Itzonator Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 This is a bit of a touchy issue, and I could really use some advice. My boyfriend has long hair, a bit past his shoulders. I'm not crazy about long hair on guys but it hasn't bothered me before since I love him. Even before we started dating I thought he was adorable and didn't mind the hair. Now it's starting to bug me because he's basically indicated that he plans on never cutting it unless he goes bald or lands an amazing job that requires it. He said the youngest he ever would is 35. Since he's only 22 (just turned this week), I thought it was a passing phase or whatever. A lot of young, musical/creative guys have long hair. But I seriously don't know if I could be with a guy who has really long hair way into adulthood. Over a certain age it would become a huge turn off to me. It probably wouldn't be a deal breaker, but it would really bother me. I know it's superficial but to me it looks juvenile and dirty on an older guy. I view it as the equivalent of a man dressing as a ratty teenager for life. This all came up because about a week ago he mentioned to me that he sometimes toys with the idea of cutting his hair and asked me if I'd like that. At the time I didn't want to offend him so I said, "whatever you want." I thought about it and brought it up again last night and said tactfully to him that if he wanted to cut his hair, I might find it cute. Immediately I could tell he was torn. He moaned and groaned and finally said he couldn't do it, that he was too attached to his hair. He said that it's been long since he was ten, and he had to endure teasing as a kid for his hair, so it's sort of a matter of pride or something. He said he might consider cutting it over the summer, but he wasn't sure. I dropped the issue as he clearly doesn't want to cut it. It seems to be a major part of his identity. But before I dropped it I told him that while I can't tell him to do something he doesn't want to, I need him to know that he never ever cut it that would bother me. I know it seems silly, but I can't deny how I feel. Any advice? Ok, triming the hair is based on comfort, not style. I think you did just fine, being direct with him of what really bothers you. Perhaps he appreciates this, because you communicate with him about it. Next time you do something for him, something that he was bothered by you. Sacrifices are important in any relationships.
Itzonator Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 Shadow has her reasons for posting it in this section. I didn't know we have a new forum police on here. I read that thread but didn't comment on it. As long as you guys are happy with the outcome then who can tell you it's not love, right? Police ? No .. call me the fireman
Ruby Slippers Posted February 16, 2010 Posted February 16, 2010 The idea grew on him... Pun intended? Fun. I LOOOOOVE cutting my boyfriend's hair. I have done it for every guy I've been in a relationship with, and they love it. They always get compliments on the cut, and I think it's TOTALLY HOT. I put him in a chair on a hard floor (so it's easy to clean up), put on "salon music" = music the guy likes that is relaxing and chill, cut his hair with love and care, get a bowl of hot water, shaving cream, the razor, and shave his sideburns and back of the neck. Then I get in the shower with him, wash his hair for him, give him a scalp massage, and get all the stray hairs off. I think that participating in each other's grooming routine is one of the hottest and sweetest things you can do.
Enema Posted February 17, 2010 Posted February 17, 2010 I can see from your other thread that you cut his hair for him on the weekend. Good job! Looks like this guy in your thread was on the money, someone should give him a cash prize? From your OP, he doesn't really sound all that locked into his hair as you make out. I reckon he'll cut it well before 35.
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