Pesho4uka Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 First sorry for my bad English. Infidelity is a word I really don't understand and have never understand in my life. I relate it to ownership of one person. No one is there for granted. People are exchangable as objects. Anyway for example I have always felt very aroused from the look of my wife sleeping with another male. May be I am not normal, but the life is so much more exciting and beatifull without bad emoutions like jelasy. Someone may say. You are not a man someone else is ****ing your wife. My answere is: "Ok so what? She is happy I am happy. Her happiness is my happiness. I feel excited by her excitment." Someday she may find someone else. So what? Ok I will be miserable, but there will always be someone else for me. Charle Chaplin has once said " I am one happy man because I know that there always will be one more prettier and smarter guy then me, but there will always be one more stupid and more ugly then me. This makes me happy." People are possesive they think the other person is an object and threat him like this. All expectations all this is culture it makes us misserable. Thank you for your patience ))) My english is misserable hope you got the point.
Author Pesho4uka Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 Ok you are right. I am sorry. I just wanted to encourage all the sad people here. And tell them the following: I have had 3 serious relationships before founding my wife. And I have learned the following. That you cannot keep a person who wants to go no matter what. And you cannot fix what is broken. But most important is that there is always another man or woman waiting for you and this other man or woman will be even more exciting then the previous one. So the most importent thing is to keep living keep going and never turn back. Remember all the good things that have happened to you. Keep the love to your previous spouse in the wardrobe of your heart place it in a box and open it from time to time to breathe like the good wine. And focus on the future and all the good oportunities that are coming:)))) This is my lifestyle and overaly I evaluate myself as a happy man. Best whishes to all of you.
SleepingDog Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Does she like watching you have sex with other women? Would she mind if you did? Just curious
reboot Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Different cultures, different ideas, different strokes for different folks.
Author Pesho4uka Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 You are right "reboot", but we are not so diffrent deep down inside. We are driven by the old same instincts greed, lust etc.... Anyway and for SleepDog she is jelous she don't want me to sleep with other women. But this is not a problem for me as I don't need. And honestly th idea of sharing her arouses me much mor than the idea of sleeping with some other unknown woman.
MARINE_ONE Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Ok you are right. I am sorry. I just wanted to encourage all the sad people here. And tell them the following: I have had 3 serious relationships before founding my wife. And I have learned the following. That you cannot keep a person who wants to go no matter what. And you cannot fix what is broken. But most important is that there is always another man or woman waiting for you and this other man or woman will be even more exciting then the previous one. So the most importent thing is to keep living keep going and never turn back. Remember all the good things that have happened to you. Keep the love to your previous spouse in the wardrobe of your heart place it in a box and open it from time to time to breathe like the good wine. And focus on the future and all the good oportunities that are coming:)))) This is my lifestyle and overaly I evaluate myself as a happy man. Best whishes to all of you. Very well said!!!
Woggle Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Open relationships where both people are aware of what is going is okay to me through I have't seen too many of them work without jealousy eventually creeping in. Dishonesty and betrayal though are completely different matters.
reboot Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 You are right "reboot", but we are not so diffrent deep down inside. No. You and I are very different.
reboot Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 "reboot" Realy? Tell me how? I disagree with most everything you said in your original post, therefore, we are different. I'm not saying one of us is wrong or right, just that we are different. And I only say that because you said, "You are right "reboot", but we are not so different deep down inside", and that's just not true.
Author Pesho4uka Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 I was talking about the "primary"(accoring to my dictionary) human qualities not about you and me in general The general human driving forces no matter good or evil.
Author Pesho4uka Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 For example the seven human sins and virtues
torranceshipman Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 The seven deadly sin and virtues according to...which religion? We don't all follow the same religion as you, and some people don't follow a religion at all!
Author Pesho4uka Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 They are not religion specific. Thy have occured during the renesans as part of christianity but they are not described in the holy book. Or they are described partialy. I don't think they are religion specific. Allthough used in religious context. I personaly do not follow any specific religion but use them so they are prettey much general.
