SoVicious Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 First off this is what happened between my ex and I. We were together for a year and a half, and she dumped me a month ago. At first I couldnt see why she would dump me, and then when I was on the outside looking back at our relationship it became clear to me. I was controlling and extremely jealous. The weird thing about our "breakup" was that I wouldn't even consider it a breakup. This is how it went down. We had an argument earlier in the week and she was not talking to me for a couple days. I called her one night and she answered and told me she was going out with some guys who she just met online, but thought she knew them from high school. I asked to come with her to make sure she was doing okay and she disagreed. Needless to say I was angry, and scared something would happen to her. She didnt reply to my calls or texts the whole night and in my anger I stupidly changed my facebook status to single. The next day, she did the same. That was our breakup. She didn't want to talk about it after that and would only say "im tired of being with your behavior". This was my first love, and I wanted her all to myself. So.. I guess you could throw selfish in there also. After our breakup, I did all the wrong stuff. I begged and professed my undying love to her, and was extremely needy. It was just bad. After I let it sink it i thought i would be good to take her up on her offer to be friends... another mistake. I thought that by being friends I could work my way back to her heart, but I saw that I was just falling into the friends zone, so i backed off. Then one day we hung out and we got intimate... but she made it clear that it was just that, sex and nothing else. She also told me that she was not the last one that she was with sexually. I would love to go NC with her but I cannot get past the week marker. Not because I break down and call her but because she signed up for the same class as me, on purpose and its a once a week class for three hours and she always sits next to me, even when she has other friends around. I havent spoken to her since last week in class, and I decided to write a letter to her today. So with all this information let me know what you think about this letter. **I will replace names in the letter with underscores** ***Also please help me find better wording than "the old me"*** THANK YOU!!! _____, I miss you more and more with each passing day. I know I ruined what we had, which was a great relationship. I let my jealousy get the best of me. You know that I'm not that person, remember the boy you first met? I fell for you harder than I have for any other girl. Since the first time I laid eyes on you at ____'s graduation party, there has not been a day that went by that I have not thought about you. You were, and still are, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I couldn't even speak to you, as I'm sure you remember. I thought i had no chance with a girl like you. You had it all. You were beautiful, cute, funny, and a smile that I can't begin to describe. You still have all those things. I fully expected you to be taken, since who wouldn't want a girl like you? When I found out that you were single, my heart skipped a beat, and the smallest amount of hope began to brew inside my heart. When our conversations began to get more intimate I was so happy I couldn't contain myself. I remained in that high until our first date. I remember walking into your house, and meeting ______ for the first time, and he told me how much you liked me and how you used to always talk about me. That was one of the greatest days of my life, and I'm sure both of us will never forget it. Have you ever had a guy move slower with you, than I did? From that day on there were few days that we didn't spend together. It was the happiest time of my life. I don't know who I became down the line, but I stopped being the guy that took you on that first date, I stopped being the guy that you fell in love with, I stopped being myself. I know you waited, you stayed by my side, and waited for the old _____ to come back. There hasn't been a day that passed after we separated that I haven't questioned who I became. I took time to myself to try to find the answers I was looking for, and I spoke to many friends to help me along the way. I realized what had to be done to improve myself, I did not like the person I became. Since I know you are probably getting offers to go out on dates from other guys, just like when we started to get to know each other. But with that same small hope I had when I first realized that we had a chance to be together, there is a small hope in my heart that you will let the old _____ back into your life and into your heart. The old _____ never lost you, it was the person I became that lost you. Most importantly, the old _____ never fell out of love with the most beautiful girl in his world, and I believe that you are still in love with the old _____. The old ______ is standing in front of you now, I want to love you the way you should have been loved before.
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