carebear1017 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I don’t know where to start guys. Feels like whole life is kinda messed up. I’m totally confused. Seriously I don’t know what to do. ok let me tell you guys my story. Well its being almost about an year since we got together. she’s my first. and I’m 21 years old and so is she. I don’t know where to start. there have been soo many problems .first she said her parents don’t like our relation ship and she tried to broke up. and I begged and pleaded her not to do that. to be honest I was totally blind. i loved her madly. then again she said she likes someone else. and she said she’s confused. And it was torture. saying those stf ryt in my face. damnn. i don’t know how I survived. but I really didn’t bother abt it. i loved her. and still do. so I forgave her and I said we’ll carry on. but all the time she did was taking me for granted. guess I cared and loved too much. way too much. and there was couple of other breaking up situation as well. maybe js for a word she would say we’ll stop everything. but what ever happened we carried on. To be honest, there wasn’t much loving and caring from her part.i don’t know.i had to beg and pleadd her to stay with me. when ever she’s among her friends she’s totally happy and smiling. i don’t understand her. i mean with other guys she can smile and speak.. too damn sweet. and when shes with me..i don’t know guys. i gave her everything. as she was everything for me. i didn’t expect anything in return. only hoped she would love me and would be happy with me. but instead she shared her all love care and happiness with her friends. i was js an outsider. I’m asking am I expecting too much from her. After all she’s my girl. I’m js dying to stay with her. but she… and when shez with me shez always sad and upset.shez not smiling. So I decided no point of staying like this, we will end this. it’ll do good for both of us. i met her, and told her what I felt, and I told her that’s the best thing we should do. but she was totally upset and she said if I ever gonna leave her alone shes gonna commit suicide. Tell me what to do.i tried few times to break up .since there is no point of continuing. you know when ever I look at another couple I can see something in that girls eye. she’s smiling. but in my one I’m js being a sad pathetic girl and shez playing the guy. each and everyone whose concerned about me asked me to end this relation ship. in the very beginning. i was really blind those days and I couldn’t see a thing. But I can see now. shes not happy with me. but she says she cant live without me.WTH ???and to be honest , shes not a beauty queen. and everyone’s saying I deserve someone better. i don’t know, other girls js love to chat with me and stay with me. Why cant she be happy with me ? i dont understand guys.i loved her and still do.shes evertything for me.but what can i do if she doesnt feel the same way? If she cant live without me why cant she show some love and respect?? And I’m telling you she hasn’t told me that she loves me. Never ever. only in texts. and I haven’t kissed her. not even in the cheek. and I’m not allowed to hold her hand. when ever I do in the public she’ll get pissed and run away. and if touched hold her hand in not so public place theres no reaction guys. i don’t know. not even a glance. shez js like a statue. guys I need help. Though I tried to broke up several times she want let me. i don’t know the point here. its soo clear shes not in love with me. but why does she want me ??
FreeNow Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 why does she want me ?? Because she can get you. You can change that dynamic but it will take inner strength; completely worth it though. Life is a marathon and not a sprint. At 21 y/o you have the opportunity before you to lay a solid foundation for a fulfilling life. Choose happiness for you. Is this the way you want to be treated by another about which you care? If not then don't allow it. Set healthy personal boundaries and engage relationships that are mutually respectful. She doesn't respect you, IMHO.
FreeNow Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) she was totally upset and she said if I ever gonna leave her alone shes gonna commit suicide. Tell me what to do. We can't reliably control another and likely we wouldn't want to. What she does is her choice and her's alone. If she contacts you and says she is going to harm herself or another then call in professional help (911). Then, leave it be... as in none of your problem at that point. Anything less and she will use the threat, or worse earnestly try to go through with it, as a manipulation tool. Edited January 29, 2010 by FreeNow typo
dietpepsi Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I agree, i think most often suicide threats are used as a fear and control tactic. A friend of a family recently committed suicide over Xmas due to his fiancee breaking off their engagement. He didn't tell a soul. As i did a lot of research into suicides to help myself understand, that seemed to be common denominator, no one knew it was going to happen. But yes, do tell her family she is saying these things, and call 911 if she is threatening to do it. I know it seems that you are on less than good terms with her parents, but they will appreciate this information if they are any kind of parents at all.
DiscoChick Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I agree, i think most often suicide threats are used as a fear and control tactic. A friend of a family recently committed suicide over Xmas due to his fiancee breaking off their engagement. He didn't tell a soul. They never do 95% of the time, it would sort of kill the point. This girl wants attention and needs it, but you cannot give her the help she needs. You should talk to her parents and other family members about what is going on with her. Do not feel as if what she does is to be carried around on your shoulders. She is capable of making her own decisions. Don't let her drag you down with her. Help her get assistance and separate yourself from her. It's okay to still be there as a friend, but this relationship is not healthy for you.
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