ella23 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I'd bet good money he isn't attracted you because of being pregnant, he lost attraction because you are a cheater. You want him to show you he loves you? is that too much to ask? Considering the circumstances....YES!!! It is YOU that needs to be busting YOUR ass to show him that you love him. You effed him over woman. He isn't just going to be all popping with love coming out of his eyeballs after what you did. The burden of initiating and showing affection now lies with you, not the other way around. YOU are the cheater here, remember? they're not together anymore.
Dexter Morgan Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I don't know why I cheated this is a bs answer from alot of cheaters. thats like saying you didn't know why you ate a piece of chocolate cake.....because it tastes good and you wanted it. You wanted to get pleasure from another guy, you wanted it, and you did it. real simple. the "I don't know why I did it" is an effort to avoid facing the truth.
mansquito Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 The right-to-lifers are going to slam me, but considering you are in your first trimester and are admittedly having these issues between the two men, perhaps an abortion is a consideration. You put it far more diplomatically than I was going to. The kindest thing to do for your former fiancee would be to never have any contact with him ever again, up to and including any sort of shared parenting. Get an abortion and get the hell out of his life.
mansquito Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Also, the psycho **** has to stop. You broke in to his phone? AFTER you cheated on him? Are you really that self-centered? You should be trawling the Jersey Shore for dates instead of continuing to torture this poor guy.
ella23 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 You put it far more diplomatically than I was going to. The kindest thing to do for your former fiancee would be to never have any contact with him ever again, up to and including any sort of shared parenting. Get an abortion and get the hell out of his life. It sounds like she wants the baby, from all that she's posted here. But since she is only 2 months pregnant, she should definitely consider an abortion. It's in the best interests of everyone involved in this mess.
samsungxoxo Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 I got to admit that if it was me in the OP's position, getting an abortion would be my decision. What's the point of either being a single mother (raising the kid all along in pain) or through joint custody. In the latter case, the kid will still suffer because that would mean being coming from place to place along with seeing the parents despising each other. In either ways, it's like a deathblow in the end. So it might not be a bad idea for the OP to consider that. Now back to the OP: Stop looking at his computer as you're no longer with him since it's quite clear he doesn't care about you no more and focus on what you want to get out in life, why you settle for losers, why do you have to seek validation if your needs aren't met and how will you raise the kid (if you decide to have it in the end).
lkjh Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Yes lets continue to use abortion as a means of birth control and a way to get out of our responsibility. The fiance never said he wanted nothing to do with the child, he wants proof that it is his. There is nothing wrong with that. Not owning up to her responsibility got her here in the first place and it won't get her out
samsungxoxo Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Yes lets continue to use abortion as a means of birth control and a way to get out of our responsibility. The fiance never said he wanted nothing to do with the child, he wants proof that it is his. There is nothing wrong with that. Not owning up to her responsibility got her here in the first place and it won't get her out That's the advantage of being a woman. We get to decide what will be done with our body and there's nothing the man can do.
Johnny M Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 You put it far more diplomatically than I was going to. The kindest thing to do for your former fiancee would be to never have any contact with him ever again, up to and including any sort of shared parenting. Get an abortion and get the hell out of his life. I disagree. It sounds like her fiance really wants the kid. Killing the fetus at this point would be yet another betrayal. The only right thing to do under the circumstances is to give birth to the baby and let the guy have custody. Then she can get out of his life.
sugar_and_spice Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 What she does with her body is her decision.
Johnny M Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 What she does with her body is her decision. Of course it's her decision. She has already decided to cheat on her loving fiance and now you are encouraging her to decide to kill his baby.
ella23 Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 She never indicated that she's considering abortion. That was a suggestion by one of the posters.
