she's not in love with me.but she's saying she wants me.

[carebear1017]

I don’t know where to start guys. Feels like whole life is kinda messed up. I’m totally confused. Seriously I don’t know what to do. ok let me tell you guys my story.

Well its being almost about an year since we got together. she’s my first. and I’m 21 years old and so is she. I don’t know where to start. there have been soo many problems .first she said her parents don’t like our relation ship and she tried to broke up. and I begged and pleaded her not to do that. to be honest I was totally blind. i loved her madly. then again she said she likes someone else. and she said she’s confused. And it was torture. saying those stf ryt in my face. damnn. i don’t know how I survived. but I really didn’t bother abt it. i loved her. and still do. so I forgave her and I said we’ll carry on. but all the time she did was taking me for granted. guess I cared and loved too much. way too much. and there was couple of other breaking up situation as well. maybe js for a word she would say we’ll stop everything. but what ever happened we carried on.

To be honest, there wasn’t much loving and caring from her part.to be honest nothing at all.i don’t know.i had to beg and pleadd her to stay with me. when ever she’s among her friends she’s totally happy and smiling. i don’t understand her. i mean with other guys she can smile and speak, sooo damn sweeet.and when shes with me..i don’t know guys. i gave her everything. as she was everything for me. i didn’t expect anything in return. only hoped she would love me and would be happy with me. but instead she shared her all love care and happiness with her friends. i was js an outsider. I’m asking am I expecting too much from her. After all she’s my girl. I’m js dying to stay with her. but she…

and when shez with me shez always sad and upset.shez not smiling. So I decided no point of staying like this, we will end this. it’ll do good for both of us. i met her, and told her what I felt, and I told her that’s the best thing we should do. but she was totally upset and she said if I ever gonna leave her alone shes gonna commit suicide. Tell me what to do.i tried few times to break up .since there is no point of continuing. you know when ever I look at another couple I can see something in that girls eye. she’s smiling. but in my one I’m js being a sad pathetic girl and shez playing the guy. each and everyone whose concerned about me asked me to end this relation ship. in the very beginning. i was really blind those days and I couldn’t see a thing. But I can see now. shes not happy with me. but she says she cant live without me.WTH ???and to be honest , shes not a beauty queen. and everyone’s saying I deserve someone better. i don’t know, other girls js love to chat with me and stay with me. Why cant she be happy with me ?

If she cant live without me why cant she show some love and respect?? And I’m telling you she hasn’t told me that she loves me. Never ever. only in texts. and I haven’t kissed her. not even in the cheek. and I’m not allowed to hold her hand. when ever I do in the public she’ll get pissed and run away. and if touched hold her hand in not so public place theres no reaction guys. i don’t know. not even a glance. shez js like a statue. guys I need help.

Though I tried to broke up several times she want let me. i don’t know the point here. its soo clear shes not in love with me. but why does she want me ??

[LucreziaBorgia]

but why does she want me ??

 

She wants you to be her 'daddy', not her lover. The 'daddy' boyfriend is the one who takes the place of her father: he gives without expecting anything in return, he loves unconditionally, he keeps his distance and lets her 'grow' and 'experience things', he waits up late for her in a place that she can come back to for safety if she needs it, and blows him off when she doesn't.

 

Basically, you are the security, the fallback plan, the platonic caretaker, etc while she gets to go out and pursue guys that she sees in a sexual way.

 

She will never love you like a lover. You are the cuddle buddy, the 'daddy', the platonic caretaker, the walking wallet. The security blanket. She will confide things in you, turn to you in times of need - but have sex with you and treat you like a lover? Nope.

 

What to do? Demand NC, grieve your loss and move on. If she tries to contact you, cut her off in whichever way you can and block as many ways to reach you as you can. If she threatens suicide - that's a simple fix. When she does, hang up, call 911 or whatever the emergency number is for you and report a suicide in progress and send them to her place. People who do stuff like that cry wolf, but often really do need that kind of help. If she doesn't and she was just being manipulative, then she can explain to the authorities why she is wasting their time by using a serious thing like a threat of suicide as a manipulation trick. She won't threaten it after that, that's for sure.

[carebear1017]

thanks a lot for your valuable advice,LucreziaBorgia.

yes i think i'm js a cuddle buddy.it kinda hurts though.true its the truth.but i did everything.

do you think there are nicer gals out there ??

or everyone is the same ???!!

giving all your love , but finally theres nothing.

damnn it hurts.

[LucreziaBorgia]

do you think there are nicer gals out there ??

or everyone is the same ???!!

 

Yes, there are far nicer women out there, and no everyone is not the same, thankfully. There isn't much of a point in looking though, until your head and heart are put back together a little bit. Right now, all your heart would be capable of doing is comparing every girl to her, and your mind would trick you into thinking that they don't measure up to her.

 

Give yourself time, lots - until you find yourself literally not caring at all about this girl. Then you'll be ready to see what better things are out there for you.