All I ever had.

[XKatieX]

Its only been a few days since he choose someone else over me. I wasn't completely surprised when he told me because it would make sense as to why he wasn't showing me he cared, and why I didn't feel like I was his only one anymore.

Whats hurting me the most right now is how much changed. He is all I ever had, and I was all he ever had.

 

Now suddenly, he had someone he was just waiting to call someone..and yet he never once told me. We get into an argument, I tell him if he doesn't want to be with me find someone else, 5 mins later he tells me he called someone and asked them out. Hes a very honest person, who even said himself if he ever met someone, he would tell me it was over. Instead he waits until something happens, and then shuts me out completely.

 

The funny thing is, I called him out on a couple times when he threatened me before with "I could have someone by tomorrow if I wanted" and when I told him he must have someone in mind, he says IM the one being immature..well turns out he really did have someone in mind.

 

I will say though that our relationship really took its toll, what was once an amazing relationship, became completely sabotaged by the stupid fights we had. I admit my feelings haven't been the same for him..and neither was his. But I never gave up, and I never stopped caring. He told me he was done about 2 months ago, and he came back a month later. We decided to try things again and now here we are, but now there is someone else.

 

I couldn't count on my fingers and toes how many times we've broken up, we've always came back to each other..there was always something there. After we broke up and got back together, I put so much time and effort into this guy..just to show him I cared, hoping he did the same. I told him I wanted to get back that amazing relationship we had. I did things I used to do when we first met, I wrote him a poem, long messages, emails..etc. And none of it worked, he had the nerve to say that I wasn't doing anything for him and that if I wanted change, it would have to start with me. I did try hard..he just didn't want to put anything into it.

 

I would like to be able to ask him, why he wasn't upfront with me about it..we've had many spats since we've gotten back together, and just days before he told me about this person..so why didn't he tell me then, why suddenly now?

 

I'm just shocked.

Edited January 28, 2010 by XKatieX

[GrayClouds]

sorry Katie for your pain, do not try to make sense out of it right now it will not do you any good. Right now just focus on what you need to do to help yourself heal.

 

Be kind to yourself.

[DiscoChick]

When my ex broke up with me the third and final time, I was disappointed. I wasn't really hurt that he broke up with me. I was hurt that he said he didn't know how to tell me. I didn't understand this. I didn't understand where I had gone wrong. Why would a man leave a woman that was willing to do anything for him? Why would a man leave a woman that loved him beyond understanding? I figured it is because he does not know what he wants. He did not even try and give me an answer when I asked him why. He did not know. He and I did the rollercoaster thing three times. Our friendship/relationship lasted over a span of four years.

 

I would love that friendship back, and he probably knows this, but I know him. He is going to see that he made a horrible mistake, and I don't want to be rubbing it in his face. When a person does not want to be happy, there is nothing anyone can do to help him/her. Maybe your ex just needs time to try something new so that he can know he made the right decision in choosing you. I don't know. All I can say is, my daddy never once told me I was a princess, but he told me I am strong. He told me that a strong relationship with God will get me through anything.

 

God got me through my father's death. God got me through those three breakups, and God is going to send me someone that is worthy of my love. I know this. I will never say that my ex was all I ever had, but I will say that God is all I ever need, and I am thankful beyond belief for the beautiful experience of love that I have had. I hope that you'll be able to sit down and work this situation out with yourself. Take the time away from him to focus on you and what makes you happy. Ask yourself important questions. Can you really live without him? Yes. He is capable of living without you. Show him you are strong enough to do the same. Work on empowering yourself.