Does anybody else find the bar scene hilarious?

[DiscoChick]

Bars are terrible places for meeting girls/guys because people go there with their cliques and socialize with each. I mean, they might as well be doing the same thing in somebody's basement.

 

Nail on the head. The only reason we [me, my brother, two male cousins, and two of our other male friends] went to a bar was to get out the house. You know, take a break from our hardcore gaming. Who would have known the bar would be full with drunken, depressed men looking for women! Okay, but we didn't expect THAT MANY guys to be there. We left after twenty minutes. I got that annoyed by the entire ordeal. We haven't gone back to a bar since.

[alphamale]

drinking estalishements and the alcohol industry are in cahoots - they make the "bar scene" seem cool and the place to be when in actuality they are businesses making tons of money.

 

its basically good marketing to create a fantasy land

[Barky]

I agree with the OP about bars. I have been to several. They are overrun with guys. The last time I went to one, there six females present, myself included. It was not fun.

 

I'd think for a woman that WOULD be fun

[Johnny M]

If you're into this sort of thing, goth or rockabilly-type bars and clubs are always teeing with women. Women LOVE to dress up, and men often times do not. If there is some sort of dress-up event, you can count on women to be there and it's not a bad place to start looking.

The problem is that goth clubs are full of weirdos while rockabilly clubs are full of obese rednecks.

[DiscoChick]

I'd think for a woman that WOULD be fun

 

I'm not a drunk, neither do I don't drink alcoholic beverages, and I'm not interested in dating a drunk I met in a bar. I don't do random sex partners. I don't even smoke. I was just there because I had nothing else to do. We ended up buying pizza and watching Star Wars 3. That was a great night.

[meerkat stew]

Many hot women are gold diggers. If you're looking for a bar with plenty of hot women, then you need to go to a bar in a wealthy area. A bar full of lower/middle income guys isn't going to attract many hot women.

 

If you're talking about average looking women, then just about any bar will have a decent # of them (30%). I see groups of women on 'girls night out' trips in bars all the time. Keep in mind, women go out more when the weather is warm. January isn't exactly the best time of the year to look for women at a bar.

 

At a bar, or anywhere, attractive single women respond mostly to muscle and money. Women who go to a bar looking for sex almost always approach the tall guy with a lot of muscle. I've seen this happen dozens of times. Even if she's not looking for sex, a woman is still most likely to approach and flirt with the big alpha male. If that's not you, then don't bother with a bar.

 

The best way to meet single women is to make a lot of friends. The more social groups you enter, the better your chances of finding a gf. If you only have 3-4 guy friends, and those guys are single, then you're chances of finding a gf are slim imo. But let's say you have 15 guy friends, and 7 of them are dating/married. Now think of how many women those 7 women know. Let's say that each one of them knows 3 different single women. That's possible. That's 21 single women. Make it known to those 7 women that you're available, and they'll tell their single friends. If all 21 women reject the idea of dating you, then that's just sad. But it's way better than sitting in a bar with a bunch of drunk guys.

 

If you're determined to find and attract women at a bar, then pick the best bar in your town. Nice area, well lit, non-sports themed, young crowd, nice live music. Go with friends. Have fun. If you see a woman you find attractive, then look at her eyes from time to time. She'll eventaully notice. If she looks in your eyes several times, then go over and buy her a drink. If she looks once, and only once for the night, then leave her alone. In my experience, 1 look means nothing, 3-4 means "ok come on over." If you're nervous or scared, then don't bother. You should be happy to speak with her. Crack some jokes and have fun. Show your personality.

 

The bar scene heavily favors women. No woman in her right mind would complain about bars being full of women. We all know that to be totally false. So why go to a bar looking to meet women? There are better ways to meet women.

 

Great advice!

