duece22022 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Well she broke up with me about a month and a half ago. Like most people on this forum that are fresh off a break-up, our moods keep flip-flopping non stop. One moment I’m fine and the next I am in complete disarray. I am 24 and I’ve been dating her for almost 6 years. I have never been hurt like this before. I have been no contact for about a month and I love it and I hate it. I love the fact that I have power to choose not to contact her and that this will one day lead to my emotional freedom. I hate it because I miss her a lot and she was my only source of sharing intimacy. About once a week I have a very strong urge to contact her and express all of my emotions. A part of me still wants her back, and I know with NC that will slowly fade. A very good technique that I here everyone talking about is write her a letter and don’t ever send it. Automatically, I thought this is stupid. Why would I waste my time doing that? It would just bring up bad memories and thoughts that I can’t express or it will never get to her. Plus I don’t like writing because im not good at it, (as you can tell). [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]But, I wrote her a letter with all the intentions of sending it. I actually went on here and posted a question “should I send it?” I got some really great and helpful responses. Everyone told me to stop and wait to “cool off” and eventually you will know the answer for yourself. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]This couldn’t have been more true. I was so overjoyed that I didn’t send it. All of us are doing so well with the NC, why would I just throw all of that progress away because of my erratic emotions. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]What I’m trying to say for all of you unstable flip-floppers like me is, write a letter or a pretend phone call conversation on paper. You can even have the intention to actually send it. But before you do wait at least one day to get your thoughts into perspective. If you feel like they need to here what you have to say send it or call them. (You’re going to do it anyways, if your mind is set on it). If you’re like me you’ll calm down during that period and your heart will stop racing and breathing won’t be so hard. I think you will decide not to send it, if you’re serious about pursuing NC. It’s a great way to vent. It actually works. Today I am proud of myself for fighting it off and staying NC. It gives me my power back. Now I have some control. Thanks for your advice everyone. If you know any other helpful techniques please post. [/FONT][/sIZE]
counterman Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Great to hear that it worked! It also worked for me. Although, I knew I was not going to send it. It helped me get a perspective on things and I knew by sending her this, it would not have helped my situation anymore. Probably would have made me look like the crazy ex-boyfriend, because we all go through those wild emotions right after the break-up. I'll admit I did make some crucial mistakes as well. I think boxing really helps. Just punching away your frustrations. I guess that goes hand-in-hand with working out. Keeping a journal of how you feel would also help daily. Keeps a perspective on things. Write an entry every time you think of your ex and don't stop writing until everything you were thinking about is out. There are more but nothing that comes to my mind at this moment.
atlast3 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) nevermind . I decided to edit. Edited January 27, 2010 by atlast3
Author duece22022 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 its ok i'm glad. you told me how you really felt. it helps me understand how different women process NC . I know she misses me. we were together for 6 years. it just that NC is the best way for me to get over her.
dyzfunctioned Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 My breakup trauma tends to be shorter than most but really intense. I'll be on a roller coaster ride from hell but then one day I just magically move on. some techniques I use are writing, running, watching movies (not depressing ones). Not exactly anything special haha.
prayingshecomesback Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 A great technique for guys to use... is to look at hot women on the computer. As soon as I put my ex on this pedestal in my head I go and look up Brianna UCLA cheerleader and google image search her. Makes my feelings of missing my ex go away almost instantly! HEHE
prayingshecomesback Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 I also look up that UCLA cheerleader when Im tempted to look up my ex on the computer. It really helps me get my mind off her. Dont look at Porn though...you will miss the sex part which could hurt even more.
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