Happygrl10 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I am staring at my phone just dying to text the guy I dated. We stopped talking because he might have thought I was playing too hard to get? So I am considering reaching out (which I never EVER do). If I initiate contact via text (I'm too afraid to call cuz I don't want to get his VM). Do you think the chances of him responding to a flirty text is better than just saying "Hey you" and avoid all talks of our issues and try to start fresh? Or should I stop being a coward and just call and leave a simple message?
You'reasian Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I am staring at my phone just dying to text the guy I dated. We stopped talking because he might have thought I was playing too hard to get? So I am considering reaching out (which I never EVER do). If I initiate contact via text (I'm too afraid to call cuz I don't want to get his VM). Do you think the chances of him responding to a flirty text is better than just saying "Hey you" and avoid all talks of our issues and try to start fresh? Or should I stop being a coward and just call and leave a simple message? Call and leave a message. Texting should only be used for filler conversations - when you need to deliver an important message, the more personal and face to face, the better.
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 We stopped talking because he might have thought I was playing too hard to get? Expound, please? HOW did the break go and what did he say, exactly?
txsilkysmoothe Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I definitely think you should call, not text. Speak from the heart, tell him you don't know why he suggested ending it and you only agreed because you thought it must be what he wanted. Tell him it is not what you want and you're hoping the last week has given him time to reconsider. Tell him you want to see him and work things out if he is interested. If he does want to work it out, you guys have to discuss whether you're in a relationship, exclusive, what it was that upset him, what are his expectations of you and yours of him so that you can avoid a repeat of this problem. Bottom line, you need to know if there is still a chance for you two or if you need to move on. You are only going to find that out by calling him.
OceanTropic Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I dont think you should contact him at all. Playing too hard to get? No such thing, he probably doesn't want to work for you, and he just wants things to come easy. If you call or text, you're just reassuring him that "Hey, now I am easier since you distanced yourself, I am becoming more available for you".
DiscoChick Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I dont think you should contact him at all. Playing too hard to get? No such thing, he probably doesn't want to work for you, and he just wants things to come easy. If you call or text, you're just reassuring him that "Hey, now I am easier since you distanced yourself, I am becoming more available for you". I agree with this one. If and when he wants you, he'll contact you, but I wouldn't wait around for him.
Angel1111 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I dont think you should contact him at all. Playing too hard to get? No such thing, he probably doesn't want to work for you, and he just wants things to come easy. If you call or text, you're just reassuring him that "Hey, now I am easier since you distanced yourself, I am becoming more available for you". Ditto to the above post.
Author Happygrl10 Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 I was feeling the itch to reach out last night but I was afraid of getting rejected so I ended up putting the phone away. My story is in another thread called "Dating Woes". He had been chasing me aggressively since we met and now that I think back, it did sound like I was playing head games to the point where he lost interest. I guess I should call him (what do I have to lose, right?) but my biggest fear is that he's already turned off that I haven't contacted him and he won't give it another chance because I waited too long. Sometimes you think you are doing the right thing by giving a guy space but you end up making it worse because he thinks you are not interested and moves on.
Angel1111 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I was feeling the itch to reach out last night but I was afraid of getting rejected so I ended up putting the phone away. My story is in another thread called "Dating Woes". He had been chasing me aggressively since we met and now that I think back, it did sound like I was playing head games to the point where he lost interest. I guess I should call him (what do I have to lose, right?) but my biggest fear is that he's already turned off that I haven't contacted him and he won't give it another chance because I waited too long. Sometimes you think you are doing the right thing by giving a guy space but you end up making it worse because he thinks you are not interested and moves on. Good grief. I read your 'dating woes' post and there seems to be so much guesswork going on, it's crazy. What a way to start out a relationship. I think his message to you about 'i'm interested but...' was just plain idiotic and sounded like game-playing. I mean, you could call him and just say, "Hey, it's been a long time since we talked, I was just wondering if we got our wires crossed or something." But, personally, I wouldn't bother because his message sounded like he was blowing you off. I noticed in one of your posts that you said that guys are straight up and tell you what they're thinking. You're joking, right?