[betamanlet]

I'm in DC, and it's generally a pretty good mix whereever I go. But my favorite place for bars is definitely Tampa, FL...luckily I'm headed there this weekend!

betray! you must stay here and suffer

[USMCHokie]

betray! you must stay here and suffer

 

 

Hahah. Seriously though, me and you have to hang out downtown sometime. Then I can report back to LS and tell everyone how awesome and completely full of sh*t you are.

[PJKino]

Im pretty bad with women and usually dont do well in the bar scene becasue its a meat market and clickish but i may have a new move that almost accidentally worked..

 

There was thsi group of girls we were next to and I kept bumping into and kinda elbowing this girl at the bar going in for drinks,i felt bad and told her listen im sorry im an ahole for bumping into you she laughed said its ok then as i went back to my friends they said she was looking and staring at me..

 

We were leaving because the train was coming to pick us up whitin a minute and had to rush otherwise i would have talked to her and probably would have had a shot..

 

Maybe this will be my new bar move:laugh:

[BG1985]

That may not be a good thing. She could have been looking at you and telling her friends, "That's the a-hole who's been bumping in to me!" I wouldn't go overboard with that technique just yet.

[Barky]

I like it

 

10char

[Buttnutter100]

When I was dating, a long time ago, I never found the bar scene particularly a good way to meet people.

 

It's very hit or miss, and actually, one of the big problems is that soon enough you see the same people over and over again in the same places.

 

If you do that enough you look at these people who you see over and over in these bars, and say, "What losers--always hanging out in the bars."

 

Then you realize: "Oh wait a second. I'm here too aren't I?"

 

I'm not saying you shouldn't go to bars now and then but you've really got to mix it up, try a lot of different places, treat it as an adventure. Don't go into a bar with any expectations.

 

Maybe the best use of the bar scene is just to practice your social skills in terms of meeting/talking to strangers, cold approaches, etc.

 

It's difficult to just go over and talk to new people but really it's a numbers game. There's no point in hanging out in a bar but not talking to anyone.

[betamanlet]

Hahah. Seriously though, me and you have to hang out downtown sometime. Then I can report back to LS and tell everyone how awesome and completely full of sh*t you are.

 

I wish you were right, but I'm one of the m ost socially "special" people you'll ever meet.

[BG1985]

The argument FOR the bar is that a lot of people have problems meeting women or men. OPEN GL was stating in another thread about how he failed trying to pickup a girl in the gym. The best place to meet someone is at a social gathering. The great thing about social gatherings versus the gym, coffee shop, or the supermarket is that people are more open to meeting and talking to other people. The bar is one place. Other than that, you need to try something such as dance classes, some sort of social club, church, etc.

[cognac]

The argument FOR the bar is that a lot of people have problems meeting women or men. OPEN GL was stating in another thread about how he failed trying to pickup a girl in the gym. The best place to meet someone is at a social gathering. The great thing about social gatherings versus the gym, coffee shop, or the supermarket is that people are more open to meeting and talking to other people. The bar is one place. Other than that, you need to try something such as dance classes, some sort of social club, church, etc.

 

What about us guys who don't particularly like to dance (or can't LOL), only social clubs I know of are full of dudes and old people, and I'm not particularly religious. Guys who already aren't involved in these types of activities aren't involved because it doesn't interest them, feigning interest in these things just to meet women only leads to disappointment, especially when you spend all that time doing something you don't want to do and don't meet any single women anyway.

 

I think the venue isn't really as important as the the individual doing the chatting. The fact is that if you're tall, reasonably good looking, and look adequately confident and aren't a pushover, women will be open to talk to you any place and any time: the gym, the bar, the mall, hell even the library. I really don't know why people, particularly women, keep side stepping this, knowing full well it's the truth. Women see guys who are under 5'10 to be as unattractive or even less as us men see overweight women, and I and most men will agree that we will reject overweight women no matter their "approach".

 

Instead of continuously beating OPENGL up for his "approach" which had nothing wrong with it (quite good actually, an environmental approach that beats the lines that get a lot of taller and more muscular men laid, like "HAY WASSAP") and blaming him for everything, how about we just tell him the truth? The problem isn't him. Blaming him when WOMEN are rude to him and reject him is just so dumb that I will never understand the concept of it.

