dietpepsi Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Does anyone have any personal stories of Dumper Pride on your parts? I thought about this after reading the "Women don't come back" thread. Who do you think has higher Pride "rating" so to speak when they want something but are afraid of being embarrassed. It seems to me that men, if they are wreck without their woman, that's just what it is, pride seems to mean less when your lady is gone. Men can often completely shut down in the absence of a loved one, and will often put themselves in extremely humble spots to try to retain their love. And seem to have a harder time letting go for some reason. But women seem to have a larger tendency to hold on to the decision and see it through, regardless if they are feeling differently at certain points or not. Is this simply the resolve of two different genders, or is there something different? I think women suffer from the grass is greener syndrome more often than men, yet continue to look for new grass, even if they like the color of the old grass. This is just my thought from what I've seen through myself and friend's experience. I'm just rambling this morning What are your thoughts?
VBH Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Does anyone have any personal stories of Dumper Pride on your parts? I thought about this after reading the "Women don't come back" thread. Not true. I am a female, was a dumper and tried to go back. Women sometimes come back. There was no pride involved. I felt I had made a good decision, I just wished the situation was different. Who do you think has higher Pride "rating" so to speak when they want something but are afraid of being embarrassed. Maybe there is a higher pride rating here, but if I want something I just go for it. I try once maybe twice and if it doesn't pan out, then I walk. I am not embarrassed nor do I go so far as to beg plead etc and embarrass myself. It seems to me that men, if they are wreck without their woman, that's just what it is, pride seems to mean less when your lady is gone. Men can often completely shut down in the absence of a loved one, and will often put themselves in extremely humble spots to try to retain their love. And seem to have a harder time letting go for some reason. Can't say, I am not a man and lord knows I have no clue as to how they think or I wouldn't be on LS. lol But women seem to have a larger tendency to hold on to the decision and see it through, regardless if they are feeling differently at certain points or not. Is this simply the resolve of two different genders, or is there something different? I think women suffer from the grass is greener syndrome more often than men, yet continue to look for new grass, even if they like the color of the old grass. I never thought the grass was greener. It was more a question of not getting what I wanted from the relationship and that I no longer felt ok with that. It was more a decision of I deserve better treatment as opposed to finding a better catch. Well, I did go back and ex wasn't terribly interested. I didn't continue to look for new grass, but just worked on myself (career change/excercising etc/going out with friends and meeting new people)...I just kept hoping the ex would think better of the situation and come back around. I did leave hom alone though...went with NC. So, the decision I stuck with was I want better treatment/feeling for me from a relationship and not that ex blah blah blah...I'll show him! lol Either way, ex has now been slowly sniffing around for the past 5 or 6 months....we'll see:) This is just my thought from what I've seen through myself and friend's experience. I'm just rambling this morning What are your thoughts? See comments above. VBH
ginyi1111 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 It seems to me that men, if they are wreck without their woman, that's just what it is, pride seems to mean less when your lady is gone. Men can often completely shut down in the absence of a loved one, and will often put themselves in extremely humble spots to try to retain their love. And seem to have a harder time letting go for some reason. Not necessarily true. When my ex dumped me he said he would probably regret doing it but he was sticking to his decision anyway. It has been 2 months and I have heard NOTHING from him. If what you said is true then I suppose he never loved me anyway..... If i was the dumper (which I almost was in the beginning of the relationship had he not cried and begged me not to dump him) I would take the dumpee back if he has changed i.e. resolved the issues that cause the breakup in the first place. And I would prob try to remain friends with the dumpee because you cant just switch off your feelings just like that.
Author dietpepsi Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 Thanks for the replies. I want to point out though, I wasn't trying trying to generalize everyone too much (guys or gals) if thats how it came off, I'm just going off of what I've known my male and female friends to go through, so I didn't mean to generalize all too much. Just feeling curious today, thanks you two
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