pandagirl Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 So he's moving. It's always been on the table as a possibility; he's kept me in the loop with updates, since he first told me it was a possibility, and yesterday the decision became final. Though we've only been dating for less than two months, we decided what we have is too good not to try a LDR. He's very positive about it, and says that we'll visit each other every 3 weeks, and that he WANTS it to work. I agree. We have to at least try, but I also have practical nagging doubts. He is planning on moving back when his finances are more in order, which could be 3 months or 9 months. I get the feeling he is more invested in this than I am. I care about him very much, and I can see myself falling for him in due time, but I don't have that time right now. I'm a person who needs my feelings to develop slowly, but surely, and this situation isn't allowing that. I don't want to break it off, but I am scared that things could go horribly wrong. What to do?
Art_Critic Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 A clean break at this point is the best... He might move back in 3 months.. WTF ? why even move at all.. it takes 3 months just to get set up. If his finances are not in order and he is having to move to alter that and it will only take 3-9 months to straighten it all out I would say that he is not a responsible person money wise or you are only getting part of the story. I personally would never do a LDR that has this kind of foundation.. Is he moving back to his old stomping grounds ? and is there an old GF there ?
Author pandagirl Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 (edited) The situation is complicated, but it has to do with work + family/work. He ended up doing the same move last year when he lost his job, and moved back three months later. Don't know if there is a gf back home -- at least recent -- but I doubt it, since he hasn't spent much time there since he left for college. He is responsible with money, like I mentioned in another thread, he's an architect and every architect I know is out of a job right now. Edited January 28, 2010 by pandagirl
Crazy Magnet Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Sometimes an LDR provides a format to truly get to know a person without all the lust mixed in with things. It may give you the opportunity to talk more and really get to know one another. To me, it seem feasible to make it work for 3 to 9 months, as there is a definite end point to when he would be coming back, and honestly, it's not that long. Web cams and such really decrease the distance these days. The worst care scenerio is you go for it, and it doesn't work or you change your mind. The best case is you go for it, and it works.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 PG, you knew he was moving but you decided to continue seeing him anyways. You had more than enough time up until this point to break it off. Why are you staying with him? Really? Are you afraid to be alone? Is he just a crutch until a new guy comes along? You're not willing to go along with the LDR already tells me you rather not put in the efforts because it's too much of a bother.
littlebittle Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 it might be terrible and you guys will have to break up, or it might be perfectly fine and you guys will do well. try it.
alphamale Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I don't want to break it off, but I am scared that things could go horribly wrong. What to do? LDRs generally don't work so i say break it off with the intention of maybe getting back together when he comes back for good, assuming both of you are available at that point in time
Author pandagirl Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 PG, you knew he was moving but you decided to continue seeing him anyways. You had more than enough time up until this point to break it off. Why are you staying with him? Really? Are you afraid to be alone? Is he just a crutch until a new guy comes along? You're not willing to go along with the LDR already tells me you rather not put in the efforts because it's too much of a bother. Why would I break it off with someone I get along with fabulously and genuinely like? I'm definitely not a person who fears being alone, in fact, I quite thrive being "alone." It's more having a boyfriend that is uncomfortable to me.... I want to be with him...but I'm just trying to think logically...
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