[betamanlet]

The argument FOR the bar is that a lot of people have problems meeting women or men. OPEN GL was stating in another thread about how he failed trying to pickup a girl in the gym. The best place to meet someone is at a social gathering. The great thing about social gatherings versus the gym, coffee shop, or the supermarket is that people are more open to meeting and talking to other people. The bar is one place. Other than that, you need to try something such as dance classes, some sort of social club, church, etc.

 

 

Women will have their b*tch shields up in bars, so they'll take pleasure in rejecting guys, but love the attention. A bar is a really bad place to meet women if you are not an alpha male.

 

Going to a party of a friend is a much, much better environment, because if you know the host, your presence there is enough to show you aren't psycho, because you got invited.. I haven't been to parties in a while, but twhen I did have some to go to, I would talk to chicks for really long periods of time, and managed to even get a date once in a while. Now all my friends are married and their parties are just of married couples, so that won't be happening anymore.

[BG1985]

Well since you don't have parties to go to, what are your options for social gatherings?

[betamanlet]

Well since you don't have parties to go to, what are your options for social gatherings?

 

 

Right now? Not much besides just bars. I don't go out much at all. I'll probably start volunteering again in the Spring when my schedule has more predictability in it.

[BG1985]

Good. You just have to find ways to be around more people in a social environment.

[D-Jam]

Seriously, what is with the amount of guys at the bar?

It depends on the bar.

 

In Chicago, I'll notice that the hotter girls either go to the glam clubs or the martini and champagne bars. Sports bars are full of guys and "eh" women. Clubs are hit or miss...if it's more mainstream then you get rejects from Jersey Shore in there or "taken" women.

 

Best places I've noticed to find young women who are not too flakey are the martini bars and nicer restaurants that double as lounges. Most educated beautiful women won't bother with sports bars unless they're into football. They are also avoiding the clubs because it's too many douchebags trying to get laid and too many drama queens with too much makeup getting catty and immature.

 

pantherj said it right..."The best way to meet single women is to make a lot of friends." Most hot women who aren't spoiled entitled brats aren't going to a lot of bars or clubs. They're going into occasional fun classes, or the gym, or cafes with a book, and mostly they're clinging to their social circles and meeting guys through their friends. I met my GF through my buddy's GF. It's amazing how many GFs get that matchmaker thinking and want to hook up single people. Even the girlfriend of a coworker I didn't know very well was ready to do that one day for me.

 

The answer isn't bars...because too many women go out either not wanting to meet guys, or only being open to above average males who come along. Your better move is to think like the women you want, and then go to possible avenues where they would be.

 

Maybe take a book and a latte and go to the park. Sit in a nice spot where people pass by and read. Someone might just bump into you or ask for the time or give you some opening.

 

Try a "fun" class like cooking or something. You show up as the single guy (make sure you look good and not slob or too "average") and there could be that divorced or single woman who doesn't do bars who's intrigued a handsome guy is cooking food. Women find that sexy btw.

 

Charity work. I know we have heard this to death, and it's hit or miss...meaning you go and it's all women you're not into or married women or old women...but you never know. If you walk into the "thing" and see there aren't any women you would date, then be friendly and make social capital. Maybe one of them is going to drag her hot single female friend to the next one because she wants her to meet you.

 

The point is that if bars aren't bringing you success, or you're facing women with the velvet ropes up and loads of douchebags stealing them away...then they're not for you. If you're a bland average Joe in a room where athletic men with looks and money are...then you're not going to succeed.

 

You need to go where the women who DON'T want to meet the playas, douchebags, and cocky yuppies go. Granted I could go into a spiel on women who isolate themselves in life and then complain how they can't meet any decent guys, but I won't. The end result is you need to go where your chances of success will get better.