Author Happygrl10 Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 Good grief. I read your 'dating woes' post and there seems to be so much guesswork going on, it's crazy. What a way to start out a relationship. I think his message to you about 'i'm interested but...' was just plain idiotic and sounded like game-playing. I mean, you could call him and just say, "Hey, it's been a long time since we talked, I was just wondering if we got our wires crossed or something." But, personally, I wouldn't bother because his message sounded like he was blowing you off. I noticed in one of your posts that you said that guys are straight up and tell you what they're thinking. You're joking, right? Yah, not sure what I was thinking when I said that. Haha! I was feeling a bit emotional last night but thank goodness I put the phone away. Otherwise who knows what kind of strange message I would have sent him. Haha. Right now, I don't have much desire to reach out (50/50) so I will just take it day by day.
Vintage79 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I know if a girl seems like she's playing hard to get, or in particular head games, I blow them off. It's not worth the time and effort, when so many other people want to spend time with me. There's of course the exception when I honestly find the hard to get girl better than the other options, but that's more the exception than the rule. If after 3-4 dates they're still playing hard to get, well, ta-ta, unless they start putting in some effort. I'm not going to try to say that every guy will agree with this perspective, but since I think this way, there are bound to be more. You may have blown it. If I was the guy, I would be much less interested at this point, and likely would be spending time pursuing people who seemed more interested. About the only thing you can try is calling, although I think texting would be fine - anything that shows some innitiative on your part would likely help -if texting, though, be careful what you say.
Johnny M Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Playing too hard to get? No such thing, he probably doesn't want to work for you Hahaha...do you honestly believe this?? The only guys who go along with the 'hard to get' game are a) desperate losers who haven't had a woman in years and b) players who enjoy the chase but see you as nothing more than a conquest and dump your ass immediately after having sex. Normal, well-adjusted men don't play this game. Why would you want chase some wannabe princess when you could be going after normal girls? The idea that a man has to 'work hard' just to get a woman's attention is absurd.
BackUpOrGetStung Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Johnny, I've got to agree with you. I posted something very similar a couple days ago on a "hard to get" thread. As soon as I sense a hard to get game, I immediately go into conquest mode and lie/deceive until she gives it up. Then...peace.
randall Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 I am staring at my phone just dying to text the guy I dated. We stopped talking because he might have thought I was playing too hard to get? What, do the two of you just play games with each other instead of communicating like normal people?
Johnny M Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 As soon as I sense a hard to get game, I immediately go into conquest mode and lie/deceive until she gives it up. Then...peace. Yup....if a woman is really hot, I might play along just to sleep with her, but I would never see her as relationship material. If she wants to play her game, I will play mine.
You'reasian Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Yup....if a woman is really hot, I might play along just to sleep with her, but I would never see her as relationship material. If she wants to play her game, I will play mine. and the moment one person in a relationship begins to play a game, they've started the end of what could have been a relationship...
Author Happygrl10 Posted January 28, 2010 Author Posted January 28, 2010 See.. this is why I am so torn about what to do. It seems like the general consensus from men is that they don't want to chase a girl who plays too hard to get. So after 5 days, would he want to hear from me? If I call, I know I will get his voicemail. Do I ask him to call me back or just say something light? Or maybe a text will work too cuz it's not intrusive on his time?
sid3 Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 It all depends on if you just both stoped communicating or if there was a mutual break up. If the contact just stoped because he caught on to the playing hard to get, then your in good shape to send a casual text, or even better call and leave a short vm. You just need to be careful that you don't come across as trying to get him interested again so you can continue to play the hard to get game again. I think 5 days is pushing it time wise, I wouldn't wait any longer, it would be more likely that he'd either not reply and he'll have lost even more interest.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 5 days is very long. Give him until tom. If he doesn't contact Friday then you know he doesn't want anything to do with you.
2sunny Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 if you want to call - then call. if not - don't. when you stop playing the games is when it will get easier... and become a more honest relationship.
Author Happygrl10 Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 I'm couldn't muster up enough nerves to call him so I texted him. He probably won't respond but at least it will be my final closure if he doesn't.
Author Happygrl10 Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 Ditto. If the break was based on what you said in your other thread, and nothing else occurred, you didn't play too hard to get. He said "call me later if you want to". I still don't get where this idea that you played too hard to get came from. Too late, I already texted him. Of course, no response but I'll give him 24 hours. After that, DELETE!
Angel1111 Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Ditto. If the break was based on what you said in your other thread, and nothing else occurred, you didn't play too hard to get. He said "call me later if you want to". I still don't get where this idea that you played too hard to get came from. I don't get it, either. Plus, his text message to her was just dumb. It looks to me like he's the one playing games.
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