saddy Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Hi, Two days ago, I had told my gf that yesterday I would go to the gym, then spend the rest of the night with her. But right after gym, one of my buddy suggested to get drinks. I wanted to go home, but on the other hand, I'm new in the area and I'm trying to socialize so I went with the group. By doing so, I forgot my phone in my car so I could tell her I'd be late. One beer transformed into another... and I went back to my car, it was already late and I had many missed calls from her... When I called her, she was crying, saying that she was worried for me! Well, after I got home, thinking I would have to spend the night alone, she finally told me to come over. I thought that it was over but no. This morning she was still distant and pissed! And 2 weeks ago, it was another drama because I was joking with friends, acting as if I wanted them to introduce me to their girl neighbour... So... I'm confused... I would just like to do something to show her that I'm sorry, but what?
Author saddy Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 PS: I know this sounds completely silly, but for some reason, it's really bothering me because I love her and she makes me feel really guilty.
Ronni_W Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I would just like to do something to show her that I'm sorry, but what? First, apologize sincerely for acting without any thought of how your actions may impact her. Of course that was insensitive (to her feelings) to "joke" about wanting to be introduced to some other girl. Of course it was jerkish not to let her know that you weren't going to show up at the time to which you'd agreed. This is not "drama", this is you acting irresponsibly and insensitively, and having to deal with consequences of your own making. Ask her what you can now do to make amends. And then do it. Second, stop offering lame excuses. You could have, and should have, gone right back to your car and got your phone. Or, borrowed somebody else's phone inside the bar...and offered to pay them for the call, if that is going to be your next excuse. Or, asked to use the bar's phone. Or, kept looking until you found a pay phone. Third, keep your promises or let those affected know, in a timely manner, when you are unable to do so. she makes me feel really guilty. Are you sure that is not YOUR OWN guilty conscience speaking to you? Because, if it's not, then you will continue to act without regard for your g/f's feelings. It would be appropriate for you to feel guilty about how you've been treating her! It's your own attitude and behaviour that needs to change...*IF* you want this to be a relationship that will also work for your g/f. In any case, other people do not "make us" feel anything that wasn't already there to begin with -- if you're feeling guilty, it's that you already knew that what you did wasn't cool. As it is now, you're treating her like crap. If you continue on this path, don't be surprised when she dumps you -- it would be that she got your messages that she is unimportant to you and that her needs and feelings do not matter to you.
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