 

I've said this before...if you like to dress bland and average because it's "comfy" and go to places that only you are into (and not many women are), then don't complain you're not meeting women. It's like when I meet guys who only like to watch sports, drink beer, and play video games...AND...they're not too fit and very bland looking...but they complain how women are shallow and they can't meet any women.

 

If you're going hunting for deer, are you going to look in a dessert? Are you going to wear bright clothing that scares the deer away? Are you going to go to the forest where 1000 other hunters are looking for the few deer that are in there?

[betamanlet]

It depends on the bar.

 

In Chicago, I'll notice that the hotter girls either go to the glam clubs or the martini and champagne bars. Sports bars are full of guys and "eh" women. Clubs are hit or miss...if it's more mainstream then you get rejects from Jersey Shore in there or "taken" women.

 

Best places I've noticed to find young women who are not too flakey are the martini bars and nicer restaurants that double as lounges. Most educated beautiful women won't bother with sports bars unless they're into football. They are also avoiding the clubs because it's too many douchebags trying to get laid and too many drama queens with too much makeup getting catty and immature.

 

pantherj said it right..."The best way to meet single women is to make a lot of friends." Most hot women who aren't spoiled entitled brats aren't going to a lot of bars or clubs. They're going into occasional fun classes, or the gym, or cafes with a book, and mostly they're clinging to their social circles and meeting guys through their friends. I met my GF through my buddy's GF. It's amazing how many GFs get that matchmaker thinking and want to hook up single people. Even the girlfriend of a coworker I didn't know very well was ready to do that one day for me.

 

The answer isn't bars...because too many women go out either not wanting to meet guys, or only being open to above average males who come along. Your better move is to think like the women you want, and then go to possible avenues where they would be.

 

Maybe take a book and a latte and go to the park. Sit in a nice spot where people pass by and read. Someone might just bump into you or ask for the time or give you some opening.

 

Try a "fun" class like cooking or something. You show up as the single guy (make sure you look good and not slob or too "average") and there could be that divorced or single woman who doesn't do bars who's intrigued a handsome guy is cooking food. Women find that sexy btw.

 

Charity work. I know we have heard this to death, and it's hit or miss...meaning you go and it's all women you're not into or married women or old women...but you never know. If you walk into the "thing" and see there aren't any women you would date, then be friendly and make social capital. Maybe one of them is going to drag her hot single female friend to the next one because she wants her to meet you.

 

The point is that if bars aren't bringing you success, or you're facing women with the velvet ropes up and loads of douchebags stealing them away...then they're not for you. If you're a bland average Joe in a room where athletic men with looks and money are...then you're not going to succeed.

 

You need to go where the women who DON'T want to meet the playas, douchebags, and cocky yuppies go. Granted I could go into a spiel on women who isolate themselves in life and then complain how they can't meet any decent guys, but I won't. The end result is you need to go where your chances of success will get better.

 

I've said this before...if you like to dress bland and average because it's "comfy" and go to places that only you are into (and not many women are), then don't complain you're not meeting women. It's like when I meet guys who only like to watch sports, drink beer, and play video games...AND...they're not too fit and very bland looking...but they complain how women are shallow and they can't meet any women.

 

If you're going hunting for deer, are you going to look in a dessert? Are you going to wear bright clothing that scares the deer away? Are you going to go to the forest where 1000 other hunters are looking for the few deer that are in there?

 

 

The only places where you might even come close to a 50-50 ratio is some trendy type place, a club, but the women there are to be seen, to get attention, not to meet anyone... If you go to say an irish bar, or a "blue collar" bar, you won't find many women at all. When I live don Long Island, I lived in a blue collar area, really nice place, and there were TONS of bars, and you would NEVER, I mean NEVER EVER EVER see any woman under the age of 45 in them. I was in my 20s at the time...

 

In fact, my ex girlfriend is the only young female I have ever known that would actually go to those kind of places, where she lived near Philly. I'd go with her, and she basically was the only female there, and certainly the only one under 40.

