Woman totally blew me off at the gym - I'm done. Going to join Superficial America

[espec10001]

Your problem is you care too much about what women think of you. One girl blew you off, and now you are saying you are gonna take steroids?

 

The problem isn't them, its the fact that you place your own value upon how women perceive you. I have news for you, you will never know how women, or ANYONE for that matter, perceives you. She blew you off, you have no idea what's going on in her life. Wrong place, wrong time, wrong attitude.

[Mr White]

You should have yelled - "Wait, are you done?? This celulite isn't going anywhere if that's your workout, bitch :rolleyes:".

 

There are no excuses for her caveman behavior, but there are also no excuses for expending that much energy on thinking about it .

[Lizzie60]

You can't judge ALL women based on this one...

 

She was rude.. she could have least answer your question about the magazine..

 

When someone talks to me.. I, at least, acknowledge them..

 

no need to go through all those surgeries.. it's ridiculous.. and won't change anything.. honestly..

[betamanlet]

It would be a lot cheaper to become a drug dealer. They are surrounded by women.

[Green]

What did you expect? It's the gym I'm often tired and mumbling when I leave soaked in sweat. I don't think the gym pick up is the greatest idea. You did it all wrong to. If it had been me and I saw a girl reading while she biked I wouldn't feel guilty interupting and talking to her then. If you had talked to her then only the reading would have been interupted not the work out. The ice breaker wasn't great either "what issue is that?" sucks! "Your awsome for reading that" or "I love that magazine" would have been better. Finally women will put you down in all kinds of ways and this by far is an easy put down. My gf gets hit on all the time while waiting for elevators or working out at the gym ect. and she is shy and when it happens she usualy just stays quiet. When I was single I had women call me everything from creep to loser for talking to them, it happens. The confidence to move on and not care is key. I once hit on a girl at a house party who called me a creep and acused me of being a potential rapist on first approach, but by the end of the night we had made out quite a bit and she was drunk dialing me multiple times in a row after we left the party. Moral of the story move on don't judge humanity on one interaction.

[bayouboi]

Picking up women at the gym is a big no-no and not just from their perspective. You don't eat where you poop. Let's say she had given you a chance, but then the relationship got nasty and you two ended up being brutally mean to each other. Yours and her future gym experience would suck.

 

Anyhow, going by what you said here about how the interaction went down, I'd say she's rude and you saved yourself from having to get to know someone who's rude. Consider yourself lucky.

[brock25]

I think she was rude. She could at least answered your question. Then excuses herself. However there is no need to spend a lot of time thinking about it or make radical changes. Simply just move on.

[Jersey Shortie]

Open GL, sometimes when guys come up to me like that who are attractive, I almost act the same way. Its not because I think that I'm better than them, but it's because I'm nervous as Hell and completely shut down. What she did was certainly rude and there's no excuse for it, but you never really know what's going on in her brain.

 

She has issues, but please don't let that keep you from trying again. I don't think you should take her reaction personally. Women are taught to be scared of strangers, and they're also taught that creepy guys stare at them at the gym. If it were any other place, she might have been more receptive. You never know.

 

BTW, don't take steroids. Muscles that are bulging out of mens' shirts is a look that a lot of gay men love, but not a lot of women to be honest. Also, you might grow breasts and your junk will probably shrink.

 

I DO the SAME exact thing as Awesome User name. There is this man at my gym that I have intense chemistry with. But whenever he gets within 5 feet of me I get so nervous. I can't look at him, smile at him or anything. I've promised myself a dozen times that *today* I will say hi to him but I just shut down when he is near me. He probably thinks I am a snob.

 

And I agree 100% with the rest of Awesome User name's posting.

[paddington bear]

She was rude. That was totally impolite not to even acknowledge you, but as someone mentioned who knows what thoughts were going on in her head.

 

Another nasty piece of work crossed off your list.

 

Guys on steroids look weird.

 

Here's a tip for you, which I read in a dating guide for women. It told women to indicate with a simple smile and some eye contact that they were interested or attracted in a guy, that way the guy feels safer approaching and doesn't fear getting knocked back.

 

I would a) use this simple idea yourself, flash a grin, see the response - no response or looking away could mean she is: freaked out, very shy and doesn't know how to cope with the attention or not interested - in any case, don't take it personally. If she smiles back, then feel safe to approach.

 

and I would also focus on b) instead of hitting on girls that you have your eye on, keep your eye out for girls that have first shown interest in you. Girls that have smiled at you, looked at you, given you some kind of non-verbal encouragement that they are interested. You have less of a chance of rejection by focusing on the non-verbal messages that members of the opposite sex send out to you rather than trying to strike up a conversation with someone who is off in their own little world and hasn't noticed you because they're thinking of that electricity bill that they forgot to pay or whatever.

[jw90063]

I don't think steroids is a good idea, especially for the OP. He already seems to have anger issues and such. Steroids can seriously alter hormones, and he doesn't need to be another George Sodini any time soon.

