chloe1408 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 i phoned my ex to get my stuff back, its been 6 weeks. anyway it turned into a huge row and i just feel so lost. we used to be so in love (were together over a year) and to hear him saying he hates me is jsut awful. he even threatened to burn my house down!!!!! i guess its finally the push i needed tho now i know he;s over me and isnt comign back.
counterman Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Sometimes we hold on to lingering feelings of what was and what was said and we continue to believe that there is still a chance that we will be getting back with our ex. No matter what we tell ourselves, deep down we still want to get back together. Even our ex was not perfect and there were arguments, we still want that secure feeling of being with someone. It is good that you realise he is not coming back now and that he is over you. You deserve better than being told that you are hated and being threatened. If you have any more stuff there, just leave it if it is not important. It is not worth going through all that again. Stay strong and know that better days are ahead.
cdt76 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 It is so hard. I know. I feel your pain and just know you are not alone. I come to work everyday and I check this site just to talk about it and feel it and try to learn to live without the love I once had. There are no answers, only waking up each day.
Catseye8 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Chloe, I'm sure this guy wasn't like this when you were together, but he sounds like something of a nightmare now. He threatened to burn down your house, and you're not even the one that initiated the breakup? (Not that threats of violence or destruction would be appropriate anyway, but come on!) I know that makes it awful and confusing on top of everything else; I'm really sorry. What's worked for me in these kind of situations is to think in terms of the person in question having vanished. They've been teleported to a parallel universe. They're gone. Sadly, they've been replaced by an evil body double that looks like them and sometimes sounds like them, and that makes things confusing. Minimise contact with the evil twin, don't expect them to act or react like the vanished person would have done, and protect yourself and your heart as best you can. If the vanished person ever comes back, well, you can cross that bridge when you come to it - but you can't control them coming back, and you certainly don't want a relationship with the evil twin, and you have to remind yourself repeatedly that it's not your fault they got bodysnatched in the first place.
LikeABirdWhoFlew Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 What's worked for me in these kind of situations is to think in terms of the person in question having vanished. They've been teleported to a parallel universe. They're gone. Sadly, they've been replaced by an evil body double that looks like them and sometimes sounds like them, and that makes things confusing. Minimise contact with the evil twin, don't expect them to act or react like the vanished person would have done, and protect yourself and your heart as best you can. If the vanished person ever comes back, well, you can cross that bridge when you come to it - but you can't control them coming back, and you certainly don't want a relationship with the evil twin, and you have to remind yourself repeatedly that it's not your fault they got bodysnatched in the first place. Wow, what a great analogy! Reading that made me feel a little better. Thanks.
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