck....
giotto Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I'll definitively hang on in there... it's just depressing because things seemed to be much better... BTW, she is not depressed, just anxiety... thank you for the support...
Toodamnpragmatic Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 I'll definitively hang on in there... it's just depressing because things seemed to be much better... BTW, she is not depressed, just anxiety... thank you for the support... If it's not depression, it is anxiety or stress...... Many males consider stress caused by lack of sex and thus the ultimate stress reliever....
giotto Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 If it's not depression, it is anxiety or stress...... Many males consider stress caused by lack of sex and thus the ultimate stress reliever.... Tell me that! She also has repetitive (recurrent) thoughts... well, yes, she is a bit of a nutter!
JamesM Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 Life sometimes is just so complicated. That says it all.
tinktronik Posted February 12, 2010 Posted February 12, 2010 On meds, off meds... seems to make no difference. Honestly, in my SO's mind I think we were always "working up" to sex and this creates some anxiety in him that makes sex impossible. I've decided to move along, there's just too many issues on his part that leave me as the "life force" for both of us; sexually and other. Sex became the issue that would either make it or break it and now it's just broken. I'm urging him to pull his life together as I am out the door within the next year and I really don't know what will happen to him if he does not do something to put something sustainable into action. The "why" will drive you to distraction and you'll never figure it out. My SO urged me to stop bothering him with my "need" for sex and to find it elsewhere one time too many and I finally did. I had forgotten how uncomplicated sex could be. It was just the reminder that I needed after 8 years with someone who withheld sex. Strangely, after telling my SO that I had taken his advice he wanted to have sex, this is just unbelievable to me....
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