tonker Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hey everyone, could really do with some impartial advice to shed light on my situation and what to do. Basically I met a girl 6 weeks ago on a night out, we ended up sleeping together that night...now normally i wouldnt even attempt to structure a relationship of the back of that. But i felt there was a real connection between us and we got on like a house on fire, she was so different from other girls i've met. So i carried on seeing her, just one problem. 2 weeks ago she split up with her ex bf they had been together for 3 years. So she wasn't ready for a full relationship even though we got on so well, she was scared. Few weeks down the line of dating and taking her out etc and we are still really getting on and loving each others company, but then i get a text asking to talk. She tells me that she feels its too soon and doesn't want to lead me on, she said that i am perfect for her but im not over my ex so dont feel its the right way. I told her that nothing has to develop yet. I enjoy ur company u enjoy mine lets just keep it at that and carry on 'seeing each other' no need to get complicated. So we did. Everythings fine, few weeks down the line and same conversation pops up. this time i feel i shouldn't persuade her to keeping seeing me, and let her make her own decision. Outcome is we are now friends, she said she still wants to hang out and do all the stuff we do just no kissing or sex "i dont feel its right so close to splittin up with my ex and not being fully over him, its just really bad timing for me at the moment" she says Now I'm still hanging out with her and we still get on really well, and i get on great with all her girlfriends. Ironically they all think I would be a great boyfriend for her! Were all going partying this friday as a group. Question is, should i hang on to a hope of a future relationship developing? i really really like this girl and i know for a fact she likes me its just wrong timing. But i need some advice, what should i do? Thanks for any replies really appreciate it! (sorry for any bad english/grammar, tried my best)
counterman Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hang on, you met her 6 weeks ago and slept with her and she broke up with her ex 2 weeks ago? She cheated on her ex with you?
Author tonker Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 No sorry, she broke up with her ex 2 weeks ago from the 1st time we met. so 8 weeks ago in total from todays date.
BackUpOrGetStung Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Tell her to call you when she's ready for a relationship. No use in getting friendzoned while you're waiting for her to heal. Stay in limited contact with her and see other girls until she's ready.
counterman Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 I agree. Don't put all your eggs in one basket; this is the case for your situation. If you hang with her in the hope that one day she'll be completely healed and you'll be able to start a relationship, then you are risking it against the possibility that she does not want to start up a relationship and just wants to be friends i.e. you might be friend-zoned. Let her heal and when she's ready to start a relationship she'll tell you. Definitely talk to other girls and hang out with your guy friends as well.
Lady_M Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Girls love romance. If you tell her that you are very attracted to her and so dont want to be just friends then she will know that you are really into her. Be clear that you like her but as more than a friend so that you are going to keep a distance until she is ready. Then really keep a distance. Maybe she will only realise that she likes you when you are suddenly not there. Be careful, sometimes ''Im not ready'' is just a cowards way of saying Im not into you...
Author tonker Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 Thanks for the advice, even though it will be hard to distance my self i think that is probably a smart idea. I'll go partying with them friday as prior planned and then give her space for a few months. Its bizarre that when your in the middle of situation it always seems so damn important. And you can't think of anything else! But in reality i'm pretty sure i'll look back at it wonder what i was stressing about.
dyzfunctioned Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hey everyone, could really do with some impartial advice to shed light on my situation and what to do. Basically I met a girl 6 weeks ago on a night out, we ended up sleeping together that night...now normally i wouldnt even attempt to structure a relationship of the back of that. But i felt there was a real connection between us and we got on like a house on fire, she was so different from other girls i've met. So i carried on seeing her, just one problem. 2 weeks ago she split up with her ex bf they had been together for 3 years. So she wasn't ready for a full relationship even though we got on so well, she was scared. Few weeks down the line of dating and taking her out etc and we are still really getting on and loving each others company, but then i get a text asking to talk. She tells me that she feels its too soon and doesn't want to lead me on, she said that i am perfect for her but im not over my ex so dont feel its the right way. I told her that nothing has to develop yet. I enjoy ur company u enjoy mine lets just keep it at that and carry on 'seeing each other' no need to get complicated. So we did. Everythings fine, few weeks down the line and same conversation pops up. this time i feel i shouldn't persuade her to keeping seeing me, and let her make her own decision. Outcome is we are now friends, she said she still wants to hang out and do all the stuff we do just no kissing or sex "i dont feel its right so close to splittin up with my ex and not being fully over him, its just really bad timing for me at the moment" she says Now I'm still hanging out with her and we still get on really well, and i get on great with all her girlfriends. Ironically they all think I would be a great boyfriend for her! Were all going partying this friday as a group. Question is, should i hang on to a hope of a future relationship developing? i really really like this girl and i know for a fact she likes me its just wrong timing. But i need some advice, what should i do? Thanks for any replies really appreciate it! (sorry for any bad english/grammar, tried my best) I was just in the exact same situation. Got together with this girl who broke up with her ex two weeks ago, slept together the first night, things were going good although we were trying to take it casual. Started talking about getting official even though we were exclusive from the beginning and acted like we were dating anyway, then bam, runs into ex one day and she realizes she still loves him and I'm kicked to the curb although we're still kind of friends. Not saying there's not potential for you two to get together but don't invest too much into it. And to add on, we broke up for like two days because she thought she wasn't over him then we got back together and then a month later she sees him and we're done. So yea, pretty similar situation haha.
BG1985 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 When you say y'all slept together, does it mean y'all simply shared a bed or had sex? If a girl has sex with you and then backs off and uses "feelings" for her ex as an excuse, I'd say she's not that into you. If these fireworks were mutual, this girl's ex would be history. She may actually still have feelings for her ex, but you, unfortunately, weren't enough to turn her away from him completely. Don't put too much stock into this girl.
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