cg27 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 My Girlfriend of 1 year who is 30 years old and still lives at home, and has never moved out. We were taking about getting married, and the future. I asked her to move in with me, and she told me she can't because her mom would hold it over her head. I don't know what to think of this. Any Advice?
torranceshipman Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I'd personally be pretty worried that she is 30, has never been independent before, and lets her mom run her life. Are there other reasons she isnt discussing, such as, she's scared you wont marry her if you live with her first? Some people on here will insist on living together pre-marriage to check we're compatible (I am in that camp!) but others worry they won't get a ring on their finger if they do (probably more of an issue if the man is already a bit commitment phobic or not so into them, or much younger and not ready, though). How do you feel...are you bothered or could you wait a while longer until you both might be ready to M, or is it a big problem for you?
OnlyJake Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 She's 30....how could her mother "hold it over her head" that she finally moved out? Maybe you could explain more what you're talking about, because I for one don't get it....
Satisfaction Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Maybe she is helping her mom with the bills, rent?
stevejohnson1976 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 moving in together killed my last relationship...
Itzo Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 My Girlfriend of 1 year who is 30 years old and still lives at home, and has never moved out. We were taking about getting married, and the future. I asked her to move in with me, and she told me she can't because her mom would hold it over her head. I don't know what to think of this. Any Advice? wow okey, this must be a very monogamous girl right there, living with her parents ... this is huge. In other words, she is NOT A RISK TAKER. Certainly, you do not give much details about the situations, for some things I just have to guess but ... just keep in mind that ... She feels uncomfortable living home, and moving out somewhere else + getting married ... this is A LOT OF pressure for a monogamous girl like her. Take some small steps, like living home just for a month. You know move together for a month. The reason she told you about her mother might not be the real one. It is kind of rationalization about something else. When women talk things, they never say the DIRECT meaning of them. It is like a code. I can't give you advice on that ... I am still learning this ... it is new to me
Boundary Problem Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 My Girlfriend of 1 year who is 30 years old and still lives at home, and has never moved out. We were taking about getting married, and the future. I asked her to move in with me, and she told me she can't because her mom would hold it over her head. I don't know what to think of this. Any Advice? How is the rest of the relationship? Moving in together doesn't guarantee any sort of success. People sometimes change after marriage. I mean RIGHT after the vows are spoken. Does she have religious objections? Living together can show some of the problems that will show up in marriage, but it certainly doesn't give you a 'test drive' of what marriage will be. Only a glimmer.
Itzo Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 moving in together killed my last relationship... That's a motivation!
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