[Johnny M]

Open GL, sometimes when guys come up to me like that who are attractive, I almost act the same way. Its not because I think that I'm better than them, but it's because I'm nervous as Hell and completely shut down. What she did was certainly rude and there's no excuse for it, but you never really know what's going on in her brain.

Have you considered getting professional help? What you are describing is beyond shyness - it's got to be some kind of an anxiety disorder.

 

She has issues, but please don't let that keep you from trying again. I don't think you should take her reaction personally. Women are taught to be scared of strangers, and they're also taught that creepy guys stare at them at the gym. If it were any other place, she might have been more receptive. You never know.

Don't let that keep you from trying again?? Why should he subject himself to such a humiliating experience and try again with a woman who is either totally rude or a nervous wreck? If you theory is correct and she's so crazy that she can't even squeeze a word or two out of herself, why would anyone want to date her in the first place?

[theBrokenMuse]

Don't let that keep you from trying again?? Why should he subject himself to such a humiliating experience and try again with a woman who is either totally rude or a nervous wreck?

 

I suspect they meant with a different woman... I hope. Otherwise that would be the worst advice ever.

[paddington bear]

I agree with not trying again...in the same way. I saw something about what chemicals are released in our bodies when we try to do something and succeed and try to do something and fail. Whatever chemical is released upon failure it is thought is supposed to discourage you to fail again, however, upon repeated failure that feeling gets so bad that you lack the motivation to even try any more, because you've never got that feel-good success chemical racing through your bloodstream.

 

Open GL is doing the right thing by trying and not giving up - but he probably just needs to pick his targets better, read the subtle signals that the opposite sex are giving him before he even tries to talk to them and to cut out his % of rejections by focusing on who would be most receptive to his advances from the offset.

 

Rejection totally sucks. And it's not just men who suffer from repeated rejection. I've been rejected by guys over and over and over again in one way or another and the level of anger and bitterness over that can really build up, because it simply seems so damn unfair and that no matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to alter the situation (of course it can be altered, just need some attitude adjustments and some common sense).

[BG1985]

The gym is one of the worst places I can think of to meet women. Have you ever wondered why there are so many women's only gyms or gyms with women's only sections? Women hate working out around men and are probably self-conscious because they know that guys are staring at them while they are wearing their workout clothes. Personally I view the gym as a place to go in, do my workout, and then leave. I don't use the gym as social hour. I hate it when people talk to me at the gym. It screws up my routine (not that I really have a routine to begin with).

 

I also bet this girl could see you looking at her while she was walking to the bike. She probably saw you eyeing her when you were leaving the treadmill. I could only imagine that she also saw you set up in an area so that you could watch her while stretching so that you could prepare your attack after she got off the bike.

[Jaytb]

1. Start taking steroids, get even more ripped and lean that I already am. I want to gain 20lbs and start walking around at 6% body fat on a daily basis.

 

Yeah, and if you die of heart problems and roid rage, don't tell us we didn't warn you.

 

2. Plastic Surgery to my face and get skin treatment. Make my face shape more symertical and model like with very smooth skin, sharper chin and jawline.

 

I vote yes on this one. Give us the before and after pics too.

 

3. Go to mexico and get the heightening surgery. At least 3 inches, I think 5'10 will make me "passable". Remember I only am asking for very average women, I think most will accept 5'10.

 

Haha, just like in Gattaca right? Since you can die from this, I say it's not too good of an idea.

 

4. Either wear expensive suits or a tank top everywhere. That's it. At all times I'm either going to be showing off my wealth or muscles.

 

How about both? wear a very tight collared shirt, expensive tie, no suit, it'd be the perfect look

 

Post a pic, please. We wanna know what we're working with

[USMCHokie]

Ah, a late entry into the thread, but I figured I'd throw in my two cents...

 

OpenGL, the vitamin S is a bad idea. It makes you look silly. And it makes your junk look silly.

 

Now with the so-called "gym pickups"...first, you have to build some sort of recognition with women (and when I say women, I am referring also to men, for you women out there...)...you can't just go up to a random woman on a treadmill and expect to strike up a conversation...that's kind of creepy, to be honest...you need to build up a comfort level with the woman before you can engage in a full-on conversation with them...

 

So how do you do that...? The best way is from repeatedly seeing them at the gym. As she begins to recognize you and see you more often, you become less of a stranger to her...after a while, you'll be able to smile and say hi whenever you pass by her...hopefully she responds in kind...eventually, you move onto short conversations and whatever else comes...it seriously takes time to develop a repoire with people at the gym...

 

Make yourself known at the gym...distinguish yourself...I often have people walk up to me and introduce themselves...both men and women (usually older women...much older women...)...either because of the military thing, or they ask about or compliment me on some of the weird ass sh*t I do at the gym...it's often an icebreaker in itself...

 

The problem with your approach was that you just approached her randomly...no comfort level, no sense of recognition...you were just like any bozo at the gym...you had no identity in her mind...I will admit that she was being rude, but what do you expect...?

