Barky Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hi, for those women aged 35-45, if you were on the dating scene and you met a 40-something man who'd dated a whole lot, frequently several women at a time, but had never been married, never had any kids, was "snipped" (had a vasectomy) since his mid-30s, was in decent shape and handsome, had a long history with women and lots of ex-girlfriends, and had a fairly successful professional career as a doctor or a lawyer, what would you think? This is a man (not myself ) who has dated a lot for many years, has been with many women and has had serious relationships too. If you ask him why he's never been married he answers, "I've never met a woman I wanted to marry, who also wanted to marry me." What's your initial reaction to this? What more would you want to know, if anything? Thx
OpenGL Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Thats going to be me in about 10 years Minus the good looking and dated a lot part.
threebyfate Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 If I were still on the dating scene, which I'm not, I would date him for fun, but not for anything serious. As someone who's always wanted children, who's currently pregnant , his deliberate attempt to prevent having children, would be a dealbreaker. Also, a guy who's 40, who's never been married, is concerning. Commitment issues come to mind, regardless of past serious relationships.
Skump Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hi, for those women aged 35-45, if you were on the dating scene and you met a 40-something man who'd dated a whole lot, frequently several women at a time, but had never been married, never had any kids, was "snipped" (had a vasectomy) since his mid-30s, was in decent shape and handsome, had a long history with women and lots of ex-girlfriends, and had a fairly successful professional career as a doctor or a lawyer, what would you think? I think most women would want SOME explanation of such a lengthy bachelorhood, but I also think most would be understanding ASSUMING the guy in question is now interested in a LTR leading to marriage. For instance, I think either of these explanations would suffice for most women: a) "Unfortunately, I was never lucky enough to meet a woman that I truly, deeply connected with, and I wasn't willing to settle for less than someone like that." b) "In my younger years, I simply hadn't yet become who I needed to be for a long term, committed relationship to make sense. Now I'm totally through with the game: it can't provide me with the emotional satisfaction that I want and need as a man."
Author Barky Posted January 27, 2010 Author Posted January 27, 2010 a) "Unfortunately, I was never lucky enough to meet a woman that I truly, deeply connected with, and I wasn't willing to settle for less than someone like that." Awesome line I hope you don't mind if I cut and paste that to him.
meerkat stew Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 There are lots of women out there in his age range who aren't necessarily interested in marriage and children today, just companionship and to meet fun people. When I get flack about having never married, my semi smartass reply is always "Yes, it's true, I've never failed at marriage," which shuts them up because only a divorcee is going to give you a hard time about this, and that comeback puts things into perspective nicely.
tami-chan Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Hi, for those women aged 35-45, if you were on the dating scene and you met a 40-something man who'd dated a whole lot, frequently several women at a time, but had never been married, never had any kids, was "snipped" (had a vasectomy) since his mid-30s, was in decent shape and handsome, had a long history with women and lots of ex-girlfriends, and had a fairly successful professional career as a doctor or a lawyer, what would you think? Meerkat Stew? do you know OP? :lmao:
Ruby Slippers Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 I would think... he doesn't want marriage or kids, so I'm not interested, because I want both.
meerkat stew Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Meerkat Stew? do you know OP? :lmao: Haha, his friend is five years my junior, I'm not snipped, and I'm certainly no don juan either like his friend.
yeex Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) Hm, this interesting. I wonder if men get as concerned or bothered about a woman who has not been married by the age of 40 Also what is more of a red flag: The man that has not been married by 40, or one that has and the marriage failed? Edited January 27, 2010 by yeex
Crazy Magnet Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 The lack of marriage wouldn't bother me since there are a couple of guys in my group of friends pushing 40 who have never been married. I think they would all make great boyfriends or husbands. The chop chop to his man root would probably be a deal breaker at this point!
2sure Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Know a few men in this position. A surprising number come to think of it. Women too. I would have no issue.
brock25 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 I wonder if men get as concerned or bothered about a woman who has not been married by the age of 40 It's not a dealbreaker to me. There are multiple reasons why a 40 yr old person was never married. Not all of them are bad.
