LL23 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 OK...I have been in a long distance relationship with my bf for a year now. We met at the airport and hit it off really great! He was previously married and has two duaghters who are great. He is honeslty one of the nicest guys I know and in just one ear we have done so much. When we are good we are really good but when we fight we are both hotheaded. My lease is ending in 3 months and I planned on moving down there to be with him and the kids. It seems that whenever we get into a fight he shuts down and he can go hours to days with NC. It drives me insane!!!! One time he did it for two weeks and out of insanity I ended up flying down there and everything turned out ok. He has a very demanding job and a lot of responsibilities..He is 11 years older..I am 27 and I only have a 9-5 job and i come home lonely and bored...Lately I have had alot of insecurities and jealousies coming out from past relationships and I have been taking them out on him and I guess taking for granted that he cares so much. A week and a half ago he flew up to see me after an international flight with his job. We ended up fighting and when he went home he sheddded a couple tears and said mayb we werent compatible...he gave me a kiss on the lips and got out of the car. Ofcourse I broke down crying and later that night me and him talked. We had a long conversation on how he was in a miserable marrige and the last thing he wants is me living with him and us arguing. I asked him if he was going to give us another chance. I told him I would go to counseling for my issues. He said he didnt know. We talked the next morning and he text me a couple times for the next couple days...then since last friday i have not heard anything from him. Saturday was our one year ann and he didnt call...i started texting him and asking him to tell me if we were over with so i could move on and he said nothing. He left on a international trip on monday and comes back sat...his kids are still calling me like normal and i am really confused...dont know what to do or think???? any ideas????? Im miserable
DustySaltus Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 LL, I can tell you that my ex-fiance was a very jealous and insecure person. It's just something I can't see myself dealing with in future relationships. I don't know why him and his ex-wife broke up but if it had anything to do with what's happening between you two, he just might not want to go down the same path again. I do think you should have a conversation with him about what's going to happen because of the fact kids are involved. If they continue to call you when you're not together it will make it difficult for both of you to move forward. At the end of the day the best way to get a second chance is to not expect it and move towards making yourself a better person. Don't go to the counseling sessions for HIM, do it for YOU. In the long run whether or not you are together it will help you be equiped for stronger relationships down the line. Have a final conversation with him and let us know how it goes.
Author LL23 Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) Hey..thanks for the advice...im definately doing the counseling to better myself, but i cant lie. I am hoping it can show him that I am working on the underlying issues. I am at the point right now that I do realize how much I dont want to lose him over something like this...I am hoping he will eventually contact me so we can have that final convo...that right now is whats making me nervous...not sure what he is thinking. In the meantime, his kids have called and text everyday about there drama in school..so in the long run it will be more like losing 3 people instead of one..reallly hard Dusty....why did you and ur ex fiance split???? For the jealousy and insecurity? Edited January 29, 2010 by LL23
Author LL23 Posted February 1, 2010 Author Posted February 1, 2010 I feel so sick because i dont know what to do or think anymore. I deserve a conversation as to where we stand and his kids call me every single day. His phone is turned off and he isnt even getting his kids or talking to them which is very unlike him......so sad...please ADVICE anyone!!!!
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