 

And the "hey, excuse me..." line...? Not smooth, my friend...not smooth...

[xpaperxcutx]

Wasn't there a thread before by someone who asked about hitting on people at the gym?

 

This is the worst thing you can do in regards to trying to get a date.

 

People go to gyms to work out, not to get hit on.

 

That's also one of the reasons why I go to a women's only gym and not a unisex one.

 

OpenGL, skip the steroids and forget Mexico. I don't need you to shrink your testicles in order to get a date.

[USMCHokie]

Wasn't there a thread before by someone who asked about hitting on people at the gym?

 

This is the worst thing you can do in regards to trying to get a date.

 

People go to gyms to work out, not to get hit on.

 

 

I agree with this. But if I strike up a conversation with someone at the gym, or really anywhere in public, it's just that...conversation... I don't think I've ever asked out someone in that sort of situation... Just not the way I approach things, I guess...

 

But yea, the gym is a big no-no when it comes to getting dates...unless you go to my gym, which is kind of like the golden friggin' mecca filled with young attractive women who work in the DC metro area...but still...it's a bad idea...

[seibert253]

The gym is a horrible place to meet women, unless you are "known" in the gym. Chicks really don't enjoy having some dude come up to them in the middle of their workout, trying to hit on them.

 

Prior to becoming a group fitness instructor at the gym, I would spend spend about an average of 2hrs a day in there, (former powerlifter turned amature bodybuilder). The owner and staff knew me and who I was. I wasn't just a member, but part of the gym's family.

 

Becoming the only male group fitness instructor also helped in getting "known". Women make up 95% of the group fitness class participants.

 

It's sorry to say, but the average Joe hardly ever succeeds in scoring at the gym. Seen so many good guys swing and miss when trying, even with "average" looking chicks.

[Zeegagge]

I've never been able to approach women anywhere. I've always been very social and cast a large net, and end up dating through that. The last girl I dated I had a met a few times and then my roommate mentioned that she said I was cute, so I sent her a text message asking her about Friday night and it was on from there. The girl before that had always been a friend of mine and really wanted me to come to this party she was having so I went. Once there another friend said that this girl adored me, so I went to the kitchen and started talking to her and we ended up making out the rest of the night. All of my love interests have started in a similar fashion. Wide social net, see who's interested. It makes for better relationships too, when it gets that far.

[OpenGL]

Sorry for the reply, made that thread late last night.

 

Anyway, I really don't think you guys understand my situation or maybe I should of made it more clear. This is not a I got rejected my one girl incident and now I'm overreacting. Maybe a lot of you guys haven't been following my threads but here has how the past two years of my life have gone, in sequential order:

 

1. Day game.

2. Online game.

3. Back to day game.

4. Night club game.

 

And by "game", I don't mean throwing out cheesy lines, I just mean trying to talk to girls/pick up girls. I have basically been constantly rejected for the past 2 years other than random one night stands or VERY brief (1-2 weeks max) relationships and that ONLY came from night club game. The quality of women from this was not girlfriend material anyway.

 

Day game has been the worst, followed by online game. At least online game I have gotten a few dates (with about a 1% ratio to women I contact). Day game nets me the behavior I described in my OP. And this is actually the first time I have ever approached a woman at the gym, most of my day game approaches have been at malls and coffee shops and such. I can't tell you how many times I have been ignored/shrugged off in day game, although I don't think I have encountered a woman as rude at the gym last night.

 

I also find it quite funny how some women on here claim don't pick up women at the bar, don't pick up women at the club, don't pick up women at the gym. What's next, I tell you that I tried to talk to a woman at the grocery store and you say don't pick up women there because they are just trying to shop? Give me a fing break already. If a woman (or anybody for that matter) is out, they are obviously doing something, whether it be working out or shopping or whatever.

 

Also, if I waited for women to smile at me before I approached them, I wouldn't be able to approach a woman for the rest of my life. Horrible advice. Women don't look at short and unattractive men, unless they are looking at them in disgust.

 

I think most of you need to pull your head out of the sand and realize the world we are living in.

[Johnny M]

People go to gyms to work out, not to get hit on.

You can say the same thing about every other place. People go to coffee shops to drink coffee, not get hit on. People go to book stores to buy books, not get hit on. People go for a walk to get some fresh air, not get hit on. etc. etc.

 

I think the real reason why women don't like getting hit on in gyms is because they feel insecure about the way they look (sweaty, flustered, no makeup...)

Edited January 27, 2010 by Johnny M

[jw90063]

No the real reason is lots of meat heads go to gyms. The girl probably just thought he was another jock, and maybe she doesn't go for that.

[Bejita463]

you need to pull your head out of the sand and realize the world we are living in.

 

Excellent (if misdirected) advice.

[C-i-C-u]

What was wrong is that you approached her all wrong. I can't believe you asked which month it was. What you should have done was say so what were you reading in popular mechanics I love that magazine. And after that see how she reacted it would have been a much better conversation goer than what you said which was just plain retarded.