[D-Jam]

The only places where you might even come close to a 50-50 ratio is some trendy type place, a club, but the women there are to be seen, to get attention, not to meet anyone... If you go to say an irish bar, or a "blue collar" bar, you won't find many women at all. When I live don Long Island, I lived in a blue collar area, really nice place, and there were TONS of bars, and you would NEVER, I mean NEVER EVER EVER see any woman under the age of 45 in them. I was in my 20s at the time...

 

In fact, my ex girlfriend is the only young female I have ever known that would actually go to those kind of places, where she lived near Philly. I'd go with her, and she basically was the only female there, and certainly the only one under 40.

 

Here's what I've seen in "alcohol places"...

 

1) Regular Bars/Fun Bars: Mostly guys and women on their "girls night out". The women are open to meeting guys, but not seeking. So it takes an above average guy to get their attention.

 

2) Trendy Nightclubs: The women there are as you say...there to be seen and hopefully find a guy with looks and money or at least looks.

 

3) Yuppie Bars/Upscale Places: Many status seekers and gold diggers. If you're not appearing as wealth then forget it. I'll see women from my work go to those spots and rave about the doctor or lawyer they met.

 

4) Sports Bars/Watering Holes: Mostly guys. Girls who come out are generally "taken", but things can change. Better place to watch the game than meet people.

 

5) College Bars: More women, but again...the good looking ones are seeking equal or better in looks. They're also more inclined to the guy who has his own place than a dorm room or apartment with 4 other guys. Even better if you have a car. You can call this gold digging, but I call it more "high school", where the guy who looks better and has a car will go further than the Average Joe who doesn't.

 

6) Underground Nightclubs: Seen many gripe at the lack of good looking women or how they become sausagefests. It's hit or miss, but many times the women who show are "taken".

 

 

This again reiterates my point. BARS SUCK!

 

So go elsewhere, make some friends your own age and interests, and see who might just by chance introduce you to their friends. Also make sure you have interests that average people are into. Seen guys who hate sports and hate playing sports, not into cooking, or art, or even nature. They'll be into niche movies, video games, and computers. Not a bad thing, but how many women are also into those things that ALSO want a Joe Average? So they'll gripe how the "hot geek girl" is still chasing Donnie the Douchebag. Some things just don't change.

 

I gave you suggestions...go with them. Less bars...more new spots...and make a bigger circle of friends. If all your friends are single guys who have as much trouble as you getting a date, then it's a waste in that dept. Don't dump them, but seek out other people.

[Disillusioned]

Here in Los Angeles, we have only 2 kinds of bars:

1. College bars where no one will give you the time of day unless you're also a student (and ready the shoot the bull about academics).

2. Community bars where old geezers sit around drinking oceans of booze but never actually getting falling-down drunk.

 

I've gone to a few singles events at bars, and they were pathetic rather than hilarious. There were no guys hitting on the women, who all looked like a bunch of dumpy little 60-yo Dolly Parton wannabes with the dance fetish. If there is a such thing as a biological clock, well then these women's clocks must have been wired to time bombs which already exploded. They were dancing alone on the floor, except for the 80-yo bald headed guy who danced with 4 of them.

[meerkat stew]

Here in Los Angeles, we have only 2 kinds of bars:

1. College bars where no one will give you the time of day unless you're also a student (and ready the shoot the bull about academics).

2. Community bars where old geezers sit around drinking oceans of booze but never actually getting falling-down drunk.

 

Huh? Los Angeles? Are you talking Los Angeles, Idaho or something? Have visited and been out in LA, but not an expert by any stretch, and recall lots more different options than the above.

[OpenGL]

Huh? Los Angeles? Are you talking Los Angeles, Idaho or something? Have visited and been out in LA, but not an expert by any stretch, and recall lots more different options than the above.

 

The question is, have you been to Los Angeles?

 

I have many times (I live in CA) and most LA women are unattainable by even above average men. LA women get plastic surgery and doll themselves up every night and go to the really upscale clubs that normal men can't even get into.