Author cashew Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 Your boyfriend has to handle it, whether he's approached when you are around or when he's by himself. Some guys tend do this more passively (ignoring her/walking away, because they don't know how to react) or simply making it clear that they are with someone else. Acting angry or publicly possessive of him will backfire, as she will perceive that she's pushing your buttons. If his actions have always been trustworthy and nonreciprocating of outside validation, there's nothing to worry about. He had NO IDEA how to react. He told me a woman hasn't ever come onto him that strongly before. Luckily, I was too busy cooking and talking to notice. I never got a chance to act angry or publicly possessive.
Author cashew Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 You are seriously surprised to see this kind of thing? It's quite common, get used to it if you and your BF go out frequently. Good on you for not making a scene and taking it in stride. Yes, I am surprised! I wouldn't even dream of coming onto a taken man. My girlfriends are the same way.
Kamille Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 The exact same thing happened to bf and I last night. He kept inching his chair closer to mine and she kept leaning closer to him (her boobs were literally on his arms at one point). And like in your instance, she gave him her number because she claims to be able to help him with an aspect of his work. GAAAHHHH! I don't get it either but this is the second time that a woman overtly hits on my boyfriend right in front of me (in 6 months). He always does the right thing (grabs my hand, leans onto me, etc) but it still infuriates me and makes me feel jealous and insecure... I have a hard time sorting through how it makes me feel... I wish I could be different but I get incredibly territorial in those instances - not to mention I feel it's a complete lack of respect (towards me) from the women in question. Boyfriend and I talked about it and it made me feel better. Plus, we're at a point in our relationship when I feel confident that what we have is unique. As has been mentioned, all I have to rely on is that I trust my boyfriend - fortunately. If women throw themselves at him when I'm there, I imagine they also must when I'm not around.
Author cashew Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 I really dislike women that try and take other womenfolk's men. It's disgusting and makes guys think all women are this way. Personally, I would have told her to take her to take a hike. Your boyfriend could have been a little more uhh...what word am I looking for? Can't think of it right now, but he could have told the chick to stop and pointed out that he was with you. You should slap him on the back of the head for that one. Haha, thanks DiscoChick. I've wanted to say something to her for so long. She came onto him when we first met too. I gave him a smack and a wet willy for not being more assertive. I couldn't believe he ran away from her like a punk! So, this creep basically hates other women and enjoys chasing taken men for the thrill of it? I hope it's nothing more!
Author cashew Posted January 30, 2010 Author Posted January 30, 2010 The exact same thing happened to bf and I last night. He kept inching his chair closer to mine and she kept leaning closer to him (her boobs were literally on his arms at one point). And like in your instance, she gave him her number because she claims to be able to help him with an aspect of his work. GAAAHHHH! No, she didn't give my bf her number. Again, I have to ask WHAT are these women thinking? I don't get it either but this is the second time that a woman overtly hits on my boyfriend right in front of me (in 6 months). He always does the right thing (grabs my hand, leans onto me, etc) but it still infuriates me and makes me feel jealous and insecure... I have a hard time sorting through how it makes me feel... I wish I could be different but I get incredibly territorial in those instances - not to mention I feel it's a complete lack of respect (towards me) from the women in question. It is a complete lack of respect towards us and our relationships. I feel angry because for some reason she doesn't take our relationship seriously. Boyfriend and I talked about it and it made me feel better. Plus, we're at a point in our relationship when I feel confident that what we have is unique. As has been mentioned, all I have to rely on is that I trust my boyfriend - fortunately. If women throw themselves at him when I'm there, I imagine they also must when I'm not around. I don't think we have to worry about our boyfriends. They both did the right thing.
Kamille Posted January 30, 2010 Posted January 30, 2010 No, she didn't give my bf her number. Again, I have to ask WHAT are these women thinking? I think at that precise moment they are thinking only about themselves: they will stop at nothing, not even his grabbing his girlfriend's hand, to get the guy. They're clearly a lot more confident than I ever could dream to be. And I think that is part of my problem and why it bothers me more than it should. I've come to realize that I struggle with self-esteem issues in relationship. I wonder why my bf would choose me and fall in love with me - even while I know rationally that I have a lot to offer. So when a woman is confident enough to just throw herself at him, I feel doubly insecure. It is a complete lack of respect towards us and our relationships. I feel angry because for some reason she doesn't take our relationship seriously. Exactly: like helloo! I'm RIGHT here. Plus it's annoying because they are then being completely oblivious to 1) social convention 2) his signals 3) our presence. Not to mention, the two times it happened with bf, they tried their best to exclude me from the conversation. I personally don't see how a guy could ever find being that rude attractive. They may be flattered, but my bf gets all the compliments he needs from me, so I doubt she'll get very far with flattery. I don't think we have to worry about our boyfriends. They both did the right thing. I would dump the guy who would play along in such a scenario... I'm thankful bf understood why I was infuriated.
Recommended Posts