Mr White Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 a) "Unfortunately, I was never lucky enough to meet a woman that I truly, deeply connected with, and I wasn't willing to settle for less than someone like that." QUOTE] Sweet line, but tit's just that - a line. You can bet that if i were 40 y old, never married, that's precisely I'd feed a new squeeze . It's oh so easy and common sense to say crap like that even when it has nothing to do with the truth. More over, the idea that someone comes along and changes *everything* has too many problems with it to list, but it seems women like it .
betamanlet Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Two possibilities, he's either a player or has zero game. If he's seeing multiple women, he is a player. Women would prefer that than a guy with zero game. When I got dumped on the spot for someone else on a Valentines Day, it was for a 44 year old guy (I was 29 at the time, my ex gf was 30 at the time) and he had never been married.... $$$$ ueber alles. Would you rather be with a guy who has been with hundreds of women and cannot commit, or a guy who has no game? What is more important to you?
betamanlet Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 The lack of marriage wouldn't bother me since there are a couple of guys in my group of friends pushing 40 who have never been married. I think they would all make great boyfriends or husbands. The chop chop to his man root would probably be a deal breaker at this point! Heck, I'm almost 35 and I've never really even had a girlfriend before. But women would rather be with a player, than a guy with no game.
Satisfaction Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 That doesn't sound like an honest answer about marriage. Sounds like a lie...
Eeyore79 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 I would date him for fun, but his vasectomy would prevent me considering a long term relationship because I want kids. I would be very cautious about having sex with him in case he had STDs. Also what is more of a red flag: The man that has not been married by 40, or one that has and the marriage failed? I don't mind if a guy hasn't been married by 40, if it's because he hasn't met the right girl. It's much more of a red flag if he made a bad decision and actually went through the whole wedding and divorce thing with the wrong person, because it suggests poor judgement in choosing the correct partner... if he made a mistake once, how do I know he's not doing it again with me? Second marriages have a much higher rate of divorce. Not to mention the alimony payments to the ex would p*** me off no end.
Crazy Magnet Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Heck, I'm almost 35 and I've never really even had a girlfriend before. But women would rather be with a player, than a guy with no game. My friends are hardly players. Most of them haven't had gfs in years. They all get eternally friend zoned.
yeex Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 In this guy's case, it seems like the vasectomy is more of an issue than his age. At least with the women who want to have children obviously.
Eeyore79 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 In this guy's case, it seems like the vasectomy is more of an issue than his age. At least with the women who want to have children obviously. That's probably the majority of women in their 30s then; particularly those who are pushing 40 and are in last-chance saloon when it comes to finding a stable relationship and having kids. Women in their 40s might be a bit more lenient since they're past having kids... but then again, many women of that age already have kids and are looking for a father figure, which this guy is clearly not (given that he had the snip to avoid having kids of his own).
OceanTropic Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 PLayerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr He doesn't want to settle down.
phineas Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 My friend was like that. Had a trust fund, spent his 20's & most of his 30's seeing the world, camp counseling, going to different colleges in different parts of the country. Living in cheap apartments. There were women. Just nothing long term. Then he finally finished school. Decided he wanted to be a special education teacher & met his wife to be on the job. She actually thought he was gay when he first started working there because he was 38, single, no kids & never been married. LOL!
Author Barky Posted January 29, 2010 Author Posted January 29, 2010 She actually thought he was gay when he first started working there because he was 38, single, no kids & never been married. LOL! Kind of sad that people associate lack of marriage with homosexuality. It's kind of the opposite. Let's face it, if a man can bang a new girl each month, ain't no way he's getting married.
skydiveaddict Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 (edited) Hi, for those women aged 35-45, if you were on the dating scene and you met a 40-something man who'd dated a whole lot, frequently several women at a time, but had never been married, never had any kids, was "snipped" (had a vasectomy) since his mid-30s, was in decent shape and handsome, had a long history with women and lots of ex-girlfriends, and had a fairly successful professional career as a doctor or a lawyer, what would you think? This is a man (not myself ) who has dated a lot for many years, has been with many women and has had serious relationships too. If you ask him why he's never been married he answers, "I've never met a woman I wanted to marry, who also wanted to marry me." What's your initial reaction to this? What more would you want to know, if anything? Thx IDK I dont think its so weird. I'm 51 and have never married. I've been looking for "her" my whole life. it just hasnt happened perhaps give him a shot Edited January 29, 2010 by skydiveaddict
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