cforces Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 My ex left me in September becasue I never had my priorites straight. I spent too much time hanging out with my friends which ultimately led to inattentiveness, negect and stupid lies. She got sick of putting up with my behavior and left me. She started dating a co-worker shortly after we broke (two-three weeks) up as he was there for her when she needed someone. I done all the wrong things first; begging, pleading, apologizing. Basically immature and childish behavior. I've was in "No Contact" since Halloween, when she said, "Please don't call me again, I have moved on and I think it's time you do too" (broke it 2 weeks ago and had a friendly chat over IM, just catching up pretty much, I initated it.) The thing is I can't stop feeling pissed off, angry, poisined and sad because I KNOW that if I just shown her that I loved her and spent some time with her I would still be with the girl I love. I miss her soo much and I wish I could show her that I want to be with her, but I can't. I just don't know what to do. I've done everything I think I could do: I've done the whole pros ands cons of the realtionship and there are far more pros, I go out partying with my buddies every weekend, I go to the gym, I spend hours at homework, I go on dates with other girls, I'm after sleeping with other girls I dated before my ex, started playing a new instrument, been NC for months, made plenty of more close friends, watched every break up movie I could search, hid everything my ex left at my place/gave me, bought new clothes, and even went tanning It seems that instead of "Out of sight, out of mind" I'm getting the whole "Absence makes the heart grow stronger" as I keep loving her and she is in my thoughts every night & day more than she's not in them. I just miss the bond we had so much and how she made me happier than anyone else I ever met. I wish there was somehow a way for me to create a second chance but I know there isn't so I HAVE to move on but just can't.....
carhill Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 I spent too much time hanging out with my friends which ultimately led to inattentiveness, neglect and stupid lies. She got sick of putting up with my behavior and left me. How's that going, the introspection and behavioral modification part? You said you've been mostly NC since "Halloween", which would mean only three months. Since you've been doing all those cool things to get over her, including dating and sleeping with other young ladies, I'm wondering how the working on yourself part fits in with that. Part of breaking up is acceptance. Sounds like you haven't gotten there yet. Accept that she's moved on. If you're under 25, such is pretty normal, even in an apparently bonded relationship. People change a ton during their 20's. Welcome to LS
Snugglepuss Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Wow, you sound just like my ex. He talks about all this change he is trying to undergo and wanting to better himself and his life, but is out partying and probably sleeping with other girls while we are broken up because obviously, he's not getting it from me! I can already predict that he will text/call in a couple more days and be pleading and asking what he could possibly do because he can't imagine a future without me and blah, blah, blah... I agree with carhill. I don't see how you will accomplish anything if you are busy F-ing around. I guess everyone has their own way of coping.
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