Buttnutter100 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 First sorry for my bad English. Infidelity is a word I really don't understand and have never understand in my life. Well do you know what "cheating" means? How about "lying"? How about "dishonesty"? I relate it to ownership of one person. Um no it has nothing to do with ownership of your spouse. It has to do with your spouse's having made a promise to you (i.e. exclusive relationship) and keeping or not keeping it, and usually, lying about it when they don't keep that particular promise. No one is there for granted. People are exchangable as objects. Maybe this is your bad english, but no, people are not exchangeable as objects, they are all unique individuals. Anyway for example I have always felt very aroused from the look of my wife sleeping with another male. May be I am not normal, but the life is so much more exciting and beatifull without bad emoutions like jelasy. If she is doing it with your knowledge and consent, then she's not being unfaithful to you. What you have is an "open" marriage which you appreciate because apparently you have a fetishistic desire to be cuckolded by your wife. And/or you're a voyeur. Someone may say. You are not a man someone else is ****ing your wife. My answere is: "Ok so what? She is happy I am happy. Her happiness is my happiness. I feel excited by her excitment." As noted you apparently have a cuckold/voyeur fetish but that does not mean your wife is cheating on you. Because you're aware of it and agree to it. Now suppose your wife wanted a little more excitement and decided she would like to have sex with large barnyard animals behind your back? Perhaps that would be a little too kinky even for your tastes, and therefore you might not feel too happy about it. Someday she may find someone else. So what? Ok I will be miserable, but there will always be someone else for me. Well you are free to make whatever assumptions make you happy, but frankly, no, there's never a guarantee when it comes to relationships. Charle Chaplin has once said " I am one happy man because I know that there always will be one more prettier and smarter guy then me, but there will always be one more stupid and more ugly then me. This makes me happy." I always preferred Buster Keaton myself. People are possesive they think the other person is an object and threat him like this. All expectations all this is culture it makes us misserable. Thank you for your patience ))) My english is misserable hope you got the point. It sounds to me like you are probably not very happy at all about your fetishishtic desire to be a cuckold and most likely, like many others in your position, things have probably gotten a little bit out of control. You thought you could control your wife's desires but now she's going crazy having sex with other men, regardless of whether you actually approve of it. And now you're stuck. So you've got to convince yourself that you enjoy being a cuckold. You sure as heck didn't convince me.
Author Pesho4uka Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 I really enjoyed your post. I think you are right about most of the stuff except the last about the my wife getting out of control. Thank god not yet And I certainly hope never. But still I believe that even if the worst happen there is always someone else, except your kids and first line relatives. You can always change your spouse but you can never change your kids. People are not objects of course, but if you loose someone what should you do? Die? Cry? When you fall you should stand up and continue with your life. And anger and revange they are like a curse always come back to you.
bentnotbroken Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I'm not sure I understand your point. Me neither:confused:
reboot Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 I think what he's trying to say is, "this is my belief system, and all of you have the same belief system that I have, but most of you just won't admit it".
HappyAtLast Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Ah, one of "those". OK, he will learn with age, I suppose.
NoIDidn't Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 OP, you allow your W sex with other men provided you get to watch. How would you feel if she didn't do it for you to see? Would you feel cheated? Lied to? Even people in "open" marriages have rules and a working definition of what counts as Infidelity. What are yours?
vangel2 Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I disagree on the part when you said that broken things cannot be fixed bc it only remains not fixed when no work or energy was put into it to get fixed. There are many stories where people has survived a broken marriage or relationship bc it's love that holds them together & the commitment for one another. Unlike some, people believe in the vows they took the day they got married. If you truly love someone, there is no other person... it's full commitment to get through the best times & the worst times.
1_trick_pony Posted February 1, 2010 Posted February 1, 2010 I think fidelity should really be defined by the individuals in the relationship. As far as I know you're allowed to make up your own rules to your own relationships and adjust them as the relationship evolves and those partaking change and mature. Some people just aren't monogamous creatures. In fact, with all the 'sex scandals' in the news it seems as if quite a few people aren't monogamous by nature even though they're trying to live as such.
Recommended Posts