You'reasian Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Hi, for those women aged 35-45, if you were on the dating scene and you met a 40-something man who'd dated a whole lot, frequently several women at a time, but had never been married, never had any kids, was "snipped" (had a vasectomy) since his mid-30s, was in decent shape and handsome, had a long history with women and lots of ex-girlfriends, and had a fairly successful professional career as a doctor or a lawyer, what would you think? This is a man (not myself ) who has dated a lot for many years, has been with many women and has had serious relationships too. If you ask him why he's never been married he answers, "I've never met a woman I wanted to marry, who also wanted to marry me." What's your initial reaction to this? What more would you want to know, if anything? Thx Everything checks out but how do you know the guy has been "snipped"? Consider the divorce rate - marriage doesn't always work the first time. Relationships are just the same. I can see how someone would put alot of thought into who they really want to be with and if they see things that are incompatible with them, they would push the issue to some kind of resolution.
Art_Critic Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 40 year old never married guy Red Flag was "snipped" (had a vasectomy) since his mid-30s, Even bigger Red Flag had a long history with women and lots of ex-girlfriends Red Flag when combined with other 2 red flags What's your initial reaction to this? The guy doesn't want marriage or kids and certainly isn't LTR material.. Nothing else is needed to see the flags a waving.. The ONLY guys I know with those 3 red flags were not great guys.. went thru women like they were water and had some sort of issue that needed a serious look at by a therapist.. JMO
Author Barky Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 So if you don't want marriage and kids you need a therapist?
Art_Critic Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 So if you don't want marriage and kids you need a therapist? If you read my post you will see the words "The ONLY guys I know" That part is significant in understanding what I have written, you have extrapolated that out to include men I DON'T know. Lots of guys don't want marriage and kids but those guys don't go get vasectomy's in their 30's They use condoms and birth control. Most Doctor's won't even do a V unless you have had children. A man in his 40's.. never married and a V while having had many relationships... Well.. I'll say it again.. The guys that I know with those 3 red flags could use a therapist.. I'll also say this part again... JMO as a man in his 40's
Author Barky Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 Lots of guys don't want marriage and kids but those guys don't go get vasectomy's in their 30's They use condoms and birth control. Condoms suck, and... well, there ain't a whole lot of other methods of birth control for men are there? Condoms and vasectomies, that's pretty much it. So if you don't like condoms, and you don't want kids, and you're a guy, ..... guess what, you're getting a vasectomy. Most Doctor's won't even do a V unless you have had children. Maybe down there in Alabama or wherever you're from, but not here. Anyone over 18 can walk in and get one. Yeah, if you're in your teens the doctors are going to ask you a whole lot of questions, but check the internet's vasectomy forums... it's easy to get one these days.
Art_Critic Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Maybe down there in Alabama or wherever you're from, but not here. Anyone over 18 can walk in and get one. Yeah, if you're in your teens the doctors are going to ask you a whole lot of questions, but check the internet's vasectomy forums... it's easy to get one these days. Any particular reason you have taken to try and take me out by trying to insult me rather than talk about it ? You haven't any idea where I live.. and I have no idea where you live.. But no you cannot just go get a V.. most Doctors will not do one unless you have already had children. I did what you said and used Google.. Guess what I found on the first link ? http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/sterilisation_men.htm Who can have a vasectomy? Provided you have thought it over carefully, any man can choose to be sterilised by having a vasectomy - though doctors are generally unwilling to do the operation on very young males, especially those without children. Damn... I'm right
Author Barky Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) you got me, one link from the UK totally proves your point. Fact is you made a totally unsupported statement not backed up by any statistics or even, AFAIK, personal experience. The only way to show that your statement that "MOST doctors will only do a vasectomy is if you already have kids," is true, you'd have to provide statistics. I know a number of guys, ranging from 28 to mid-40s, who've had 'em. Only one of those guys (the mid-40s) had kids. None of them had a doctor who even raised an eyebrow about it, from what they've told me. Now that may be anecdotal evidence, but you have no evidence whatsoever. While yes, there are undoubtedly SOME doctors who will not perform a vasectomy on dudes under a certain age or without X many kids, it's certainly not "most doctors." The reason I "insulted" you is because you're talking out of your ass, and I despise that. There's so much false information on the 'net that when I see more BS being thrown out there it irritates me. Oh, and if you want to know where I'm from, simply move your eyes slowly up and to the left, it says "California" and always has. Christ what a waste of my time. Edited January 29, 2010 by Barky
tami-chan Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Hi, for those women aged 35-45, if you were on the dating scene and you met a 40-something man who'd dated a whole lot, frequently several women at a time, but had never been married, never had any kids, was "snipped" (had a vasectomy) since his mid-30s, was in decent shape and handsome, had a long history with women and lots of ex-girlfriends, and had a fairly successful professional career as a doctor or a lawyer, what would you think? I would think he does not want kids, he does not want a wife... what else is there to think about? What's your initial reaction to this? What more would you want to know, if anything? That he would abandon long held personal convictions when he got to know me and would get a reversal....:lmao::lmao:!!!
Peter Attis Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 How is never being married at age 40 a red flag? Would you rather he had, like, four wives?
greatgirlfriend Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 As a 39 year old woman who never met the right guy, I prefer never married guys. I am Catholic and am opposed to dating divorced guys because I want to get married. However, him having a vasectomy and have many girlfriends says he isn't interested in marriage. I used not to want kids, but that attitude has kind of changed.
mem11363 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Art critic, The comment most doctors won't do a V unless you have had kids is total nonsense. What country do you live in - the Vatican? You imply there is something WRONG with a guy who gets a V even if he doesn't want kids. Why is that? Why should a guy have to wear a condom or require his GF to take BC with potentially nasty side effects if he has made that decision? On a separate note - the pattern of guys you know fits the pattern of guys I know. If you read my post you will see the words "The ONLY guys I know" That part is significant in understanding what I have written, you have extrapolated that out to include men I DON'T know. Lots of guys don't want marriage and kids but those guys don't go get vasectomy's in their 30's They use condoms and birth control. Most Doctor's won't even do a V unless you have had children. A man in his 40's.. never married and a V while having had many relationships... Well.. I'll say it again.. The guys that I know with those 3 red flags could use a therapist.. I'll also say this part again... JMO as a man in his 40's
paddington bear Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Maybe you guys should do some research on the amount of guys who decide to have a V and then fall in love, change their mind and want to have kids and find that it's not always reversible. The point is, it's a pretty permanent operation and not to be taken lightly. Re: 40's never married and has a vasectomy: Someone who doesn't want kids - people who don't want kids get married to, as a commitment to each other, kids do not have to enter the picture. 40's no kids, never married and never been in any LTR's would be a warning bell to me. I know this girl, met a guy finally, was thrilled, really liked him and was particularly delighted that he didn't have kids from a previous relationship (as that had caused problems before). And let's just say there were reasons why he'd never married and didn't have kids. by the age of 40 you want to know that the man has at least the abillity to commit, or has done in the past, whether that is marriage or LTR. If you want to have kids, don't get involved with someone who has decided against ever having them. You won't change their mind.
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