Johnny M Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 She never indicated that she's considering abortion. That was a suggestion by one of the posters. Yes, it was another poster's totally irresponsible and tactless suggestion. It's one thing to have an abstract debate about the whole pro-life/pro-abortion issue. But counseling somebody to actually get an abortion (especially when that person is as intellectually and morally challenged as the OP) without knowing and taking into consideration various other relevant factors, like the father's wishes for example, is totally irresponsible.
sugar_and_spice Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 (edited) Yes, it was another poster's totally irresponsible and tactless suggestion. It's one thing to have an abstract debate about the whole pro-life/pro-abortion issue. But counseling somebody to actually get an abortion (especially when that person is as intellectually and morally challenged as the OP) without knowing and taking into consideration various other relevant factors, like the father's wishes for example, is totally irresponsible. it is up to her really. In this situation, it would be understandable. Carrie is right, raising a child alone would be difficult, so maybe she should consider abortion. Edited January 30, 2010 by sugar_and_spice
Johnny M Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 it is up to her really. In this situation, it would be understandable. Carrie is right, raising a child alone would be difficult, so maybe she should consider this. Like I already said, of course it is up to her. Cheating was also up to her. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. She stated that her fiance wants full custody of the child, so she does not have to worry about raising the child. That would be the best course of action under the circumstances for everyone involved.
Trojan John Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 Like I already said, of course it is up to her. Cheating was also up to her. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. She stated that her fiance wants full custody of the child, so she does not have to worry about raising the child. That would be the best course of action under the circumstances for everyone involved. Technically, there is no "child", and the fiancé is not a "father" yet.
Johnny M Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Technically, there is no "child", and the fiancé is not a "father" yet. Child, fetus, whatever you want to call it. The semantics don't matter.
lkjh Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 That's the advantage of being a woman. We get to decide what will be done with our body and there's nothing the man can do. Yes I can completely agree that it is a womans decision to have sex, but using abortion as a means of birth control is flat out disgusting
sugar_and_spice Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Yes I can completely agree that it is a womans decision to have sex, but using abortion as a means of birth control is flat out disgusting how would abortion in this case be similar to birth control? It's not like she keeps on getting abortions done. But anyway , the op didn't say she wants one, so the argument is pointless.
stillafool Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 gosh, that poor fiance. I can't get the image of him crying in the bar out of my mind. He probably never, ever wants to see her face again. I hope for his sake the baby is the other guys so he can move on clear and free with his life.
samsungxoxo Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Did the OP sleep with the other man? She said that they didn't but did outercourse (fooling around and the other sexual acts). Many people don't count the other sexual acts (oral sex, anal, petting) as sex ever since former President Clinton. However, I can imagine for the one being cheated... it makes no difference because it's still cheating.
ella23 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 She said that they didn't but did outercourse (fooling around and the other sexual acts). Many people don't count the other sexual acts (oral sex, anal, petting) as sex ever since former President Clinton. However, I can imagine for the one being cheated... it makes no difference because it's still cheating. Oral and anal are as bad.......But I guess the OP already knows that. She hasn't posted in a while, I wonder what happened finally.
samsungxoxo Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 Oral and anal are as bad.......But I guess the OP already knows that. She hasn't posted in a while, I wonder what happened finally. Maybe she's in counseling working on her issues and figuring out how to be a good mother to the kid.
mansquito Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 She stated that her fiance wants full custody of the child, so she does not have to worry about raising the child. That would be the best course of action under the circumstances for everyone involved. Not necessarily. If she wants any sort of temporary custody or visitation, a family court is unlikely to award full custody to the father barring any kind of gross unfitness on her part. Speaking as a stand-up guy who was all gung-ho about raising the child, who's partner chose an abortion, and then ended up cheating on him several years down the line (and possibly before the pregnancy), I say this: the best thing for me was to have absolutely no connection to that woman any more. Choosing to abort was probably the only wise decision she ever made in the context of our relationship. The kindest thing she can do for this guy is to get the hell out of his life forever. That's impossible with a kid in the mix, and whatever his feelings of obligation, guilt, and waning love may be telling him right now, he's better off having the freedom to make a totally clean break. Of course, it's her choice, etc. But she's young, and given her own apparent maturity level, I don't think she's in any shape to take on any kind of child rearing responsibilities.
Recommended Posts