He has no sense of self

[Boundary Problem]

So there was an ex-boyfriend from 10 yrs ago.

 

And having known him a while now (plus he is pretty honest about his foibles) - I realize that he has no sense of self.

 

He self-actualizes by interacting with others.

 

Either online or in person.

 

It is as if within him- there is just silence. And within the silence it is interrupted by him laughing at how he can affect the lives of people.

 

Of course he can get women, he just can't keep them.

 

Because there is nothing within him.

 

Sure he may be a narcissist. But not all narcissists are cheaters. And he seems to take a sense of pride in how often he gets women and cheats - as if that is an accomplishment and means he is very 'male'.

 

Sort of like a puppy that pees all over the house. No one would keep the puppy if it didn't stop peeing all over the house.

 

Hence he gets lots of women because he's cute. But once they get to know him - he can't keep their interest - because of all his behaviour problems.

 

He actually thinks it is the woman's job to be tough and train him. Well, when a robber steals a lady's purse on the street - we put him in jail. we don't tell the old lady that she should have better protected her purse. Same with him. I personally think his selfishness is borderline certifiable, but apparently being a danger to women emotionally isn't reason enough to put him in the psych ward (he's made visits there for other reasons).

 

So anyways. He has it all backwards (as usual). It isn't the woman's job to train a broken man. It is his choice to behave poorly in a relationship and lose the things that are supposedly important to him.

 

I don't get why he is so proud of cheating. It is really disgusting to me. He follows me around to tell me all about it.

 

Life is about status quo. And you realize that people are the way they are, and they won't change. So either he needs to find a woman who is blind to his problems (a young girl) or he needs to fix them. Sincerely - I doubt he will change. So anyways - I just wanted to say that I don't like the cheating. I don't think that is normal.

[DiscoChick]

:lmao: I don't know what the point of this thread was, but thank you for the laugh.